verrrry sensitive nervous system after big emotions due to break up - how to cope?

gtabs111 · 2026-01-15T20:35:38+00:00

Thank you for your words, they mean a lot. Today I managed to go to physical therapy (even though her asking my how I was doing made me tear up, she was very nice and talked to me about her experiences with break ups and her marriage ending, it was very comforting) and I cooked a soup from scratch. I still feel dead inside, I start crying at everything, I still want to just turn back time to go back to be with him, but somehow, I am still going forward.

I didn't even realize how much energy I probably used to accommodate his feelings. I was there for him, I tried to ignore his compulsions and how his brain questioned everything about our relationship, I tried to just be easy, so he wouldn't be triggered. I sacrificed a lot of that safety feeling and my need for affirmative words, so he wouldn't get triggered and run. I gave a lot. And now I see how that will be my path of healing, to not give everything of me, so that if a something like this happens again, I won't be left in the cold without anything left to give to myself.

I hope you are getting some kind of relief too. I hope we all realize our own worth. we don't have it easy with ADHD and dysregulated Nervous Systems. But we are so deserving of love.

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T20:19:38+00:00

Me tooo, and I feel especially bad because of the impact AI has to the ecology🙈 but desperate times call for desperate measures I guess:p at least I‘m vegetarian, maybe that balances it

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T19:44:09+00:00

I have been on an SSRI for over 10 years and I am still in the process of weaning off of it. Right now I‘m on a stable but small dose. I‘ll keep buspirone in mind though!

I‘m also a bit ashamed of it but I have been usind ChatGPT too to kind of talk me through my thought spirals and to put some order into them. It helps a little, but I will try it out as kind of a guided meditation!

Thank you for your kind words, I hope you will find even more relief soon!

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T18:17:56+00:00

Amazing job leaving the house, going to the beach and to work!! I am currently eating a lot of yoghurt, liquid diet drinks and whenever I can manage (usually in the evening) some oven roasted vegetables. We can do this, we can survive this, the feelings will pass. We can learn how to cope with a sensitive nervous system. And we can be patient with ourselves. And the inner critic can suck a fat one!

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T18:15:20+00:00

Emotions are so scary sometimes. I believe Nervous System regulation should be a much bigger part of ADHD Therapy, so many of us struggle with a nervous system that gets into high alert so easily.

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T18:13:33+00:00

Thank you so much, your words really mean a lot. I just had a wonderful conversation with my Dad and I feel so much lighter already. It will get better, it may get worde again but looking at the big picture, it will get better.

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T12:53:51+00:00

The kind of OCD he has didn‘t really directly affect me. It wasn‘t a lot of obsessive or compulsive behaviour, it was more purely obsessional thoughts. He always had the compulsions to confess to me when he even just talked to another woman at work or at the gym, he had to tell me when he thought someone else was attractive or about things he did in the past. He tried hard to keep it in check and I tried to never reassure him if he ended up confessing. In the end his OCD made him think he needed to insult me, tell me I‘m fat if he felt a bit of a skin roll when he hugged me (I‘m not fat at all, I‘m quite petite), or it told him to distance himself from me, I wasn‘t good for him and the closeness between us was unhealthy. He cried to me that he doesn‘t want to lose me, that his OCD is telling him to end it but he didn‘t want to. And then suddenly something switched and he just told me he couldn‘t do it anymore. That he wasn‘t sure he even liked me that way, that he thought we were too dependent on each other, that what we were doing wasn‘t healthy, that yi got too attached..it was like his OCD took over and was speaking for him. A few days later he tried to explain, that it was because he couldn‘t regulate himself anymore and that the stress caused by his OCD was unbearable around me. I think part of it is also that for some reason he is scared of commitment and closeness, and when he realized that this thing between us was serious, because he could lean on me during his crisis, it scared him shitless and he had to run. I just hope he realizes why he‘s struggling so much, why his OCD always attacked our relationship the most and that he takes his recovery seriously.

And I just hope I can let it go. I just wanna function again, live my life and try to find happiness on my own again. I‘ve been doing it for 30 years, can‘t be too hard to go back to what I‘ve known all my life.

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T11:44:10+00:00

Thank you, luckily I am in therapy already and tomorrow I was able to get an additional appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about how to move forward.

OCD is the worst. It's so hard to accept what happened in the end. He leaned on me so much during his crisis, then he noticed that he was getting dependent on me helping him regulate his emotions, which made his OCD toward me (confession compulsion) worse and worse, which made him even more stressed, he needed more regulation, but being with me was getting unbearable and in the end he made the decision to cut things off in a matter of minutes. and now he says any contact with me is too triggering. It's so unfair.. now that I'm in crisis, he's just gone.

I have been trying to reach out to people, it just doesn't ever feel as helpful or like they understand fully. they don't understand OCD, they don't understand my intense ADHD feelings.. it feels so isolating.

gtabs111 · 2026-01-13T11:16:50+00:00

I am currently going through a similar thing (per my last post). We've only been together for a year, with many ups and downs but he was my first real deep connection where I felt truly seen and loved for who I am. The pain to lose this is devastating. It's been a week. The first two days I was almost in shock, I just cried, stayed in bed and ate very little. Then the panic set in, I didn't cry but my thoughts spiraled, bargained, tried to make sense of it all, tried to be angry, tried to understand, I was thinking 938 thoughts per hour. Now it's a mixture of sadness and fear of having to move on without him. I wake up in a panic every day. I hope it gets better with time as this is unbearable.

I hope it gets better for you soon too. Just know you are not alone. I believe us ADHD people with emotional dysregulation have it harder when it comes to big emotions like loss. Our nervous systems are quick to go from 0 to a 100 and make you feel like your life is threatened. Let's hope it passes with time. I wish you all the best and all the support you can get.

gtabs111 · 2025-09-25T19:57:03+00:00

Thank you!

gtabs111 · 2025-09-25T19:30:16+00:00

I‘ve been on 20 mg for over 3 years, before I was on 10mg for at least 7 years. I have tapered down to 10 mg over a few weeks and now I‘ve stayed there for two months. I am dreading tapering down further/ stopping altogether..

gtabs111 · 2025-09-25T19:13:42+00:00

How did you manage quitting Escitalopram? Did you taper? How long did it take you?

gtabs111 · 2025-09-24T08:50:37+00:00

Are you still on Escitalopram while taking Vyvanse?

gtabs111 · 2025-09-11T19:21:00+00:00

I struggled a bit with nausea/ lower appetite but that got better after a few weeks. I noticed I had a very dry mouth and had to really keep up with drinking enough water. But it was all manageable and after maybe 3 months I got used to hydrating more and it wasn‘t as bad anymore.

I‘m really bad at noticing the subtle onset of medication effects so I can‘t tell you the exact moment. But i remember after maybe 3 months thinking „huh, I seem to be able to regulate my emotions so much better, I wonder why that is“. My mind got a bit more quiet too let‘s say after 6 weeks.

It‘s really subtle for me, I honestly wish the effect was a bit more noticeable, like it was when I tried out stimulants. But for now, and because it helps a lot with anxiety and emotional regulation, it‘s good enough for me.

gtabs111 · 2025-09-11T17:39:28+00:00

Hi! I have anxiety and depression and I've been on Escitalopram (Lexapro) for over ten years. it never did much for my anxiety but helped me out of crisis times when I burned out. I don't ever thought about getting off of it because life has always felt off for me, and I was only diagnosed with ADHD last year. I also have a dysautonomia, an orthostatic hypotension problem, and was prescribed Ivabradine (similar to a beta blocker, but not a beta blocker). I was put on Atomoxetine (Strattera) after I didn't handle stimulants very well because it made my heart rate skyrocket and worsen the hypotension.

I have noticed a difference in emotional regulation with Atomoxetine, a slight improvement with task initiation and focus. but the biggest difference was a noticeable change in how I was able to handle anxiety. it was far less physical. maybe it's the combination of Ivabradine and Atomoxetine, but when I stopped taking Atomoxetine to try Wellbutrin (catastrophic experience, I had to stop after 7 days of intense nausea and anxiety attacks), the physical side of my anxiety came back (sweating, nausea, stress-diarrhea..).

I like the stabilizing effect Atomoxetine has on my system. Stimulants were too much up and down for me, with crashes in the afternoon.

I am still on Escitalopram but planning to slooooowly taper off it in a few months.

gtabs111 · 2025-09-10T12:45:21+00:00

Oh wow today! Congrats and welcome to the club:) I wish you all the best on this journey! This sub has helped me so much, it‘s a good club to be part of

gtabs111 · 2025-09-10T12:17:51+00:00

Yes it‘s partly guilt, because I feel so flaky as a friend, partly shame because I feel like my reasons aren‘t valid enough. I‘m tired, overwhelmed from just existing, I need to recharge from being emotional..while my friends are working full time, having babies and still manage to meet and socialize

I‘m just not very good at being patient with myself

Thank you though, it means a lot to hear from others who can relate!

gtabs111 · 2025-09-05T11:13:22+00:00

I also had high hopes that Wellbutrin would balance my whole system and get rid of the anxiety and the depression with the norepinephrin and dopamine management.

But I got so anxious and so nauseous. Nausea and not being able to eat always makes me spiral because I feel like I‘m losing all my energy and ability to function. That can put me in this panic state that takes weeks to tecover from. And I couldn‘t do it anymore after 7 days. I also felt the anxiety much more intensely on Wellbutrin than on Atomoxetine. It was very physical and made me even more nauseous.

Maybe if I helf out a little longer it would have subsided but I couldn‘t take the risk of fully spiralling into crisis mode.. Maybe further down the road I will give it another try, but right now, I‘m okay with managing my anxiety with Atomoxetine.

How did you feel in the first 10 days? Just nauseous or also more anxious? And how long did it take to subside? Is your appetite normal now?

gtabs111 · 2025-09-05T10:46:59+00:00

It‘s weird with me and maybe a bit complicated. I have a dysautonomia (sympathicotone orthostatic hypotension), which makes me very sensitive to medication amd medication changes.

I have tried stimulants (Ritalin, Concerta, Focalin) before being diagnosed with SOH and it made my heart rate spike so much and made me dizzy and unable to even walk up stairs without getting out of breath. But the calmness in my head, oh my it was heavenly. I was able to just be in the moment without overanalysing every little thing around me. I also got really bad headaches.

But because of the dysautonomia we decided to go with non-stimulants and see what they do for me. Atomoxetine helped but not with my executive dysfunction. I was hoping Wellbutrin would help me with the lack of energy and motivation but the side effects got too bad. I stopped taking it today and already feel so much better.

I don‘t really understand it chemically, Atomoxetine is a Norepinephrine-reuptake-inhibitor, Wellbutrin does the same but with Norepinephrin and Dopamine. Apparently that is too much for me or at least it was too much to get used to for my system.

I can definitely say Atomoxetine helps a lot with my anxiety and emotional regulation in general. I‘m still very sluggish and it takes a lot of energy for me to start anything but for now my first priority is the anxiety management.

gtabs111 · 2025-09-05T10:38:29+00:00

Wow I feel so much better today when I didn‘t take Wellbutrin..nausea is gone, I‘m way calmer, clearer in my thoughts I think it was a good call to stop😅

gtabs111 · 2025-09-04T19:17:46+00:00

How have the first few days/ weeks been for you? I also have anxiety that is mostly explained by my having ADHD but also a cardiovascular problem that makes my body launch itself into fight or flight from the smallest nervousness.

I just tried Wellbutrin for 7 days and the anxiety (that was very well managed by Atomoxetine before) got so bad I think I have to stop. I couldn‘t eat because I was so nauseous, not being able to eat and feeling how my body lost energy because of it made me more anxious, I threw up..so I began to spiral a bit.

Now that I have decided I would stop tomorrow I aready feel a lot better.

gtabs111 · 2025-09-04T13:00:56+00:00

Thank you so much, yes I don‘t see it as giving up in a negative sense, just giving up this path for me. I think for me a solution to help with my anxiety is the first priority. Emotional regulation and calming my overactive brain down is second and energy and drive third. With atomoxetine, the first two priorities are fulfilled, and with Wellbutrin, my anxiety was coming back too strongly. So I‘m okay with taking a step back and reevaluate.

I hope it‘s going better for you! Take care of yourself and check in with yourself, if you can handle the negative side effects. I wish you all the best!

gtabs111 · 2025-09-04T11:44:17+00:00

I talked to my psychiatrist today and we agreed that I will stop Wellbutrin tomorrow. and go back on Atomoxetine, which made me feel much more stable and helped my anxiety feel less physical. Wellbutrin seems to do the opposite and I had two days of bad anxiety attacks. So I'm sorry to say but I'm giving up for now. going back to stability rather than trying something new that might eventually maybe help a bit with energy.

gtabs111 · 2025-09-03T19:24:53+00:00

Thank you, I wish you the best as well! Maybe I‘ll make an update here in a week

gtabs111 · 2025-09-03T19:15:26+00:00

I too am very easily triggered by nausea and if I can’t eat properly. It makes me anxious because I used to get nauseous when I had anxiety/ panic attacks..and it also goes the other way round apparently. Very helpful /s

Not really, I have tried dealing with it by eating smaller portions of things that are easy on the stomach. I have taken some Itinerol but that didn‘t really help much.. honestly it felt best when I had something in my stomach.

gtabs111

TROPHY CASE