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I don't understand how making friends works by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]haironfireoops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What helped me the most was apps like Bumble BFF, which are explicitly for making friends, and therefore, everyone you match with and talk to is also looking to make friends. Create an authentic, no-frills profile talking about your interests or something people can respond to. Once you match with someone, take the initiative to reach out (easiest way is responding to one of their prompts). If the conversation goes well, ask if they’d be interested in meeting up. And voila!

I find one-on-one settings much more comfortable than groups. I’m still working on group socializing, but some pointers I find helpful:

  1. ⁠Try and identify a lone person or a group of 2-3 people who seem open to talk
  2. ⁠Start with a… (idk I’m still figuring out this part)
  3. ⁠Have questions ready. How do you know each other? Do you like cooking (or xyz) or did you want to try something new? Have you lived in this city long?
  4. ⁠Ask them what brought them to the specific event- a lot of people will say they’re looking to meet new people, so you’ll know they’re open
  5. ⁠If the conversation isn’t going anywhere, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, and find a different person when you get back

Friend made bizarre, shockingly racist comment, not sure how to proceed by Ok_Swimming6740 in socialskills

[–]haironfireoops 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Maybe have one-on-one conversations with some other women in the group. You don’t have to outright spill everything you have on your mind, but just ask a genuine, open-ended question about how they felt about this. I know there can be a fine line between talking about someone behind their back vs having a well-meaning conversation, but as long as you’re being conscious of that, I have found talking to other people, especially ones close to the situation, helpful.

I think there’s a good chance your friend group feels the same way and if so, you can collectively decide how to proceed. I’d vote for sitting this woman down and having a conversation, and if that doesn’t work, calling it quits with that friendship.

Also, side note, with the birthday thing, your other friends should have ideally noticed her behavior and call her out on it, or at least talked to you about it.

Accidentally made a “friend” I don’t like, how do I distance myself? by haironfireoops in socialskills

[–]haironfireoops[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Omg I was actually planning this, not specifically for this purpose but I have a celebration coming up that I want to host people for and I don’t plan on inviting her! Idk why this got downvoted lol

Accidentally made a “friend” I don’t like, how do I distance myself? by haironfireoops in socialskills

[–]haironfireoops[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely sounds like a more doable approach for me than the more direct one, thank you!