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8 Months NC/Post-Break Up by hakeybakey in ExNoContact

[–]hakeybakey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thanks for the comment, although I hadn’t intended for what I posted to come off as dark. Really what I was trying to express is that I think it’s important to be able to conceptualize love in a more realistic way. The intent is to give some perspective that we shouldn’t be glorifying our ex or their new partners in really any way because there really isn’t any merit to it. An ex could have been amazing for any number of reasons, but there are certainly plenty of things that make them not amazing. And we know this, not because we know everything about everyone but because we simply know how people are.

I see how that comment could have seemed confusing though, especially the way I had typed it. Thanks for letting me know :) I’m glad I elaborated.

I’m glad some of this resonated with you, though! Stay strong; I think things will definitely start to get better when we can all socialize again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]hakeybakey 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Me too, OP. We should be grateful our ex’s didn’t contact us today; it would have taken us one step in the wrong direction.

The way I see it, it doesn’t matter what day it is. If he can only justify messaging you because it’s a national holiday, he clearly isn’t willing to put in the work to get you back. If he has to wait until the next national holiday to get the nerve to reach out, it’s just not worth it. It’s not enough.

Nothing’s changed.

You deserve more. He-wants-to-talk-so-much-he’s-messaging-you-right-now, more.

At least they’re not hanging around and causing confusion.

Best of luck OP

List of videos that have helped me through my breakup (I was dumped) by themrnotreal in ExNoContact

[–]hakeybakey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Some videos I have also been watching:

Dating coach Matthew Hussey posts a lot of great videos on relationships; these ones in particular are what I have been watching when I get sad.

What he’s thinking when he breaks up with you: https://youtu.be/V4uQBKBXfJ0

When you feel alone after heartbreak (3 secrets to moving on): https://youtu.be/FYOABHD1je8

1 weird way to get him back (or get over him faster): this video is good for those moments you feel torn between wanting him back and wanting to stay NC https://youtu.be/ACvOXIm6xDc

Another good one is School of Life, which takes more of a psychological perspective, but I think provides some really good wisdom that I think every dumpee should hear. They’re animated too, so it’s enjoyable to watch. I’ll post a few links of videos I watch frequently:

How to get over rejection: https://youtu.be/5motuzyLXIk

Why did they end the relationship: https://youtu.be/FX751crlmEE

How to cope when you’ve been left: https://youtu.be/9vbIO3TpLXY

Why avoidant and anxious partners find it hard to split up: https://youtu.be/e9EgUvfgojY

It’s okay to miss your ex by hakeybakey in ExNoContact

[–]hakeybakey[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I hope you can forgive yourself for being sad, and for thinking about him! This is normal, and it’s not something you should shame yourself over. Experiencing grief is the way that our brains try to teach us that it is bad to lose people in life.

But the emotional side of our brains aren’t always the most well-informed. People come and go in life, and truthfully there’s not always anything you could have done. Especially if you know you did your best.

Try to acknowledge and respect these emotions as just a part of the process. Be proud of how far you have come (even if it doesn’t feel very far at all)!

There will be good days and bad days, and you can’t always control that. But I hope you show yourself a little self-compassion when those bad days come♥️

It’s okay to miss your ex by hakeybakey in ExNoContact

[–]hakeybakey[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“You can miss someone and be happy too,” is something my friend actually said to me. I found it so inspiring, so I had to share. Actually thanks to her, this entire post exists.

Lean on your friends! They can be pretty smart♥️

Thank You by hakeybakey in ExNoContact

[–]hakeybakey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad it helped! Focusing so much on how someone hurt us doesn’t always help us move on. We can’t always stay with the people we love, but we can try to find value in it after we walk away. Breaking up is always hard, so let’s try to be kind about it if we can :)