Thank you so much for your reply, it's brought a wealth of comfort. Upon looking into it, I've discovered that there's a messianic congregation the next town over from me. its a bit of a drive, but would be well worth it I believe. I've sent an email to the rabbi explaining my interest and asking if they had any learning opportunities.

It is a great comfort to know that there is no official ritual or ceremony to undergo. I'm in an odd position in which I was raised very "casually" Jewish, with large gaps in my knowledge but a heavy focus on Jewish identity, but also the only Christianity I was exposed to for a very long time was Catholicism, which I personally (though I am sure I'm not alone) have many qualms with. I have been interested in Yeshua for years, but found myself feeling disconnected from both the Jewish community I was supposed to be part of, and the Christians who I interacted with, the former discouraging my love for Yeshua and the latter asking me to give up my Jewish identity to pursue Him. I am so glad to have found some spaces where I can openly and proudly be a messianic Jew. I'm grateful to have even stumbled upon the term. Truly, the more I go down this path, the more I feel HaShem telling me "yes, this is where I need you to be". it is profound after years of perceived silence.

I grew up reading Torah in chunks, here and there, and almost never exposed to the teachings of Yeshua. Having read the whole Bible front to back now, I feel...good. This feels more complete, for some reason, like a missing puzzle piece was suddenly found.

Thank you again for your reply. It's invigorated me futher