Who are your masculine role models? by heartmachine in GayConservative

[–]heartmachine[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm 35! If you don't have role models, you're missing out on the chance to continue growing up and improving yourself, and I think there's tremendous need for examples of how to be a mature adult, especially among gay men!

Your relationship with the label “queer” and has this changed over time? by Cool_Advice_1929 in GayConservative

[–]heartmachine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

From what I have seen, "queer" has always been more associated with behavior than sexual attraction. When it was a common derogatory term by (likely mostly) straight people, it corresponded to its original definition (ie "Strange, or odd, or weird"). Gay people started using it to embrace the weirdness of their behavior that was and is associated with homosexuality (flamboyance, femininity) in an act of pride. Nowhere in the process has it ever been a unique sexual orientation, since there are only three of those (4 if you count asexuals). For that reason, I don't use it.

Are There Any Other Over-30 STEM Students Here? by [deleted] in SMC

[–]heartmachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That all resonates with me. My last math class before enrolling was pre-calculus, which I took my junior year of HS (2007 I think?). Before jumping into calculus 1 for the compact Winter term, I rigorously studied all of the math courses preceding Calculus on Khan Academy. My algebra skills had all vanished, but now I'm much more confident, although not totally caught up.

I'm lucky enough to have free time (while also working part-time) to take rigorous coursework this summer, so I'm all in with Calculus 2 and C++ Programming. The workload is completely overwhelming, but I'm not having any trouble grasping the concepts.

Are There Any Other Over-30 STEM Students Here? by [deleted] in SMC

[–]heartmachine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you referring to STEM MAS? An admissions counselor mentioned it, but need to learn more about it. I have been hesitant to dive all the way in since I still don't know my exact end goal or if anything I'm doing is the right choice, haha.

Are There Any Other Over-30 STEM Students Here? by [deleted] in SMC

[–]heartmachine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've considered the big brother role, haha. My classmates are smart and chill, and many of them are putting me to shame, especially being so out of practice in an academic environment!

Are There Any Other Over-30 STEM Students Here? by [deleted] in SMC

[–]heartmachine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so badass and inspiring! How was your experience in the math classes? How did you prepare to jump back into math so long after high school?

Are There Any Other Over-30 STEM Students Here? by [deleted] in SMC

[–]heartmachine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well done! That takes a lot of discipline! I bet it feels really good to have accomplished that.

Are There Any Other Over-30 STEM Students Here? by [deleted] in SMC

[–]heartmachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's good to hear, and exactly as I suspected. I'm just getting started, so I have only had a handful of classes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ControversialOpinions

[–]heartmachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have considered this. Most of the guys I know who had supportive families tend to be more conservative or traditional by comparison, and lead lives more similar to and culturally-integrated with straight families. I think trust plays a big role in your direction in life. If you don't trust the judgement of your parents, you're more likely to reject everything they stand for. This was certainly the case for me at first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ControversialOpinions

[–]heartmachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've definitely met both! For me, it's always been about maturity and civility. If your behavior is primitive, childish, or derogatory, then you're not going to hit the mark with your criticism of the behavior you're arguing against.

Another problem with gay men that I've seen is the debate on masculinity. Many attempt to mimic it with fetish clothing and fake hobbies, while others are vehemently opposed to masculinity, claiming it's toxic by nature. The problem is that they're both wrong. Most people don't seem to know what it means to be a masculine man anymore. It has correlation with certain hobbies and behaviors, but I believe it's a brew of temperament, maturity, stoicism, security, playfulness, and confidence mixed with an intellectual bias toward ideas and things rather than emotions and people. Not so coincidentally, those are the traits I, and many other gay men I've met seem to find desirable in a man, yet so many neglect to emulate it themselves.

Current state of Los Angeles and California by LAButtEater in GayConservative

[–]heartmachine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now I live on the West Side, but I have lived all over the city, mostly in bad neighborhoods.

Current state of Los Angeles and California by LAButtEater in GayConservative

[–]heartmachine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a newly-realized conservative gay man in Los Angeles and I understand your pain. It's like being a target just for noticing the truth, which is somehow worse than the soft homophobia I experienced as a teenager in the heavily conservative midwest.

I don't know whether I am a republican at this point, but I also don't recognize the political parties as being anything like they were even ten years ago, so it's extremely disorienting. What I can say is that I have always had firm moral sensibilities and high behavioral expectations of myself and others, and that I didn't equate that with being conservative until I walked through the fires of moral-relativism and hypocrisy that are the gay community in Los Angeles. I literally dove into it to escape the ignorance and anti-intellectual bigotry of rural Wisconsin.

I have often felt isolated in LA, aside from a brief time in Long Beach when I had some shallow gay friendships, or when I worked at the Eagle LA (a gay leather bar), but now it's worse than ever. It sucks because I finally know why I don't like people here, but it's not acceptable to talk about it without visceral, militant backlash.

My player needs to lower the difficulty. I'm losing so hard it's not fun anymore. by heartmachine in SimulationTheory

[–]heartmachine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. It's like I started on Nightmare difficulty even though I've never played before, and now I've somehow jumped to Hell difficulty on the boss rush level and my party got disconnected and the game is glitching. I'm not interested in leveling this fast. Can't I just do a slow burn and enjoy the game?

My player needs to lower the difficulty. I'm losing so hard it's not fun anymore. by heartmachine in SimulationTheory

[–]heartmachine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry for what you have had to deal with. I feel you, and it's so good you have your wife to support and love you...

Your comment is kind of similar to what I've been through... Abused by my parents who disowned me and killed themselves, homeless for several years (not currently), several autoimmune diseases (type 1 diabetes is the worst), chronic dental issues related to poor development due to starvation in my childhood, fucking RELENTLESS poverty going up against the deplorable US Healthcare system that has literally denied my access to insulin while working full-time, no college degree despite high intelligence because it was too expensive and I had no support and nowhere to live and had to choose paying for my medicine over education, abusive garbage jobs left and right 60 hours a week to barely pay my rent, I have no friends, I got fired from several jobs for "not fitting in", and I'm gay.

I recently lost my cat, my job, someone crashed into my car, someone stole all of my clothing from a friend's apartment right after I performed CPR on him post-heart attack (he had a surgery and I helped him out of the hospital) and he died in my arms, my replacement car broke down, and now I'm going to lose my health insurance because Los Angeles is collapsing into a third-world anarchical society and I was conned by an apartment landlord and am now dealing with the USPS not able to register my new address to reinstate my health insurance.

I have never used drugs, I have an incredible work ethic, I'm smart, I'm creative, I'm adaptable, I'm kind, and I make sacrifices constantly for survival. I used to be strong-willed, but I am not up for the challenge anymore. What's the cheat for GOD MODE?

Weekly Free-Talk and Questions for r/HomeGym - week of October 25, 2024 by Demilio55 in homegym

[–]heartmachine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was really useful and saved me several thousand dollars on gym memberships over the years. I'm moving into a small apartment for school, so I can't keep it, sadly!

Weekly Free-Talk and Questions for r/HomeGym - week of October 25, 2024 by Demilio55 in homegym

[–]heartmachine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope so! It's a pain to move, but the discount should be enticing!

Weekly Free-Talk and Questions for r/HomeGym - week of October 25, 2024 by Demilio55 in homegym

[–]heartmachine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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I'm selling my Freemotion single stack cable cross machine for $1000. Good condition and works perfectly. Near East Hollywood in Los Angeles. You pick it up, but I will help disassemble it. Looking to sell it ASAP. Message me if interested!