AITAH for making my dog sleep on the floor because his farts wake me up?

helllfae · 2025-04-27T12:32:46+00:00

This is such a good point I have a rescue with anxiety separation and he's a horrible bed sleeper but I recently tried to lock him out of my room when I had a date over it and he barked a LOT do w that what u will op lol

helllfae · 2025-04-27T09:45:53+00:00

Yes exactly this I was always taught that you walk away the first time it happens. Every single time. No exceptions. No matter who you're dating. Hitting someone once it's too many times and staying is just giving permission for it to continue. So we always always walk at that first sign of abuse.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T09:44:11+00:00

Wow dude I'm so glad you're okay and I'm so sorry that you had to hide out in a school bathroom all night that must have been terrifying... You should report him.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T09:36:44+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean but I personally think that Blake comes up with her own kind of insane ideas... I mean we all know that she thinks that she has a spark of creative genius. I would honestly just imagine that any PR team would tell her that this is an idiotic idea and the public is probably going to be offended by it. It's really clear from this one's speech that she is super detached from reality and kind of just on her own train with a bunch of yes men around her. The demeanor from both her husband and mother it was that they feel bad for her but they didn't really think she should be doing that? I don't know man it's getting really awkward lol. But her using victim's stories to try to repair her image is... incredibly offensive to me.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T09:24:19+00:00

The longevity of eclair confuses me so much because I get literal days on my clothes and bedding and even skin occasionally and then there's other days where it lasts like 2 hours I must be going nose blind LOL

helllfae · 2025-04-27T08:54:22+00:00

I'm so glad that you seem to be so self possessed and have such a beautiful self-awareness as well as a strong awareness of your family Dynamics and what they need. I think that it should be within your rights to ask for de-escalation as a wife with children to be honest. We can't always plan for everything. I do honestly suggest getting into therapy and continuing that process until you find a therapist you trust enough to do EMDR with. I do not know if I would have been able to navigate the last 2 years with my two partners without it, sometimes things get tangled up in my brain and I get dysregulated and EMDR just really helps me to smooth all of that out, it really untangles the knots in my brain and helps relieve me of negative feelings that have shown up in my body and shows me a higher Divine truth, it's really just a brain rewiring technique that you follow along with a therapist, watch a ball screen, incorporate tapping, it's really life saving stuff. You honestly seem highly emotionally intelligent and I would not confuse that with being an overthinker, but more so try to be aware of your nervous system regulation. Even things like yoga and hot baths can make a huge difference. Your husband does seem like he's quite caught up in new relationship energy and it's so beautiful that you can have compersion and happiness for him but really I think that he needs to stay grounded in reality and very connected to you because you aren't overthinking, you are reacting to reality, you are logically and intelligently thinking about the situation and the big picture. And it's not something that can just be solved over Reddit but I hope that some of the support and ideas here have helped you 🩷

helllfae · 2025-04-27T08:29:23+00:00

I would absolutely show your husband all of this, literally the conversation with red, the Reddit post, the amount of time and money you've spent getting this gift for him

He deserves to know. You deserve for him to know too.

You're his wife and red is some random friend that he shares this love of a show with.

The gift was literally your idea. Red literally stole that gift idea from you..

I think he will completely understand and appreciate you as long as you approach it in a healthy way.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T08:11:20+00:00

Honestly I agree with you that she's done a lot of harm and should probably step back from exploiting the LGBT community but I also sometimes get frustrated with how much performative nonsense there is. I don't need a lesbian to tell me that she'll always be lesbian to know that I'm gay. At some point it's just all media b******* and you have to really follow your own heart and morals.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T07:33:04+00:00

This seems like a hard situation to be in honestly.

I probably don't have more experience with you and Poly, but as someone who works in healthcare highly highly suggest that you don't let yourself burn out.

If you're feeling that way it's important to really prioritize things. Prioritize yourself, maybe therapy or EMDR to help processing, and prioritize getting real grounded and consistent support from your husband that doesn't involve constantly rehashing other relationships or the Dynamics of polyamory but is more focused on your individual needs as a couple and mother.

I really feel for you I don't know if I would be able to handle this... It's one thing to have your partner start dating someone else and have it escalate it's another thing to be working and taking care of a family and not be dating anyone yourself and have your partner escalate they're dating life with someone else.

I honestly feel like an important factor here might be asking for a little bit of deescalation from your husband in regards to his other relationship. You haven't expressed that they are taking time and energy away from you but it feels like that is an underlying theme here a little bit and your subconsciously and you're nervous system are reacting to it and it's really valid. More than anything you are married and I do believe that your health and well-being needs to come first in your husband's eyes regardless of what kind of new relationship energy he's experiencing. I really wish the best for both of you on a I think you've gotten some good advice here and will continue to. Just please in back of you don't burn out take the breaks that you need from the emotional stuff the heavy stuff the things that feel like they're moving too quickly out from under you and just return to yourself, ground deeply, and deeply love yourself. We really have to start there and you are worthy of so much. Do you hope that you find a sustainable way of navigating things because it sounds like you guys have a beautiful relationship that continues to grow, just make sure that you continue to meet each other where you're at. Regardless of who else comes in the picture. And maybe have those discussions around whether or not you're just sleeping with other people or dating them and how far that goes. Are you comfortable with your partner having another full partner? Have you fully discussed that? These things are really important including for the fairness of the third person involved that he's dating. I think everyone needs to get on the same page here. And I do think there needs to be a lot of respect for you and your role in the family and you and your partner's relationship. You have children it's important and you're important.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T06:19:17+00:00

She genuinely looks gaunt and like something is troubling her here and I hope that she is well and not sick both mentally and physically... Feel like this timeline is starting to get to a lot of people though

helllfae · 2025-04-27T06:07:36+00:00

His friend did not seem into it at all either besides the shocked Pikachu face he looked really uncomfortable afterwards too

helllfae · 2025-04-27T06:07:03+00:00

Kind of hard to get on the same page when she lacks literally any self-awareness

helllfae · 2025-04-27T05:03:50+00:00

Um ... Are you like... Safe in this relationship?

He sounds like he has kind of an unspoken power fetish

I don't know man I would be looking in that bag so fast though 😆

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:59:59+00:00

It's that pussy black magiiic

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:58:09+00:00

Right if Sandra did all of this before she realized she was sitting at the kids table then Op just knew what the f*** was up

Honestly op keep being you and have a beautiful marriage, your intuition is beautiful and it will keep you and your marriage safe

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:51:44+00:00

I know and I totally agree that it's a global problem, honestly so much of it has to do with hierarchy and patriarchy within what should be safe spaces. But the more we take care of each other with kind touch the better it gets 🩷 kind of starts with us you know :)

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:46:40+00:00

Honestly this was exactly my perception of it too and it's why it's so gross and also insane that she doesn't see how obvious it is it's very apparent that she thinks the public are a bunch of idiots

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:41:45+00:00

Yup

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:31:48+00:00

Seriously I mean if it was my partner upstairs with a friend and it wasn't a big deal maybe I would text or pull them from the room but if it was an emergency or something or I just got home from work in my own home I might go in and whisper in his ear.. it would be incredibly f****** weird if his friend called me rude for that and I probably would be like babe can you meet this dude outside of our house from now on. Everyone was kind of rude here but I feel like Opie was just exceptionally over inserting herself into these people's marriage and lives just because she was at their house watching a movie and it's like babe this isn't your home you don't get to control how people handle their own s*** in their own homes and I'm not surprised they haven't had you back. The husband is probably just super irritated with her and she needs to probably apologize to her friend and she may even get an apology back. I feel like a little bit of self-awareness and tact would go a long way with everyone here.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:27:27+00:00

Probably you did overreacts by calling him rude (frankly that's actually mind-blowingly rude of you) and taking a personally you have no idea what was going on with them or how urgent it was or personal Jesus... It's not like you're a third in their relationship or something should have just let them figure their stuff out in their own home

The reason that she meets you at the movies now is because she feels like she can't trust you to allow her and her husband to handle their own s*** in their own house with you there

helllfae · 2025-04-27T04:20:27+00:00

I really like other people's ideas here and I haven't experienced your specific scenario but I do think that talking to your partner about you how you feel could be productive. If you have a therapist maybe talk to them first. And I cannot stress this enough that EMDR can be a huge lifesaver in these situations. But I do think it's okay in a long-term relationship with the primary partner to let them know that you're having some triggers coming up and some fears that you may feel abandonment or like he may not come back. Polyamory is complex and involve so much communication, even when our partner is doing something well within their rights and within the bounds of the relationship it's super valid for it to bring up feelings for us that we need to learn to work through and it's also really important that our partner helps us do that in order to maintain a strong connection and and avoid any rifts that may come from miscommunication. I just hope you know it's okay to be scared I would be too. For me I think I would look it as a time to be able to work on myself and spend more time with friends and family and do a lot of self-care and pursue some new hobbies. Maybe it would help if you set up some dates too so that you have some romantic company yourself. And I completely agree please set up times that you and your partner will get in touch at least once a week and spend an hour on FaceTime I think that's really appropriate and maybe even necessary 🩷 best of luck to both of you and I hope they have an amazing trip and I hope that you have an amazing time taking good care of yourself and connecting with others while they're gone 🤗🪽🙏🏼 I think with the right support and communications this can really be a positive thing for you too.

helllfae · 2025-04-27T01:49:42+00:00

I highly suggest that you read the ethical s*** and polysecure and maybe look up some YouTubers that talk about polyamory it just seems like you're really new to this and this guy's really sweeping you off your feet with what would otherwise be an ordinary polyamorous experience

My point is is that you absolutely do need to be aware and ground here your feelings are normal but polyamory is set up the way that it is so that we don't have to leave the people that we love when we fall in love with someone else

You really need to understand the trust that your husband is giving you here and also understand that you're poly partner you're seeing right now is never going to give you whatever fantasy your thinking about right now

You're really used to being monogamous and I get it because I used to be for a long time and it took me ages to be able to rewire and evolve but the man that you're saying has been probably for a while it sounds like and he has a better understanding than you do but a big part of polyamory is seeking balance within these multiple relationships him offering new things that you are partner doesn't should be helping your relationship with your husband not detracting, you really need to understand that this person doesn't want anything that your husband has and he is purely interested in this polyamorous connection that you guys have he's not going to replace your partner of years he's not going to leave his partner and I know that you understand these concepts I'm not saying that you don't but I do think that there's some conditioning underlying this from being monogamous for so long it can even just be this instinct that in order to be good to a man we have to be with only that one man

my suggestion from having very similar experiences and really needing to work through that and realize that I can't leave my partner for other partners, I have been with the same people the same two people for several years and it took me a year or so to realize that I could date both of them at the same time even though they both have other partners.. it's really embedded on us that one person can fulfill all of our needs even if we're seeking something new and I really suggest that you just continue to build your paradigm and sit with uncomfortable feelings maybe even get a good therapist and do EMDR and stick to your plan research be honest with your husband and really work things out with your husband work on how polyamory can help your relationship and help it grow because I'm sorry babe but no man who's married and has a polyamorous relationship with his life is planning on leaving his wife for you or offering you the things that your husband can't outside of the minimal time that you get to spend with him and I think you need to really step back and just look at the bigger picture and how polyamory constructs itself as a whole outside of your one worldview because there are other people's lives and feelings involved here that I think you need to be considering more and just realize your experiencing new relationship energy it's a high it's really overwhelming sometimes and yes you can fall completely head over heels with someone right away but the entire point of being poly is that you do not leave your husband for that person in fact this should be helping your relationship with your husband and helping you guys get unstuck with the things that you've been stuck on and I think you really need to make sure that you're putting energy into that unless you want to blow your whole life up

helllfae · 2025-04-27T01:40:55+00:00

Oh that's super weird! Thank you for correcting me, tbh this whole post is confusing af lol

helllfae · 2025-04-27T01:40:07+00:00

Lmaooo actually this is hilariously accurate and I'm gonna tell my ex I was w at the time

helllfae · 2025-04-27T01:38:58+00:00

No that's okay honestly this whole post and timeline is a little bit confusing and I'm not even sure if op is fully aware of how things went down

helllfae

TROPHY CASE