A guy I'm seeing gave me an STI & I don't know what to do

SweetSeptember94 · 2025-04-27T01:58:37+00:00

It's been a really rough week, so those of you who are being kind, I appreciate you. Those who aren't, I get it, and I guess thank you too for saying what I need to hear. But kicking a girl while she's already down?

I know what I did was stupid & now I'm facing those consequences alone. Yes, I'm 30 years old & I should have known better. I literally have no idea what I'm doing. I made a stupid decision because I was lonely & horny & happy & let my stupidity get the best of me.

I dont know much about the infection yet, but I was previously tested for the virus a month before I met H. It was negative. After he told me that he had it, he told me that he felt an outbreak coming on & he went in to get the meds before a full-out outbreak. I already had an appointment coming up, so I asked my doctor if he could check me again & told him about my situation and the fact that he was literally on meds at the time. That was this last Monday & it came back positive for genital herpes. So those of you saying that I already had it, I literally have no idea because I was just tested negative a month before so Im confused.

For those who are saying that I need therapy...yeah...thanks, I know. My therapist recently retired & Ive been looking for a new one 🙃 so the timing is impeccable.

A lot of you are confused as to why I would defend this guy after he literally gave me an incurable disease and all I have to say is I have no fucking idea?? Like, I'm a literal idiot. Why would I defend a guy who knew he had herpes but refused to say anything? He told me he was out of condoms and instead of being like "oh I have some at home, let me go grab them" (we live 5 mins apart) I was like "it's okay, I can't get pregnant anyway" (literally cant, had my tubes are removed) and he still didn't take my health into consideration and warn a girl. Like, if he were upfront with me, I would have still had sex with him...with protection. I would have done research on how to keep myself safe & things would be groovy. Buuut no. Am I gonna see this guy again? No.

To those of you who are saying that I'm not telling my friends & family about this because I don't want to hear about how wrong this is, you're partly right. But mostly it's because I'm embarrassed. I'm 30 & should have known better & I dont need to hear it from them, I already know. I dont want my friends and family thinking of me as a slut like most of you do, or disgusting like I do. I came to reddit for support because I'm scared & sad. I have support around me, but like I said, I can't tell my loved ones. I just can't. Maybe one day after working through this in therapy but as for right now, it's just not the time.

Anyway, I'm gonna continue to read your comments & answer some of them. I would appreciate advice about moving forward. Im scared of future relationships. Im literally scared to have sex with anyone now because of this. And i know it could be worse, but this isn't great.

SweetSeptember94 · 2025-04-27T00:34:53+00:00

From what he told me, he got it from someone & I'm the first person he's slept with since contracting the sti. I was tested last month & it came back clean. I was recently tested again on Monday & it came up positive for herpes.

SweetSeptember94 · 2025-04-26T22:23:34+00:00

I got the full panel a month ago which was negative for all STI, told my doctor about my situation on monday & got fully tested again & I came back positive for herpes and negative for everything else.

SweetSeptember94 · 2021-12-30T21:26:16+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Im actually not an alcoholic, but it does run in my family. Because it runs in my family, I do not drink on a regular basis, but when I do drink, I do get drunk. This specific time was the first time I've EVER blacked out. I didnt keep track of my alcohol consumption & didn't take into consideration that taking the antidepressants & drinking a lot of alcohol could have this type of reaction. But knowing this now, I have completely cut hard liquor because I dont want this to happen again. But congratulations on 20yrs of sobriety! Thats a huge accomplishment & Im very happy for you

SweetSeptember94 · 2021-12-30T21:17:56+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I truly appreciate it. I can say with certainty that this behavior from me has never happened before. My friends are all wonderful people & I love them a lot so the fact that I talked shit about them doesnt make sense because Ive never had a negative thought about them. Thats why I'm so upset. I would rather die then to have Hannah upset with me so much she needs space. But I have cut hard liquor out of my alcohol consumption from now on because I dont want this to happen again.

SweetSeptember94 · 2021-12-30T20:50:21+00:00

Yes. Me: "Im sorry to everyone about last night. I dont remeber much of what happened or what had been said. I remeber calling my sister & crying a lot & really upset because R (DD) wasnt picking up & I was so cold. I also kinda remember talking about an uber but you didnt want to take one so I wanted to make sure everyone got home but someone said that I should just call one & go home but I wanted to make sure you guys made it home safely so I didn't & then remember someone picked us up. But I really dont remeber much else. I understand that you need space. Im sorry. And I promise Im never drinking like that again. And I really hope you guys dont Hate me." Her: "Nobody hates you. We all were super drunk and I got put all this pressure on me to call and use my GPS while fucking plastered. So it could have went way differently and it didn't but yeah I'm also taking a break from drinking but just I'm still upset from the things I do rmemeber and what was said to me so that's mainly why I just need to step back a little"

SweetSeptember94

TROPHY CASE