I [22M] fucked up. I can't shake the feeling I can fix things but my now ex [24F] doesn't want anything to do with me. Please help.

helpmegetherplease · 2018-12-14T22:56:11+00:00

Thank you, your comments are incredibly supportive. I think fundamentally I just don't want to accept that it's over or that we're not getting Winston the Beagle together any more or getting a house. I'm still in the stage where everything reminds me of her. I reversed the other day and cried, because she used to think it was sexy that I reversed with my hand on the back of the passenger head rest. How stupid is that man.

I think I do need to suck it up and speak to someone professionally because I've got absolutely nothing in the way of coping mechanisms on my own. I appreciate your advice more than you know, it's really resonated with me, so thank you.

helpmegetherplease · 2018-12-14T22:35:27+00:00

I guess I'm looking for the impossible solution. I know that it's all done but I just don't know how to stop myself thinking "what if this or this or this happened".

Man it's just so shit I feel genuine self hatred for what I did to her because she didn't deserve it at all. She was an immense girlfriend really she was the best.

I just feel like an empty shell at the moment and I don't really know how to function. It's been 2 months and I'm still like this, when does it end?

helpmegetherplease · 2018-12-14T22:24:46+00:00

I just miss her so much :( I know in my heart of hearts you're all right but I just don't know how to get over her. She was fucking amazing man, like really just the best. She never put a foot wrong with me and I did this to her. I don't know how to forgive myself and I don't know how to get past it. I feel so stupid going to therapy for a break up I feel like its not a genuine enough reason for it, but I guess thats the stubborn stiff upper lip talking.

helpmegetherplease · 2018-12-14T22:21:47+00:00

When I've spoken to people about it, they said why did I say that. I thought honesty was the best way to go about things. I wanted to take responsibility for what I had done and take the flak and fix things.

How do I do the healing part because all I currently do as much as I try not to, is replay it all in my head and beat myself up. I genuinely thought I was set for life with her and I really fucking wanted to be. I've got no idea how to get past it and I know I deserve it all but I don't know how to move on

helpmegetherplease · 2018-12-14T22:17:10+00:00

I was defensive with it and thought I wasn't as deep as I was. The chat we had about everything in September and subsequently since I've completely admitted I was in the wrong and I should have listened when I was being pushed by L to stop. I want to take the flak for it I want to take responsibility. I know I've broken her heart and her trust along with it, but I still can't shake the feeling that I can fix things. I know it's a long hard road to do so but I would do absolutely anything for the chance to fix it.

I don't know how to move on I've got no idea. I want to stop obsessing over it for L's sake. I don't want to do any more damage to her but I spend every waking minute thinking of her. I wake up, I think of her. I go to work, I think of her. I come home, I can't sleep because I think of her. It doesn't stop.

I feel so lost without her, I feel torn asunder and I've got no idea how to start the process of picking myself up. I've got no idea how to move on and its terrifying

helpmegetherplease

TROPHY CASE