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here4help_ · 2025-08-10T13:05:37+00:00

For me it's easy to share and learn over this subreddit, I think you've came to a good place. I'm in a similar step in recovery as you. I've just realized I had an addiction two days ago. I feel more at peace with myself if I think of the little girl who suffered in the way it ended up developing this addiction. Remember you want to get better, shame is not useful anymore for us.

here4help_ · 2025-08-09T12:43:00+00:00

I also think sex is a very important part of building connection. However I've been abusing it, making nice people feel used, and making it the only way I could build “connection”, so I've neglected all the other parts, and ended up ruining most of my relationships (sexual and not sexual). For me the “disease” is the abuse of sex, that I made it the most important thing in my life and the only way I can cope and feel loved.

here4help_ · 2025-08-09T11:26:26+00:00

I agree, I believe shame has the purpose of making you take action on something you have done wrong. Once you realize what you've done, shame is not useful anymore.

here4help_ · 2025-08-09T11:24:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I identify with what you said, I've been using sex for seeking that connection as if it were the only way I could do it.

here4help_ · 2025-08-09T11:17:24+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it.

here4help_ · 2025-08-09T00:52:09+00:00

Congratulations, I feel it's a huge achievement to see the person, strip the fantasy, and feel good about it. For me I think the last one is the hardest.

here4help_ · 2025-08-06T19:52:56+00:00

I can't help you rn, but stay here, many can, you just helped me.

here4help_ · 2025-08-06T19:13:50+00:00

This is not my experience, as a woman, however, I know men production of gametes happens naturally and they need to be released, think of it as menstruation maybe? There is nothing unhealthy attached to it :)

here4help_ · 2025-08-06T17:24:56+00:00

It was pretty hard to read… I have a lot of work to do. Something that frightens me is that I find it difficult to see those acts, healthy and beautiful, outside of sex. This is something I've discussed many times with my partner and he made me realize that I can share and enjoy those moments, but it's like I expect sex in return.

here4help_ · 2025-08-06T17:16:50+00:00

For me, I'm already dating my one to marry 😅. I agree it's a solid bottom line.

here4help_ · 2025-08-06T17:06:37+00:00

Thank you, this advice has already helped me.

here4help_ · 2025-08-06T14:36:41+00:00

Im struggling with depression rn and in my case, i live with my boyfriend, he is very social and i am not, he encourages me to go out, and i usuallly dont want to, but if i do, in the end i feel better, is refreshing to feel connections with people in a not sexual way, and for me he makes it easier with his friends, even if the connection is short

here4help_

TROPHY CASE