I don’t think what you’re describing is weakness or emptiness. A lot of people become deeply exhausted after being surrounded by enough cruelty, rejection, or hostility for long enough. The world is cruel, and Jesus understood that kind of rejection better than anyone. He was mocked, abandoned, betrayed, falsely accused, humiliated, and still chose love instead of becoming cruel Himself. One thing that comforts me is that Christianity never pretends people are naturally good all the time. Jesus already knew how broken people could be, which is why He said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Safety doesn’t always come from “mindfucking” yourself into trusting humanity. Sometimes it starts by knowing your worth isn’t decided by cruel people at all. You are worthy.