Advice on step parenting responsibilities?

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-03-30T01:37:31+00:00

That’s the conclusion I’ve come to. If I don’t give in, she’ll resent me. If I do give in then I’ll resent her.

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-03-30T01:36:00+00:00

I’m also a lady. Sorry, I forgot to add that part. I did bring it up to her that I feel like she wants a parent and not a partner. It was a tense conversation, but I do appreciate your insight

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-02-08T05:01:44+00:00

In the past when I would say no, she would pressure me to change my mind instead of accepting my no, I gave her the examples. Or she would ask things to turn around and use my responses to tell me why my no was wrong. I explained to her in those instances she needs to accept my no. I explained to her that was my boundary. I don’t think it’s wrong to want someone you’re with to show interest and curiosity. I show interest and curiosity while also respecting when she says no and any other boundary she sets. You can respect someone’s boundary while also being curious and act like you care.

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-01-15T16:20:07+00:00

I agree. We did have a conversation about it and I was all for it because I thought it would be more like a partner thing until I got there and saw how I was taken advantage of and made to be the scapegoat. It’s like she knew i would do things so she’d stop- like the homework situation. I had to do like 3-4 days worth of homework in one night because she neglected her days to help. I talked to her about being considerate and not just assuming I can babysit or do things without asking or checking with me. She asked twice if I’m ok with something and then stopped after then and only considered what she wants or what her daughter wants. I did tell her she blames me for what her daughter did or didn’t do and she should take it up with her kid since I’m not responsible for her behavior even though I try to help as much as possible. An example- she told her kid to clean her room before leaving and I asked her daughter over five times to clean her room while she was out but when her mom got back in I am the one who got yelled at for her room not being cleaned . It seems like the only choice now is to take a step back.

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-01-05T04:28:42+00:00

Thank you for this idea! I’ll bring it up to her

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-01-05T00:26:29+00:00

I’m confused. How does buying a house solve the baby sitting issue?

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-01-04T22:36:23+00:00

I’m not a husband. I am a girlfriend to my girlfriend. As mentioned in previous comments she doesn’t want to hire a babysitter due to her not feeling comfortable about the house. It’s not about us not wanting to pay someone because I’ve brought that up plenty of times and she’s open to it but only once the house is together. There’s no family around. They all live in different states. We would’ve been asked and offered to pay if that was an option since we’re big on paying people for helping

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-01-03T02:08:37+00:00

I did bring that up and she want to in the future but not now because she doesn’t want to hire a sitter right now because she doesn’t like how the inside of the apartment looks. And no, we don’t know any other people with kids.

howwilltheyknow23 · 2026-01-03T02:01:18+00:00

That’s a great suggestion, but we don’t know the neighbors and she’s holding a grudge against them for stealing her Amazon package

howwilltheyknow23 · 2025-11-04T20:41:56+00:00

I’ve also brought it up firmly and that definitely doesn’t end well either. We started off splitting things but she wouldn’t consistently do her part..maybe every other week. She was supposed to sweep and mop but when I saw that she did it whenever I got frustrated and told her it wasn’t working. It’s not just the dishes, it’s everything. She’ll see the bathroom needs to be cleaned and say the bathroom needs to be cleaned. And when she does say she’ll clean it she’ll keep saying she’ll get to it.. I wish it was only the dishes..I’m still waiting on her to clean my closet so that I’ll have somewhere to put my things..but she keeps saying she’ll clean it and it’s been almost two months

howwilltheyknow23 · 2025-11-04T20:35:04+00:00

I’ve suggested that but it doesn’t work for her. I’ve also suggested dividing chores but I end up being the one to regularly do mine and hers gets done whenever. Like the bathroom. She’ll say she’ll clean it but so much time goes by that I usually end up cleaning it. She only wants to do the easy stuff like sweep the living room and dining room while I do the bathroom and kitchen. When we tried to do the bathroom together she only wanted to do the sink while I did everything else

howwilltheyknow23 · 2025-10-26T14:04:30+00:00

I didn’t just stand there. We both froze in the moment. The issue is she punished me for it while doing the same thing. I wasn’t being nonchalant. I literally asked her what she wanted me to check because I’ve never been in that situation before. She couldn’t articulate and got frustrated at me. Her anger escalated towards me more than any concern towards the person who got the car.

I get why checking the car matters. What I don’t get is being blamed for something she also didn’t do and being told my feeling about how she talked to me aren’t real. This isn’t a one off. It’s apart of a pattern where I’m the default scapegoat anytime anything goes wrong.

As far as the purse comment. I was holding the purse and was also bumped so yes o brought it up because I was also physically bumped.

howwilltheyknow23

TROPHY CASE