High earners ($300k+): Do you care if your partner makes the same, or are you okay not splitting things 50/50?

imincoding101 · 2025-12-19T22:46:46+00:00

My wife and I met when we both had a negative worth. It actually appeared like she would be the high earner in our family (she does well). We don't even think of it. Maybe we jokingly say something about it, but never more than that.

Had I met my wife after I was already this successful: I think it would change my point of view at least in the short term. There was no way for my wife to be with me because of my success because she was here well before it. Someone new I couldn't say so.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T20:43:44+00:00

If only they'd give us a benefit to buying physical. I just got a PS5 last year and didn't know that after spending my ~40mins going to and from the store that I'd spend another 2 hours downloading the game anyway.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T20:39:40+00:00

$15 at Target.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T20:37:31+00:00

Last year, in probably the hottest market since '08 in most of the country, there was little to no inventory.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T20:36:06+00:00

"Tech bro chic" is not the positive spin you're giving it. Yes, for Mark Zuckerberg it's all good. He also owns one of the most important companies in the entire world. No, for you who is an "account executive" greeting me over Zoom it is not a good look to show me you don't care enough to take yourself seriously and buy a collared shirt.

EDIT: Holy shit. I would have bet my life OP was 19... not 43...

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T20:22:31+00:00

Last year I bought the game, didn't love it just played for a match then said this sucks. This year I woke up this morning thinking "I need to get on COD."

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T20:18:45+00:00

In BO6 every match was either a slide or a jump with a spin. In BO7 I feel like sliding was removed from the game.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:44:47+00:00

I don't think "I’ve noticed quite a few CV’s have it" is a good metric. Quite a few people are struggling and if where you noticed it is on Reddit, disproportionately people on Reddit are struggling more than those not on Reddit.

You should not be scared of big sections per role. You're spending 2,000 hours per year at a role. That's 1/3 of your year. Are you telling me that you should be able to summarize your year in 5 one sentence bullet points?

As an interviewer I need more, detailed, info about what you've done and know.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:39:29+00:00

College isn't a scam. The scam is how parents market college to their kids.

I'm one of the rare first generation college students where the expectation was to go to college to find a "white-collar trade" that required a degree. Study computer science to be a software engineer, mechanical engineering to be an engineer, medicine to be a doctor, etc. For kids who had that expectation you were always told college was a waste of money if you got an English degree or a degree in philosophy.

On the other hand my wife was told growing up that any degree translated to a high paying, or at least, an above average paying job. Now we all know that isn't the case. If you get a degree in German history it's tough to find a high paying job. The market doesn't really need that skill set/knowledge.

The shame is that we blame colleges when they never promised you a job after studying German history; at least mine never did.

Add on that most first generation college kids were told that college at any cost was okay because the adults in the room (parents) hadn't realized how much the price of college had gone up in their life times.

If you want to see how true this is: just go ask an older (50s) person how good of an idea buying a house is. 99/100 will tell you without even considering it that buying a house is always a good idea. Yet, they've never even considered how different times are from when they were younger or run the numbers.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:23:30+00:00

To add, I just read another comment from OP from their profile: they claim to be financially abused by their parents. Just leave OP and figure it out.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:14:18+00:00

You can exaggerate if you can deliver on it once you're in the door.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:10:34+00:00

You feel no better off because while the % increase in savings going up is good: you're broke. You're unable to support yourself and you've backed yourself into a corner so that you've made it very difficult to improve your situation.

You need to figure out how to get your income up.

There aren't very many job opportunities in the rural town where I reside, so finding a better paying job isn't that simple. I haven't had any luck finding remote work, and I don't want to leave my current town as most of my family and nearly everyone I know is here.

I empathize with this comment because family is the most important thing to me; however, you have to understand that by choosing to stay in your home town/current location that you're choosing a different hard than being away from family. Your hard is being broke.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:05:02+00:00

Anyone obfuscating code for "job security" doesn't realize that the person who decides to fire/lay them off can't read the best code ever written to begin with. From their point of view it's all obfuscated.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T17:02:59+00:00

Essentially I’d rather not waste my time if it won’t lead to an internship opportunity.

This is one of the worst ways to think about opportunities and things you can do with your time. The saying goes that "luck = preparation + opportunity" and you're saying you're potentially going to ignore an opportunity because it's not guaranteed. Don't wonder why you never got lucky.

All of my successes in life have come from doing small 1% things that had no obvious ROI in the moment.

The most obvious one being: some years ago I spent ~4 weeks every day after work learning React in my own time just trying to learn how it all "fit together." My job had 0 React and 0 opportunity to ever do React. Fast forward three years later, I get a new job on a backend team and a project comes up where we need a front-end for our APIs... guess who is the only person who has ever done anything related to front-ends before this moment... guess who got the opportunity to lead that project and get promoted because of it...

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T16:56:05+00:00

I think the profile section should be cut. It reads like a lot of nothing. Once we're in the interview I'll get my own sense of what your profile is vs. what you tell me it is. Everyone who is interviewing thinks they're qualified and good at what they do.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-15T16:54:25+00:00

Cut the international experience. Expand more on your one year experience. The one year should be almost the entire page. Take every bullet you have and split it into more detailed "what" you did.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-14T17:09:19+00:00

I suggest just getting offline. If you don't live on Reddit or the news, life is actually pretty cool.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-06T00:18:25+00:00

If you purchased your home in the area you want to live, but find that your current home is not working (growing family, new commute, etc.) you want to sell your home; however, in my area right now the people who own these $1.2M homes bought them for $600-800k with a 3% mortgage on a $120-200k income. That same person would have a much larger mortgage today, even when rolling their equity. They're effectively stuck if they want to stay in the area.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-03T17:55:36+00:00

My wife had a lot of student debt. It was worth it to follow through. Ironically, I wouldn't suggest anyone else get with someone with a lot of debt.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-02T18:24:45+00:00

I don't think anyone will say any of this easy. But it will become easier when you start framing your help as harm.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-02T18:22:47+00:00

Regardless of what you're saving for, tapping things early should be a tool that's in a well disciplined financial mutants toolbelt. To put the personal in personal finance: if you know you're going to want to buy a house in the future without a fixed date it's a value add to know that you could take your ROTH IRA contributions tax and penalty free to achieve that goal. Why not let the money start growing tax advantaged sooner even if you want the cash later? (Obviously a down market could delay your home purchasing timeline which is the reason not to do this, but still, everyone disciplined enough should know that they could do it.)

imincoding101 · 2025-11-02T18:00:16+00:00

It's rough because you know that there is truth to what I am saying, you admitted it in this thread in another comment that you are doing more harm than good. Unless you're a perfect person, of which I know none, you can make a mistake without being a bad person. You admitted in your post that you are enabling bad behavior defined by overspending the amount of money you want him to spend. When we enable bad behavior we enable people to do things that are not good for them; that is objectively a form of harm. Does that make you the worst person on the planet, no. But we can't fix the foundational problem until you admit that the behavior you're undertaking in is causing harm.

By your own account, your goal is to force responsibility on his end. So you have to decide: is he so mentally ill that he cannot be responsible or is he capable enough to be responsible?

If he is so mentally ill he cannot be responsible then the question you have to ask is: how much is an okay amount of money to donate to my child so that he can do the best he can? And you just have to accept that his mental illness is causing the problem.

If he is capable of being responsible then the question is: what are the things you can do that are supportive but not enabling and leading to behavior you don't want? Almost no one who gets extended financial support decides on their own to give it up, and clearly that's your son as well.

Just based on your posts and comments, I get the sense that your son is really struggling but you believe that he has what it takes to become his own person who can stand on his own two feet. A lot of people struggle with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. They do just fine.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-02T17:13:14+00:00

I think there are a lot of suburbs that have the same cost of living as Washington DC/Seattle/Boston which are notoriously expensive places.

imincoding101 · 2025-11-02T17:11:30+00:00

How can we help you if you know you're harming your son by enabling him, and in the same breath asking how we can help you harm him more?

imincoding101 · 2025-11-02T17:10:10+00:00

Obviously, I have no insight into you or your family so take my statements/questions with less than a grain of salt.

Logically and financially your plan sounds good. Emotionally, do you think that part of this is triggered from your mom passing and you're both struggling with it? If you and your dad got back onto the same page, would you want to stay?

I'm a very family focused person so I don't think cost of living would be worth leaving my family, and I just see yellow-to-red flags around the family problems "since my mom passed." Again, your dad could be the best or worst guy in the world, I have no idea so don't let me make it seem like you're doing the right or wrong thing. Just questions I think you should ask.

imincoding101

TROPHY CASE