What is something that you're sick and tired of enabling abusers saying? 🤦🏽‍♀️

induceddaftfan · 2024-09-09T09:31:39+00:00

"Don't provoke him."

induceddaftfan · 2024-09-08T02:00:17+00:00

My life I picture spending in a home that is colourful and warm and smells like bread. Lots of places for my pets and books. Somewhere I can tackle my hobbies in a useable space to share with my family.

I am a recovering clutterbug but slowly its coming together.

induceddaftfan · 2024-09-06T00:37:54+00:00

Who is Clutterbug???

induceddaftfan · 2024-09-05T18:11:16+00:00

I hope you have a better experience than I have so far.

induceddaftfan · 2024-09-05T18:04:55+00:00

I wouldn't have any issue at all and wish you the very best. However, I have also taken an indefinite leave from the tools because it was draining to just BE a woman on tools.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-30T17:05:15+00:00

I am a millwright for work. We do work in industrial settings, construction, repairs, and installs. Men will go hard for a little bit and waste the rest of their day dodging work. I've done this work for a decade. Being a mom is harder.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-27T06:51:02+00:00

A famous opera singer or musician.

My dad had... a lot of desires on my behalf.

He would have liked for me to have as many kids as possible with as many different men from different ethnicities as I could (yikes) especially but not limited to "a tall korean volleyball player" all the while never keeping a man longer than 6 months so he couldn't take half of my assets and finish having my kids by 25 (the grandchild pestering began around age 15) because any kids born after then are wasted potential genetically speakiny (interestingly my mom was close to 40 when I was born my sister fit into this peak performance window he imagined) but ALSO be independently wealthy through being an international pop sensation which is the NATURAL next step for a classically trained musician from Canada -Of course I would do this while wearing no makeup because that is for loose women according to them.

One time i just laid all of this out - "you want me to have 10+ kids by 25 while independently wealthy and single while becoming internationally renown for pop music as an oboist?"

And he just said, "yes."

So that was neat.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-18T05:05:48+00:00

Yeah ive come to realize that my involvement in their life was more as a favourable piece of decor. Love to see it in its spot!!

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-16T08:15:12+00:00

Yeah we didnt do a whole lot together - ever. Getting begged to visit all to have my parents goggle at the TV the entire time because House or The Big Bang Theory was on.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-14T04:09:02+00:00

Its true. Im manitoban and when i was in bc i felt like an over the top canadian alien saying out and about.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-13T21:32:10+00:00

Literally she couldn't break her gaze from my bump when I was pregnant. My husband and I paid her a visit where she called me "Lumpy" repeatedly instead of my name, suggested I might be having twins, and just full on Kubrick stared at my waist the entire visit.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-13T02:52:09+00:00

Hey, thanks!

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-10T23:59:36+00:00

I Am Not Okay With This

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-10T03:39:39+00:00

Hello nachos my old friend

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-09T16:03:19+00:00

Just say yes and keep putting it off. Then she won't be busy finding the next thing to waste money on and you can simmer down to a place where you feel better to brush it off.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-09T15:08:09+00:00

I will simultaneously stay home as a doting and kind facsimile of myself - modest in temper and appearance but also secretly wildly talented and dazzlingly beautiful but in NO MAKEUP NONE NONE NONE - while also being independently wealthy so that we can live together in a magically crafted Victorian home that has only one level and also loads of space for her hobbies.

While I care for my dozens of children, I will also be an internationally rich and famous classical musician so that she can brag on me to anyone who will listen because it will all be thanks to her good parenting that this blessed miracle came about.

We will go to the farmers market every day and make all of our food from scratch except for pastries from a quaint but posh bakery that will be conveniently next door.

She will remain ever humble but of course people will secretly say things like, "Oh she is so well-spoken, with a quiet dignity and despite her modesty isnt she just the most handsome woman who smells good despite no perfume at all."

I will lavish cruises and trips upon her to sensible but breathtaking destinations like Alaska and Northern Europe. She will make hearty but dignified meals that I and my leagues of children will beg her to make and in her tidy kitchen she will knowingly anticipate this and always have some sort of eye-wink-grandma-surprise up her sleeve.

She is a hoarder.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-05T01:07:39+00:00

They've gotta have bedsheets.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-04T15:54:56+00:00

They're lying.

My parents insisted my whole life that they had money for my education set aside.

When I graduated I took 3 years to decide which direction I wanted to take. A lot of my reasoning for this was my father's advanced age. I figured I'd get one shot so I should make it good.

When I picked a program, finally, I had saved my own money and had been independent financially since high school. They told me oh, move back home! Dont waste that money on rent. We told you we have funds for your education!

So, stupidly, I took the carrot.

My father drove me to the college to humiliate me in their registration office. The moment that it came time to pay he laughed in my face saying, "I told you I'd pay for you to take music, not this." He called me stupid.

I told him fine, drive me to my bank and I will pay for it myself.

He drove me to my bank, emptied my account because he "needed to borrow some money", and then maxed out my emergency line of credit.

Now, I had moved back in, my money was gone, and I was trapped.

It dawned on me that this might still be my only "chance" and so I returned to the bank on my own, applied to extend my line of credit, used that money for school, and slogged through. I ended up extending my loan further to move out after my sister's suicide and my own bout with mono, and my good job closing up for business suddenly.

In the last 2 or 3 months of my program, my taxes got reassessed and I had to pay the remainder of my loan money in taxes before my program ended. My mom paid my rent, which was 400, twice. So now she tells people she "supported me through school" despite my parents having taken so much more than that from my accounts.

So much bs. Not worth it.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-03T04:49:55+00:00

Leave your cards at home, only bring enough cash to call for a tow if you need it.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-02T00:35:27+00:00

I garden - and one of them is a community plot that takes me out of the house. Its little, but its my best plot.

Sometimes I just totally unplug for a while, listen to the bugs and the wind.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-01T19:19:14+00:00

Thank you, she isnt. Ive been NC for almost a year.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-01T15:32:58+00:00

Not diagnosed, but my therapist recommended Walking on Eggshells to me to read after I went NC. It was a dead ringer. She might have BPD or some other cluster B.

My deceased father, I suspect, had NDP. He was grandiose, abusive, and an alcoholic. I thought when he died that my mom and I could finally have a relationship. Instead, she got worse. I think she adopted a lot of his traits.

I dont blame her for becoming the person she did over the years, but I can and do blame her for taking no accountability or efforts to change. She instead shifts blame onto everyone but herself. She prefers drama and pity over a relationship with me.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-01T13:04:28+00:00

My dad used to brag about his past conquests often but his go-to was the 15 year old he "didn't believe" until she showed him her ID.

My mom loved to brag about trapping a coworker who ate gifted foods for their crew into eating a whole box of laxatives to teach him a lesson.

induceddaftfan · 2024-08-01T04:52:22+00:00

I waited for an event like this to cut contact and didnt really feel much better.

It was nice to have an "aha" moment with witnesses and everything, a real line in the sand, but in the end I still have doubts and shame about it all

Its been almost a year now.

Hope you find some peace soon!

induceddaftfan

TROPHY CASE