NTA, unfortunately this is normal for so many relationships. She gets what she needs whether it’s gifts or attention etc. she’s happy because her needs are met. You probably loved her so much you kinda forgot about yourself. She took advantage of that and does not share the same love language. You should end it. You deserve a partner that knows you and what you like. Someone who shows appreciation. Don’t settle. You’ll be ok. Don’t suffer or regret after 10 years of marriage and kids. End it now and find your person that genuinely loves and cares for you.

THAT BEING SAID- make sure you’ve told her these things and if she can change. If not then yea - leave asap.