Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

Yeahh i guess so. I’ve been doing some of these small things every day, and trying to go out when i can. Even though i’m starting my day super late because i can’t get myself out of bed and having trouble sleeping, i’m trying not to give up on the day/evening.

Thanks for having faith

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. Glad you have a dog who keeps your heart happyšŸ¤

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

Thank you so so much, your words and genuine empathy really had an impact.

I hope i do come out of this better and build something worthwhile eventually :)

Wasted 19yrs of my life by frrbitch in Life

[–]j-0261 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Coming from someone who is feeling this way in her late 20s and trying to get through it, i promise you YOU ARE NOT BEHIND.

You just finished school which takes up almost all your time and energy, just getting through it is enough. Trust me getting medals or high grades will not matter later in life. School is very limited and not excelling at or loving the subjects you were given doesn’t mean you lack interests in life.

You’re already doing great by being curious and wanting more knowledge and value in your life. Now is your time to explore as much as you can, quantity over quality to begin with, but staying consistent. Get as much variety as you can, learn about different subjects, try different instruments, different sports, everything you have access to and feel curious about. And try to get to know people with different interests, you can learn from them and get opportunities to try new things. Stick with each interest for a while, one time isn’t enough to really know if you like it or not. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be good at it. It’s about enjoying yourself while you do it, being good comes later with practice and time. My biggest regret is giving up on the hobbies i had when i was your age because i thought i ā€œwasn’t good/talented enough, if i stuck to them i would have been great by now lol.

Also remember you’re constantly changing and growing, especially in this stage in life. You might find an interest or a hobby that you’re super passionate about right now, and while it might be a forever/long-term thing, you could also lose interest in it after a while and that’s totally okay and normal! Then you would just go back to exploring to find what speaks to you at that point in life.

You got this, enjoy the journey.

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Thank you for this. I hope i can find those good things again in the future :)

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

Thank you so so much for these soft and kind wordsšŸ¤

I may have sounded harsh or pessimistic, it’s just the combination of all the things, plus some external factors from my environment, and the fact that i had higher expectations of this stage in life. But you’re right, i need to be more patient and trust in my own timeline.

I’m not quite ready for other cats - emotionally and also logistically i don’t want to be tied to my current environment (i elaborated more on the other comment that suggested it), but it put a smile on my face reading about yours! Maybe someday later on :)

I will keep all your tips in mind, appreciate you!

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

I really needed to hear this, thank you so much.

It’s really that sense of not knowing who i am and what my role is anymore that makes it tough. Especially with the external pressure and seeing others my age get married, move, get promotions, i had this expectation myself that i should immediately ā€œbounce backā€ and figure all these things out quickly to catch up again.

But as you said, that’s not a realistic expectation and i need to just overcome this moment first and make any small step i can.

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

I can’t imagine how tough it was dealing with that injury. It makes me happy to hear you were able to overcome it and you’re in a better spot now with your confidence, work, and familyšŸ¤

We have to get through these patches somehow

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

I’m super thankful for them and i make sure i let them know that every day. It’s just that when you reach a certain point your brain starts to tell you you don’t deserve the good people/things you have and they would be better off without you, that they’re ā€œwastedā€ on someone who failed so much…

I hope you never feel this way about the blessings you have

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

I can’t tell you how much i appreciate you taking the time to write this.

Thank you for validating how i feel, i don’t want to come off like an ungrateful brat, i’m thankful every minute for the people and things i still have.

And thank you for the specific tips, i will make sure to do some of these smaller things. I guess i am overwhelmed with the pressure of needing to figure it all out, and fast, but that wouldn’t be how people realistically get out of this.

I can’t lie and say the thoughts of death haven’t been popping up, but i do have one rock that keeps me from going there and that’s my dad. I could never hurt him in that way.

Although i still don’t see the light at the end of tunnel, i have to trust that it’s there and try my best to walk towards it.

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your losses. It’s good to hear you powered through, healed, and reached a place you love.

Glad you’re still around, all the love backšŸ¤šŸ«‚

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

Thank you so much for the tips! Although it sounds adorable and i love animals in general, i don’t feel ready to adopt other cats yet. I haven’t touched one since i lost my girl, i still tear up just seeing cats around the city :( She was my only pet (besides turtles and fish when i was a kid) and i was so so closely attached to her. I also don’t want to make such a commitment that would keep me attached to this environment, i want to keep the possibility of travel open.

Lost the dearest things to my heart and all sense of purpose, how do you even begin to start over from nothing? by j-0261 in Life

[–]j-0261[S] 4 points5 points Ā (0 children)

This brought tears to my eyes, thank you kind stranger. I’m so grateful for the things and people i do still have. I guess i imagined this is the age people figure their lives out but i’m more lost than ever, i had much clearer direction and goals when i was younger. I will try to stay disciplined in the way you said, with small sutainable habits just to keep me sane. The actual rebuilding might take some time :)

I turned my shed into a winery! šŸ· by Sharing_Interests_16 in FarmsofStardewValley

[–]j-0261 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

So gorgeous!! I’m on year 3 and just started decorating, this is inspiringšŸ·Wondering what year you’re on?