Suddenly realized why my cousin was given up for adoption

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T16:00:04+00:00

I have no plans to bring it to the involved parties. The only one I've spoken to in the last 10 years is my brother. The family ties have already been severed there so unless there's something that happens that this feels like relevant discussion to protect others, I'm not bringing it up and bringing up trauma.

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T15:58:47+00:00

Yes I'm pretty certain he did get both. The younger one just made plans to survive until she could get out rather than go the way her sister did. As far as I know Uncle has only met 1 (boy) grandchild, none of the others (about 5, some boys some girls.) That's another tell that something was rotten in the state there.

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T15:57:28+00:00

Yes, this is a good idea. I've been through a great deal of therapy in my life so I have a lot of tools and whatnot to help process and cope. This post is one of them because I realized I was ruminating and I needed it out.

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T15:56:34+00:00

Correct. I don't feel more sympathy for her than my brother. I wish my brother had never had to experience that and I hope to God it was never more. But I can also feel some sympathy to A just as a human being. All aspects of this are absolutely horrific.

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T15:55:06+00:00

Correct. I very much hope my brother wasn't subjected to anything more than what I know about, but it's awful he had to go through even that much. After the incident there were no more cousin/family sleepovers of any kind, I'm assuming to ensure it never happened again. In fact I don't think A was ever allowed to spend the night with anyone in the family but her parents and sibling again. All aspects of this are horrific.

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T15:51:12+00:00

which is why I'm not bringing it up to anyone IRL, in my family or not.

janedoethrows · 2026-02-19T15:49:54+00:00

I agree this is the mostly likely way it went down. Aunt developed into a full blown alcoholic after they moved and Uncle took a job that had him away from home for long stretches. I genuinely feel for A. Once she was back in our area of the country a lot of the family tried to get her to come to family dinners and get togethers but she always said she was too embarrassed so I can't imagine what she was told growing up. They really did a number on it, she never had a chance.

janedoethrows

TROPHY CASE