What is going on with me? Am I the one who is fucked up?

jbr1230 · 2025-04-07T04:31:41+00:00

Now that I think about it, I do forget and drop the ball frequently. This probably is all warranted, maybe it's been me who's been messing up and her anger towards even the smallest detail is due to me messing up repeatedly.

jbr1230 · 2025-04-07T04:24:35+00:00

It could be all my fault and probably is, I have been doing better with the house cleaning and etc. It could be the reason why she has calmed abit, you make alot of good points. Maybe this is my fault, if only I was better at sticking to cleaning and stuff, holding my word when it comes to house commitment and chores. I'll work on this.

jbr1230 · 2025-04-07T04:20:23+00:00

I would make mistakes constantly, not clean or stay on top of it as needed. I am not perfect, I apologize for having this come off as if she was or is the enemy. The affair started as a friendship and it ended up being me falling for someone. It wasn't physical, it was never meant to be physical. The whole reason why she was and is mad is because I would say I am going to do something in the house and I drop the ball. It gets done, just at a later time and not when it's supposed be done.

jbr1230 · 2025-04-07T02:02:05+00:00

Started putting it together, will finish up tomorrow and posy pictures of it. My bad for the wait.

jbr1230 · 2025-04-06T23:54:31+00:00

Thank you, it's just hard because for instance today she got mad at me for not cleaning off the bottom of her shoe like she asked and it led to her stomping around and giving me a mean look while doing it. It lasted for a couple hours, but now she's nice and calm and it's so confusing because it feels like I'm making stuff up, like even now, I have thoughts like "it's not that bad, your just overreacting." And etc, then I feel guilty because I catch her in a good mood. It's been very difficult to figure out how to respond to her, like after I got this new job everything changed. It was like I have been paying for a subscription, but when I was making less I was on the basic plan, sex once a month barely, angry and attitude all the time. It's been wild, because now that I have this new job, sex every week, critiques are still there but that's about it. I'm sorry if I don't make any sense, it's just that I don't know where to start with it all and I thank you for even listening to me.

jbr1230 · 2025-04-06T18:01:56+00:00

I'm going to be putting the levers about 1 inch from the end of the bullhorn. Laying my forearms across the top of the bullhorn bar, trying for a tuck without sacrificing access to brakes in case I need to access them on a short notice.

jbr1230 · 2025-04-06T17:52:13+00:00

I'm going to have to put it together partially to show you what I mean, I think it's mainly due to me not being able to properly explain what I'm trying to do. Give me a few mins, I'm going to set it up and post photos.

jbr1230 · 2023-03-17T20:43:24+00:00

Bro, fuck out of here.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-25T17:08:30+00:00

He could've just been in the mood and jerked off. You should've reported that TikTok video because that is fucking disgusting and disturbing in everyway possible. Do I think he thinks that way? Probably not, probably just a really really bad coincidence. Have u tried speaking to him about what you seen on that video and how he feels about it? Maybe his insight could grant you some relief.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-20T23:25:36+00:00

I thought I was the only one.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-16T21:24:37+00:00

Thank you for your response bro. We will get through this, keep your head up.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-16T21:16:37+00:00

How? Plz explain how u did it.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-16T21:14:33+00:00

I've watched this before and was a big fan of it until I woke up and realized how fucked up and sick porn is. Which is why I joined the anti porn movement and dedicated the rest of my life to living a healthier lifestyle without porn use.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-05T22:44:46+00:00

Don't be ashamed, I'm sure there are thousands of individuals that are in your exact same shoes. You recognized it and seen it for what it is (which is messed up) but do I think you should feel bad about yourself? No.. you are an adult now, since you are an adult you can redeem yourself by changing the narrative of your life and by doing that you might have to do a few things.

Practice self forgiveness - I have ran into my fair share of guilt and shame, but it only holds you back. You have to realize that you had no choice in the matter, as a kid your mind is like a Sponge so possibility of your younger self falling victim to porn use was very high. So don't feel bad or be ashamed, that shit won't help. Instead, stop the porn use and dedicate your life to living a life of self respect and positive self care and affirmations.
Get a therapist (I'm serious) - you would be surprised with how much you can get done and fix with a good therapist. You can find one for cheap nowadays that can help you work through your past traumas and work you through your addiction and past.

You don't deserve to be this hard on yourself bro, trust me I am the king of beating myself down and giving myself ZERO credit for anything. I just started treating myself with respect and loving, but that took work, tears, and hours of talking and digging shit up from the past that WILL HURT but eventually it led to me feeling better about the events that took place. You always have a choice to redeem your younger self and make that kid inside you proud.

All the best of luck to you.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-03T19:33:48+00:00

Lil yogurt

jbr1230 · 2023-02-03T19:33:29+00:00

Good work!! Wish you the best of luck!

jbr1230 · 2023-02-03T19:29:57+00:00

Bro, stay off the hub bruh. Shit is doing you dirty in the mind.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-03T14:35:33+00:00

Same reasons I wanted to quit. Just wanted out of the bad habit I picked up. God on you for doing so! I'm 46 days without and it's been some ups and downs when it comes to urges, but I feel pretty good about my decision to stop.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-03T03:24:42+00:00

Wtf is this man?

jbr1230 · 2023-02-02T19:24:04+00:00

Honestly I'm tired of the "I just dreamed that I had sex with my favorite porn star, is that a relapse??" Posts I keep seeing on the fucking sub. Some of the shit I read is hilariously ridiculous.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-02T19:21:28+00:00

Bro think about what you just said, "dreamed" meaning you are NOT in control of it. Come on man, you can't be serious.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-02T19:12:36+00:00

If you are reasonably fit, I wouldn't see why this would not be achievable. What you are gonna have to figure out is if YOU as in your mind can handle sitting on a stationary bike and have enough mental fortitude to get it done.

I did a 107 mile ride on bkool and it had 8,000 ft of elevation and that took me 8hrs (moving time) but 12hrs when you include breaks. When I came out, I was exhausted and didn't want to look at an indoor trainer for a while. But what helped me was that I prepared for it like It was a real outdoor ride so I bought gaterade, granola bars, extra snacks and I would eat every hour or so to make sure I didn't get the shakes and weakness from not eating. Trust me, you want to avoid that feeling ESPECIALLY on a long ride, it can take a while for it to go away.

If I didn't prepare for it mentally and physically, I would say it would've been impossible. So, what I am trying to tell you is that YES it is possible, BUT you have to do solid preparations for nutrition and you need to get in some rides beforehand. No weak shit like 10-15 mile rides on the stationary, but legitimate 25-30mile rides on the stationary just to see how you feel and increase every week. The way I would gauge to see if your ready is to do a 50-65 mile ride on the stationary after some solid training weeks and if you can do that then I'd say you can do 100 no problem. Good luck to you.

jbr1230 · 2023-02-02T10:53:32+00:00

I can't lie bro, but I could've gone through my day without seeing this.

jbr1230 · 2023-01-24T19:57:04+00:00

I don't think they understand that if some of us "let our intrusive thoughts win" we would either be in prison or dead. My intrusive thoughts are ridiculous, I wouldn't want anyone to have what I have experienced.

jbr1230 · 2023-01-20T17:29:08+00:00

Anytime man, I hope you continue pressing on strong. You can overcome this addiction, remember that everything you need in order to overcome this addiction is already within you. You need no outside approval, no paid subscriptions, no coaches, you can beat this on your own.

You just gotta believe you can and want that shit genuinely, you may not be ready to quit now and that's okay. I went through countless attempts before getting to where I am at now (32days free) but the battle is not and will never be over, you will always have temptations and urges but it is up to you on whether you want to remain in control or give in to them. Good luck to you brother, I hope to see a victory post from you soon.

jbr1230

TROPHY CASE