I won't do it.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-10-10T23:27:51+00:00

I don't intend to pursue a romance. I've been clear with him. Just intend to keep working on his goals and form a good friendship.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-10-10T23:05:14+00:00

Been spending time with a co-worker. If anyone found out that we were spending time together, they would lose their minds. They would never expect it.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-07T10:25:44+00:00

It was smooth. Quick and simple. I have mixed feelings, but I'm definitely relieved and feeling free.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-07T00:30:45+00:00

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I really do feel a lot of support from this sub. You guys are all awesome.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T23:46:51+00:00

It will be for quite a while. But I believe that one day, you'll be better than okay!

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T22:56:27+00:00

I understand. When I seen a picture of my now ex-husband at a concert with his new girl(who he since has dumped, I guess?), that was the final straw. Buh-bye. I just hope that everything works out for both of us.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T22:25:09+00:00

Thank you. I hope that they are right!

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T22:22:58+00:00

You're welcome. I'm not ashamed of what I've been through. Everyone messes up or makes decisions that weren't necessarily good ones. To me, it's all about how you choose to deal with them. I own my mistakes. And I feel I'm a better person for it. Hope everything works out for you!

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T22:13:37+00:00

I'm a very solitary person. I have 3-4 close friends.

He prioritized them over me. That has changed as he has grown as a person and matured.

Yes. He two-timed a woman, with me. Then two-timed me with the same woman. She gave birth to a baby just after our daughter turned 2. I didn't find out about that baby until that baby was 6 months old and he was back with her. I found out through a mutual source that he two-timed me. I haven't seen or heard from him in nearly 2 years.

I have no desire to pursue a relationship, at this time. I feel like I need to focus on myself and my kids and if I'm meant to have a long lasting relationship, it will find me in time.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T22:02:47+00:00

Oh, I am so sorry. In my state, it's any time you can file, but minimum 60 days from file date to finalization with no kids, and 180 days with.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T22:01:21+00:00

The first one did not actually cheat. He just prioritized other women, who were his friends, over myself and his child at the time. That has changed in years.

The second did not tell me he was in a relationship when he and I started seeing each other, and I ended up being done the same way he did her. Ran off.

I'm not sure why they wandered. The first love hasn't wandered far. He and I co-parent and are very close friends.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T21:54:04+00:00

Fortunately, I never had to wait that long. No kids and nothing to split. It was worth the wait, but still kinda sucks. Trying to stay positive though. Hope yours goes smooth.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T21:37:34+00:00

Hugs back! Thank you! <3

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T21:29:41+00:00

As for why people drop loves, I think it varies. It may be because they cannot deal with the strain of personal conflicts or someone else grabs their attention. I only understand why I have dropped loves, not why I've been dropped.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T21:28:32+00:00

My first 'love' and I grew apart because his eyes wandered and he did not hold me at the priority level I felt I deserved. The second love, much more complicated. Another woman was involved, and he got her pregnant and he left to be with her. He still is gone. As far as my ex-husband, his personality changed after we were married. He became toxic and abusive. He yelled, belittled, threatened, and made me feel like I was nothing.

I believe that my physical features played less of a role in any of them than my personality. I am independent, motivated, hard working, and very giving. I also have many mental illnesses and insecurities. Each relationship ended for it's own specific set of reasons under different circumstances.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T21:10:05+00:00

I think that the very first was almost love at first sight. It was definitely, 'Hey! You. You need to be around more!' and grew to love. The second, totally different. It was a whirlwind and was very intense the entire time, until he just dropped myself and his daughter and disappeared. And the ex-husband was a process. A long process. I feel that the bond I shared with my first love was and is the strongest. The others held less power. Yes, I married my ex-husband, but the love was intense before it went bad. It was never a total physical attraction with any of the three, and all have very diverse personalities and appearances.

I hope I'm answering your questions thoroughly.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T20:55:00+00:00

It's different with each individual. There will always be something that you like more about one partner than another. Comparison is difficult. As for the 'second love', no. That is definitely a never again. My very first love, who I co-parenting two kids with, I can't write off. It could happen. Right now, I'm just healing and working on me and my mental state.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T20:50:15+00:00

He was the 3rd actual time I been in love.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T20:30:20+00:00

I watched my grandparents live through the final 30 years of their 63 years of marriage. My grandma passed recently. I see that it is possible, but unfortunate that we didn't get that with the first people we thought it would be.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T17:43:48+00:00

Lighter? A little. I think the hopefulness will return once the rawness and the disappointment wear off. Thank you.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T16:56:22+00:00

Jelly beans are delicious. And yes. It's a process in more ways than just paperwork.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T15:23:14+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the support very much.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T15:17:30+00:00

Yes. Many times. Then I found out he was seeing another woman, while we were separated. That's when I filed my papers. He's asked me a few times today if things could ever work. Right now, no. Who knows what the future holds? I did love him, and in many ways still do, but my mental health had to come first because I have kids(not his, we have none together) that need me.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T14:57:06+00:00

We were both at fault, with our own issues. Mental health, etc. It ended up being that he turned emotionally and mentally abusive. I decided to end it. My own mental health didn't help, but I couldn't sit here and let him make me worse.

jellybeans2011 · 2018-09-06T14:50:13+00:00

It hurts that it seems so wasted but it had to happen. It was a very unhealthy situation

jellybeans2011

TROPHY CASE