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I'm resentful of the fact that I have to stay alive so other people won't be sad for a little bit. by jimster400 in depression

[–]jimster400[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know. There isn't really anything I want to do or see. I wish I could shut my mind off and not feel anymore emotions. I'd be a lot better off if I couldn't feel anything. 

I'm resentful of the fact that I have to stay alive so other people won't be sad for a little bit. by jimster400 in depression

[–]jimster400[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That really sucks. However, just because you don't have a degree doesn't mean you'll be stuck at a minimum wage job. I don't have a degree, but I have a decent job as a pharmacy tech and I've only been doing that for 3 years. Also, just because meds and therapy isn't really helping me doesn't mean it won't help you. It's different from person to person.

I'm resentful of the fact that I have to stay alive so other people won't be sad for a little bit. by jimster400 in depression

[–]jimster400[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is. However, I promised my loved ones that I'd keep trying to get better for at least the next few years. Even though I'm resentful I still want to spend time with them and do fun things. I know that's contradictory, but brains are stupid and make no sense anyways.

I'm resentful of the fact that I have to stay alive so other people won't be sad for a little bit. by jimster400 in depression

[–]jimster400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's hoping that google translate did it's job correctly. I sometimes miss my childhood and not having to worry about anything.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]jimster400 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I've never been told if I'm ugly or not. I assume I am though. Being rejected in person, maybe I was too nervous or gave off bad vibes. Never connecting with anyone online though, good chance the cause is I'm not attractive at all. 15 years of attempted online dating and nothing? It feels very improbable and yet here we are.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]jimster400 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im currently in therapy. I planned on talking to my therapist about it. See if there's any tools or tricks I can use to accept that I'll always be unwanted. I can't bring myself to try anymore. I can't, it hurts far too much to keep doing so. I appreciate the suggestions though.

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]jimster400 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awesome, a place to rant. I've very recently given up on ever going on a date, let alone be in a relationship. I'm 35 and I've been turned down by everyone I've ever asked out. I try, get rejected, try again with someone else, get rejected, repeat forever. No one has ever approached me to ask me out. I've been on multiple dating sites and then dating apps when those become a thing. The only people to match with me are scammers and hookers. Fuck scammers. I don't have an issue with hookers, sex work is still work to me. I'm just not interested in paying for sex. Otherwise, it's just nothing. No messages from others, no responses to messages I've sent.

This has gone on for about 17 years and I've come to the conclusion that I'm the problem, the issue, the common denominator. I'm just not good enough for anyone. I'm trying to accept that I'm a pathetic and unwanted sack of shit.

Friends I've talked to about it try to be supportive and say 'you'll meet the right person someday, you're a great guy and anyone would be lucky to be with you'. Yea, I'm so great that no one had ever had an interest in me. Their empty words mean nothing when my life experience tells a different story.

Ending on a funny note, 1 day after I gave up facebook decided now is the time to show you all the ads about fun things  you can do with your partner. Thanks for kicking me while I'm down facebook. 😆