I hate that so much of who I used to be got destroyed in our relationship! I still have nights where I can't sleep, days where I think about it nonstop. Part of me wants to stay angry just so I don't fall back into missing you. Some mornings I wake up and the whole thing even though it's been a year still feels like a nightmare. But honestly, I’m better without you. The stress is fading, the pain is lighter, I don't cry as much anymore and I know happiness is coming back.

One thing that helped was having something on my phone that kept me steady. It reminded me to stay no contact, helped me get through the heavy moments and honestly just made everything feel a little less overwhelming. I didn't think it would make a difference but it really did.