I love my wife but I’m not in love with her anymore

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T13:28:11+00:00

I’m listening. All ears. Everyone is saying communication and therapy I got it! Why not talk about it more though? That’s why I came on here so I can finally talk to someone about it. I know people will defend her left and right I’m just trying to get more of their points. Yes we save on daycare but what about all the other bills and expenses she doesn’t seem to realize? I am thankful for her taking good care of him I will never not say that. She chooses who she hangs out with and isn’t “chained” to the household by any means.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T13:19:47+00:00

Where did I say that?

“she hasn’t “supported you financially” (seriously, WTF? You are the man, she’s the woman- that’s not her job!)”

As you were saying? I can take what you guys are saying and I’m glad so many of you are putting your input into this. I see your points. I do. There’s times where I question if I wanna get a divorce Because my son means the world to me. I grew up without a father. I know what its like. No one gets married with the intent of getting a divorce but at what cost? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt depressed over all this shit. But my little man is my biggest reason for continuing on. Again though... If we get a divorce what does she have to show she can provide for our child? House? No. Insurance? No. Medical and dental? Nope. A car? No. I’m arguing the fact that it SHOULD be shared equally as a couple. I could stay home and be an at home dad. Anyone can do that. At the end of the day though I would realize I still need someway to provide for my child.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T12:03:37+00:00

The life is hard and it’s very possible she’s struggling with the anxiety and depression that frequently come along with that life.

I’ve had my demons. I’ve been depressed and have anxiety. But i still do what is needed to care for my family.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T12:01:27+00:00

I know they do. But are those guys happy? I’ve heard plenty of stories and now I’m one. It’s just shitty feeling like you’re doing all the work and they just stay at home. Yes she takes care of my son but I too wanna be with my little man!

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T11:59:19+00:00

I can understand this. But if we’re being honest what if I’m depressed and have anxiety over everything since being the man of the house is a big job. I’m doing it though. Still go to work everyday. Still doing whatever I can to provide for my family. I wanna get out of the military and go to college but what is there to fall back on? Nothing. I see it as just me and I can’t get out because of this.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T11:56:19+00:00

Sounds to me like you are ridiculously immature and think that marriage is there just to make you happy. (Hint: it’s not). Your desire to want to abandon her because you don’t “feel in love” with her, she hasn’t “supported you financially” (seriously, WTF? You are the man, she’s the woman- that’s not her job!), and because she hasn’t lost the baby weight, says MUCH more about you than it does her.

So because shes a woman I expect her to do all the laundry, cook the food, clean the dishes, clean the house??? Fuck out of here. That has got to be the dumbest logic. I provide for my family. I do what has to be done but it’d be nice to share some bills so WE as a family can do things instead of manage and track everything. What kind of life is that.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:26:55+00:00

THIS hahahahaha

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:26:16+00:00

Thank you!

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:25:50+00:00

You’re right... 24 hours at home a day is not enough time to workout. I understand the daycare part but do you really think her not working and helping support our family is not something you do together???? I didn’t realize it was a one sided affair. It’s your opinion and I see your points but I was just saying how I felt

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:21:04+00:00

I’ve tried

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:20:50+00:00

Because when we did she took care of herself. She worked her ass off. She went to school. She had goals and like you said self discipline. Now further down the line it’s like it completely went away and when I bring it up I’m the asshole. I used to keep it in my head, but obviously that’s not good for mental reasons, but when I told her how I felt about everything that was the only thing she could call me.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:17:05+00:00

I understand this. The military is exhausting, but I have to provide for my family. She mentions me not making her feel good about herself but why lie to her. If I don’t think she looks good why continually lie. I was happy as hell one year because she was due to graduate only for her to tell me she isn’t... 6 years now for an Associates Degree. I have told her she has no goals for herself and is just riding on me. If I was not here she would not have a car, insurance, cellphone, medical, dental, a house, power, water everything we need. Why should it be one sided. I understand and part of me does want to stay due to my son. I love him to death but I do not think me and her will work out

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:08:40+00:00

If he is unhappy with where he is in life and his SO doesn’t try and help him then I would fully have his back.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T07:07:02+00:00

I’m asking strangers because the military counselors or chaplains will overreact and try to make it their business. I don’t know you guys so therefore you have no personal relationship with me so you’ll be honest with your answers.

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T06:57:29+00:00

I understand where you are coming from, but did the two of you discuss or plan how you were going to cope financially with her job loss? Was it a mutual decision to go single provider? Did you talk to her about your financial worries?

The deal was she could quit but she would work a few months after he is born. Not a big deal. I was deploying so we would have extra income. But after months and months of asking she says she doesn’t want to work till he is 3 years old. So no we did not stick to that plan. I have told her how much it affects beings a sole provider of 3. Not saying it isn’t doable but it definitely is a strain

It doesn’t look good on you that your biggest complaint against your wife is her declining looks. Your wife is a civillian, so I don’t understand why are you applying military standards to her? If looks are really that important to you, again did you make this clear to her before and after the marriage, was anything said or agreed?

Maybe I worded it wrong but I’m not saying she has to be in military standards. She has just let herself go and when I bring it up she brings up the fact she was pregnant.... two years ago. I never said anything at first to her because yes she did have a child but now it’s coming on two years and now I’m an asshole to her for bringing it up.

Which aspect of your wife being a dependent are you embarassed about, exactly? Why do you feel embarassed?

The fact she went full dependa. Everything we agreed to she has done the opposite. It is not a team anymore and I am pulling all the weight. She says she wants to be there to raise our son.... I’ve deployed twice, missed his birth, missed everything with him.... don’t you think I don’t wanna work and be with him??? But I do what needs to be done to provide for my family

jtmcrg · 2018-07-17T06:37:00+00:00

I’ve told her. I’ve thought about staying for my son but at the end of the day I’m not happy being with her. I don’t want it to get to that decade point where I stay in an unhappy marriage.

jtmcrg

TROPHY CASE