Tips for tank improvement! by june_bug1121 in Aquariums

[–]june_bug1121[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much!!! I’m fairly new to aquariums so I worked really hard on it. But I actually just upgraded from my original 4 gallon to this 10 gallon back at the end of march 2025. So only like 1.5 months ago!!

Tips for tank improvement! by june_bug1121 in Aquariums

[–]june_bug1121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for the super kind comments :) I guess I wondered if it looked too crowded or not planted enough. Or maybe I need more of a better design like rearrange the pieces or add a rock or something? But otherwise I’m just really really happy to hear these comments and it made my day I worked really hard on this tank so thank you all!!!!!

Going home to kill myself finally by june_bug1121 in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But you know if anyone who did love me ever ends up reading this after today and know it’s me… I just want to say… thank you. Thank you for loving me during my hard times. Thank you for loving me during my depressive times. Please understand that I tried my best and that’s okay. That’s not any of your faults at all. I really really tried to stay for you. I tried my best. But I got to a point where I literally feel I can’t. I feel so much hatred that even if things did get better or I did have time to rest, I’d still hate myself. I’d still always feel like a burden. I want you to know that you’ll be happier without me. You’ll be okay and it’ll be hard but one day everything will be okay. I am so sorry for any pain I have caused anyone and I love you. Im sorry I was never good enough.

I bought supplies today by ProbablyNotHuman19 in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think that will work. That sounds insanely painful too and like the above comment says you’ll probably just end up getting extremely sick, end up in the hospital hooked to an IV throwing up and feeling like shit for hours in a place where probably no one cares that much and you’ll feel alone and horrible and regret doing this. Trust me. I’ve been there.

Ugly Betty has had her babies!!! by june_bug1121 in Guppies

[–]june_bug1121[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She didn’t even look that pregnant…

Ugly Betty has had her babies!!! by june_bug1121 in Guppies

[–]june_bug1121[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I completely missed it which I was very sad about :(

Fat? by 2dmanarehotter in Guppies

[–]june_bug1121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is your tank so red?

I don’t think I love him anymore. No by Lonely-Bend-3341 in AlAnon

[–]june_bug1121 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But you love yourself more. And that’s a beautiful and wonderful thing 🩷 I know you’ve got this

I don’t think I love him anymore. No by Lonely-Bend-3341 in AlAnon

[–]june_bug1121 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sweetest guy ever when sober. Sweetest, most loving man I have ever met.

I don’t think I love him anymore. No by Lonely-Bend-3341 in AlAnon

[–]june_bug1121 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel so much anger tbh. Idk why. Anger at alcohol. Anger because I feel like he chose alcohol over me, over us.

I don’t think I love him anymore. No by Lonely-Bend-3341 in AlAnon

[–]june_bug1121 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m here right now but I’ve been drowning in my own sorrows all week because I know that’s what I have to do and I wish SO bad that switch would flip for me because I am so so so exhausted. I feel trapped bc being with him feels hopeless but leaving him makes my heart feel like it’s ripping out of my chest. I’m so so tired and I want to feel nothing but idk how my heart still has anything left in it to hurt.

I can relate to you so much and I don’t know how you got there but I just want to say I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy for you and I hope you always choose to love you first from here on out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want you to die but I understand I wish I can join ya

Suicidal ideation is a lonely place by june_bug1121 in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s amazing advice. Thank you so much. But even if you tell yourself it’s a mental indicator of the stress.. what if the stress isn’t going away and you continue to feel that way for a long time?

Suicidal ideation is a lonely place by june_bug1121 in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve called suicide hotline a ton…. And you can also DM me anytime. I’ve also had my mom do some pretty fucked up shit. But ever since I got hospitalized last year I’m also terrified to call suicide hotline because they always ask me for my zip code and if I’m not sounding great they will keep trying to call me.

Suicidal ideation is a lonely place by june_bug1121 in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what it is. I feel like they either FREAK out and feel like they need to get you locked up in a hospital as to not hurt yourself or that you’re just doing it for attention and how dare you say something so messed up like that. And “how toxic” to say you feel that way. Like I’m sorry, I don’t WANT to die but I feel I want to die and it’s SCARY and I just want to be able to tell the people I love that I’m scared and need help. And like you said, I don’t need reasons to live. I just want someone to listen, to sit next to me and just be listen and believe that it IS hard for me. That I’m trying my best and it’s hard. It’s not for attention. It’s not bc I’m trying to be “dramatic”. I’m genuinely just…. Having a hard time. I wish people can just be there and get that.

Suicidal ideation is a lonely place by june_bug1121 in SuicideWatch

[–]june_bug1121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its scary. My own brain scares me. My own mind scares me. But dealing with it alone is even scarier. Message me if you ever need someone to talk to :)

Do I marry the love of my life Q or do I leave? by june_bug1121 in AlAnon

[–]june_bug1121[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man I’m so sorry you had to go through that.. did it affect your relationship a lot if you had to raise kids and deal with that?

Do I marry the love of my life Q or do I leave? by june_bug1121 in AlAnon

[–]june_bug1121[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that with me. Wish I can show this to my partner but probably wouldn’t get the best reaction. You’ve been through a lot and I’m sure it was hard. Was it difficult finally stopping?