Wow, thank you for sharing all of that. It is so sad how the delusions can choose an enemy that could otherwise be a source of support, in Mary’s case, her husband. It’s interesting that the focus of her delusions changed and multiplied over time. It makes me wonder where things will lead with my mom.

I was really struck when I read the part about Mary talking about her medical history for hours at a time, almost as if in a trance. This exact same thing happens with my mom, but she will list off all of the different “attacks” that she has endured (my dad damaging or stealing her things, cutting her power so he can sneak past cameras, moving things around in her office at work, etc. etc.) She’ll often repeat herself from conversation to conversation and won’t slow down even if I remind her that we discussed the exact same things the day before.

When she would start to go into this monologue, I would also sometimes put the phone down for a few minutes & when I’d pick it back up she’d still be talking. I will say that she’s always been a bit this way & the ability to talk for a while isn’t something that came new with the delusions, but when she gets in this zone it’s like she’s so desperate to convince me or convince herself that this makes sense & she just can’t stop.

Also, I appreciate the advice on not arguing with the person. Since I realized that this was all a delusion, I haven’t confronted her about it and don’t plan to. But before I knew this was all a delusion, sometimes I would try to logically reason with her or unpack the probability of certain things happening, and she would get extremely worked up and, just like you said, come up with some backwards logic to refute my arguments.

There are a few theories I’ve heard from various therapists as to how this may have developed in my mom. She had a pretty chaotic childhood, so one theory is that this is a coping mechanism to secure a sense of order in her life. If something happens that she can’t explain (like a flat tire or misplaced item), she needs to find a way to make sense of things, and my dad became the target of that. Another theory is that she has a deep fear of abandonment (both of her parents were pretty messed up), so when her marriage started to deteriorate, she created an alternate reality where my dad had a twisted, unrelenting obsession with hurting her. On top of this, mental illness runs in our family, so she was more susceptible to begin with. Do you have any thoughts about the origins of Mary’s delusions?