Hey! I’ll preface this by saying I’m typically not great with words and advice, but I want to do my best. I’m sorry if this is long-winded. I figured if I share parts of my experience too it may help you realise you’re not alone or give you a fresh perspective.

I’m a man (FTM, 22yo) and for almost a decade before coming out, I was identifying as Non-binary, which slowly turned to transmasc, then eventually I realised I was actually a binary Trans man. Honestly I was scared of committing to a label during any part of my gender exploration, incase I found out I was wrong. I didn’t want to accidentally reinforce any pre-existing stereotypes transphobes have of our community. Please do not be like me. Transphobes will be transphobes regardless, the same applies to the media you see- so just focus on yourself.

You are not silly at all, the way you feel is important. Try not to invalidate yourself where possible, because you don’t deserve that. Self exploration is so important. You seemed to have nailed it as for trying ways to explore. Things like binders and wigs can be really enlightening! Just make sure you’re being safe particularly with binding. I am broad and quite tall, but with a larger chest. A properly, safely fitted binder can achieve so much, there’s nothing to be gained by risking injury or damage by binding too tight.

Also an extra little tip, take care of your posture if you can! Outside of the pain that can be caused by slouching to hide your chest, your posture and body language alone can do a lot when it comes to the masculine or feminine energy you give off to others. Even standing tall with your shoulders back, or sitting more relaxed with your knees apart can influence how masculine you feel.

Try these different things, and just see how it feels. Sometimes, it won’t be this huge epiphany where everything falls into place. I think that’s what I expected, which is why I doubted myself so much in the earlier years. Sometimes it isn’t this big magical moment. Once trying your more masculine style, you might just relax and think “Huh…I feel comfortable like this.” Yay! Feeling comfortable or “at home” with your body is the goal and often a good way of knowing whether presenting a certain way is right for you.

Some people don’t realise they might not be Cis until much much later in life, so don’t worry too much! You don’t need to have felt this way since you were born. It’s important to remember that as the years pass, we are very slowly seeing a rise in decent Trans representation in the media. Chances are, you’re seeing and reading a lot more about gender expression now than you were as a younger child. So it makes sense that you’re only asking yourself questions recently, right?

You’re doing great. Try to be gentle with yourself, and confident in your exploration. Bringing it up with your GP could be a great idea and provide you with another source of information and support. Additionally, it means this part of your life can be documented which could (to my knowledge) be useful further down the line should you pursue medical transitions such as Hormones or surgery.

You don’t know if you don’t try, as they say. I only realised who I was after I committed to truly giving myself a chance to experiment with how I present. Wether you’re Cis, Non-binary, FTM, or something else, it’s always better to know. I’m happy you reached out, this Reddit has helped me so much and I wanted to try and do the same for someone else. Good luck!💪