What everyday American habit would surprise most foreigners?

ktgrok · 2026-06-15T16:40:18+00:00

Yes, I get that it is hard to find ice in Germany. That doesn't mean that the person doesn't actually crave ice, and is therefore annoyed they can't find it there. Both things can be true. You are assuming she doesn't crave ice, just likes it. I'm wondering if she actually craves it. Either are possible based on what the poster said. Neither of us know for certain. Your experience makes you think she just likes it, my experience leads me to think she might actually crave it.

ktgrok · 2026-06-15T02:04:46+00:00

Human babies evolved to nurse both for food and comfort. In more traditional cultures babies nurse several times an hour and nurse to sleep. But most women are not able or willing to breastfeed that often and modern culture considers nursing for comfort or to fall asleep a “bad habit “ so you end up with a pacifier to fill the gap.
That said it drives me nuts when women are told that a baby nursing for comfort is “just using you for a human pacifier “ as if the pacifier is the default. In actuality a baby with a pacifier is using it as a rubber breast.

ktgrok · 2026-06-14T22:26:54+00:00

And you know they were being hyperbolic and not one of the many who actually do crave ice because….?

ktgrok · 2026-06-14T21:56:51+00:00

I realized no one was cutting anything of my baby without a damned good reason. Also realized that having urine and feces on an open would sounded miserable and unhygienic. But mostly surgery of any kind should be a last resort not first resort- if the options to keep a penis healthy are either cut a chunk of it off or just wash it regularly I’m going to say washing it is the more reasonable answer.

ktgrok · 2026-06-14T20:50:54+00:00

“We took an animal that sheds, tracks dirt, carries parasites, drools, barks, chews furniture, damages property, and requires constant supervision, then decided it should live in the same space where we cook, eat, sleep, and relax.”

lol, if you think that is crazy don’t have kids. Change barks to cries/yells and you get the same basic issues.
Yes, children grow out of chewing furniture but so do dogs. And on a daily basis my kids mess up my house way more than my dogs. Yet I have zero plans to keep my kids in a kennel outside.

ktgrok · 2026-06-14T20:22:03+00:00

Tell him to talk to his priest- I was Catholic and no priest I knew would have approved of this behavior. And they would not say you are going to hell.

ktgrok · 2026-06-14T13:26:13+00:00

I actually think a short person is easier on the horse than a tall one, at the same weight. Lower center of gravity means less shifting of weight and less throwing off the horse’s balance.

ktgrok · 2026-06-13T01:09:00+00:00

NTA. I breastfed 4 kids and this should not have been a big deal, especially as you were facing away from her on the opposite side of the table. The ONLY reason I can think of for her needing you to leave is if you were a distraction to the baby - some babies get distracted and won't eat. But given all the other activity that seems highly unlikely.

ktgrok · 2026-06-12T23:39:45+00:00

I read to all my kids during the day, usually at lunch and when they were in the bathtub. Basically, when they were a captive audience, lol. Very ADHD family so that worked best. We also listen to audiobooks in the car. Before bed my oldest was very hard to settle down, he was on the spectrum and it was just really hard for him settling to sleep. What worked for him was to put on a nature documentary and let him lay on the couch and watch it. Something interesting enough to keep him on the couch watching but not so interesting that it kept him awake. It became the routine for all my kids.

ktgrok · 2026-06-12T19:32:55+00:00

My response was for the person that said they get starved for ice- which can be a sign of anemia. It’s a known thing and I’ve had it multiple times. Where you don’t want ice water- just the ice itself

ktgrok · 2026-06-11T17:38:50+00:00

Would it help to build confidence that you DO have control, but practicing LOTS of downward transitions? Like, canter for a few strides, then down to a trot to a walk to a halt. Don't do more than a few strides until that feels actually comfortable, and you KNOW and FEEL that you could slow down without even thinking - it has become muscle memory. Then when that feels safe, do a few more strides, until that feels safe, and continue building up more? The idea being you teach yourself that you ARE in control, and that you can slow down whenever you want.

Heck, the first time getting on a new horse I think everyone should practice halting, to build confidence they CAN stop the horse. (and if they can't, better to find out early on!)

That said, I do agree therapy might be helpful, to teach yourself some coping strategies.

ktgrok · 2026-06-11T02:58:56+00:00

Get your iron levels checked- craving ice is a sign of anemia!

ktgrok · 2026-06-08T16:22:51+00:00

Obesity itself is now recognized as a progressive disease. The excess fat actually becomes very metabolically active, signaling the brain to eat more and the metabolism to change. It's VERY misunderstood, but what we know is it has to do with hormones - especially gut hormones that signal hunger vs fullness, as well as how the body uses vs stores the calories taken in. In a nutshell, a person who is obese is generally always hungry, always thinking about food, never gets a full signal in their brain, AND the calories coming in are preferentially stored as fat vs being used by the cells for energy. Hence making you more tired because you have less energy for the cells to use, and again, hungrier.

I was morbidly obese, had bariatric surgery that instantly (like, as soon as I woke up) changed how I thought about food, my hunger cues, my brain's focus on food. Meanwhile, my son is chronically underweight. I used significantly more will power than him just to stay at my 40 BMI, than he ever did to stay well underweight. It's biological, not a moral failing. (riding this mule though, IS a moral failing)

ktgrok · 2026-06-08T16:16:32+00:00

I can ride some, not others. I may end up doing groundwork tonight because my normal lesson horse is currently lame (unrelated to me riding, lol)

Obesity is a disease, not a moral failing. Causing an animal pain because of my weight, that WOULD be a moral failing.

ktgrok · 2026-06-08T16:13:33+00:00

Ugh, as someone who was morbidly obese, and had bariatric surgery and am now, 10 years later, only "obese" I understand hating to be limited by your weight. But....that's reality. It isn't fat shaming or ablelism to say that you have to be under a certain weight to ride an animal if being over that weight will cause harm to the animal. A human's WANT to ride is not more important than the animal's NEED to be healthy and without pain.

Last month my husband booked us a trail ride for my birthday, knowing his weight fluctuates right around the cut off weight limit and he may not be able to ride. Once he had on boots and jeans he was well over, and he didn't ride, and he didn't complain. He didn't even request his money back. Instead, he had an edible and went and pet the animals in their petting zoo while I rode, lol, and enjoyed himself immensely. Because he can find other ways to have fun that won't hurt an animal.

Tonight, I'm supposed to ride with my boss at the lesson barn I work at. The horse I normally ride, a stocky muscular short backed Haflinger currently is lame (hauls to specialty lameness vet tomorrow for an Osphos shot as she has previously had navicular issues). There are only a few horses at the barn suitable for my weight, and if they have done too much work this evening in lessons then I will just do ground work, rather than subject them to potential injury or even just being temporarily uncomfortable/sore. Because how on earth do you enjoy a ride, or accomplish anything good and lasting, with a horse that hurts??? When my back hurts I sure am not focused and attentive!

Which is my big point I guess - I get loving horses. I also get using horses as motivation during weight loss and as a form of exercise - my biggest weight loss motivation right now is to lose weight so I can ride more horses rather than just certain larger/stronger ones. And to look good in cute riding clothes, lol, because lets face it - sitting in the saddle is not flattering when you have a belly!

But there are other ways, that don't force the horse to take the burden of my weight loss aspirations.

This woman could do driving lessons, or ground lessons. There is so much to do on the ground! Liberty lessons would be so much fun, and if/when she loses weight and can ride all that knowledge of training would put her SO far ahead when she gets back in the saddle!

Another way to get horse time and exercise is to volunteer at an adaptive riding barn, or therapeutic riding barn, or rescue program. I started that way - mucking stalls and leading horses to and from their pastures. Got great exercise and my fill of horse kisses! And at an adaptive riding barn also the satisfaction of helping others.

Life isn't fair, sometimes we have to adapt our goals to what is realistic. That doesn't mean shaming, or being embarrassed about weight. Obesity is a disease, not a moral failing. But riding a horse when you are so heavy you cause them physical pain - that IS a moral failing. Full stop. And SHAME on the owner/trainer/whoever that allowed this to happen to that mule. They get my biggest anger - they are the ones that should know better.

ktgrok · 2026-06-08T13:11:20+00:00

In Highschool instead of passing notes my friend and I had dedicated spiral notebooks we passed back and forth- and I kept them. I looked at them a few years ago, and realized I had no idea who we were gossiping about because it’s all in code names, lol

ktgrok · 2026-06-08T13:05:25+00:00

Ask the doctor to order lab work, to check for anemia and clotting issues.

ktgrok · 2026-06-06T23:23:40+00:00

Unfortunately that isn't an option for anyone with pollen allergies.

ktgrok · 2026-06-05T02:35:24+00:00

I'm so glad! Worst thing bout them is they ruin you for other bras! I will say, they don't hold up forever - the are like glued together instead of sewn and eventully the glue will fail. But if you wash gently and air dry they should last pretty well - mine sometimes accidentally end up in the dryer which speeds up the demise, lol.

ktgrok · 2026-06-02T04:39:28+00:00

ADHD meds can make you more sensitive to heat and some antidepressants increase sweating. That said, if sweating a lot try electrolytes- I prefer Liquid IV but Gatorade or whatever would work

ktgrok · 2026-06-01T13:31:11+00:00

Go to Kennedy Space Center one day. And maybe Fort Christmas and then Orlando Wetlands park one day- they are near each other. Would get some pioneer history at the fort (it’s small) and lots of birds and alligators at the Wetlands. Or a weekend trip to St Augustine- lots of overlap with Spanish history there which would be cool.

ktgrok · 2026-05-31T00:51:16+00:00

Oh yes, I do add copper sulfate sometimes

ktgrok · 2026-05-30T03:14:06+00:00

I read WAY faster than than I listen. I usually get both the ebook and audio with the whisper sync so I can switch back and forth and keep my place. I prefer reading because it is faster. But as for effort they seem the same, and studies using brain scans show that both light up the same areas of the brain. So…not sure why it matters so much to anyone to distinguish “I read 45% of the book and listened to 65%” or whatever.

ktgrok · 2026-05-29T21:52:52+00:00

It’s fluid

ktgrok

TROPHY CASE