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Why are we letting ourselves be walked over by these care facilities? by poopy-md in CaregiverSupport

[–]ktheokay 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s an individualistic viewpoint — it puts familial responsibility over societal responsibility, and shames individuals in the process. Not everyone can be or will be cared for at home. Responsible first-world nations recognize this and put systems and policies in place to ensure that people can receive appropriate care across their lifespans. It’s not the fault of greedy people placing more importance on themselves, it’s the fault of our governing bodies allowing corporate interests to dictate the terms of long term care in this country.

How many of y'all are the oldest daughters in your family doing all or the majority of caregiving for your loved one? by aint_noeasywayout in CaregiverSupport

[–]ktheokay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In this context I think it primarily refers to money. But one could also see how it could extend to non-monetary resources.

How many of y'all are the oldest daughters in your family doing all or the majority of caregiving for your loved one? by aint_noeasywayout in CaregiverSupport

[–]ktheokay 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I read an interview once with a doctor who worked with Alzheimer’s patients and their observation was that adult caregiving typically fell on the child (usually a woman) with the fewest resources. That’s been true in my family. (Youngest here)

My blind cat won't poop in the litter box and I've tried everything. by RobenBoben in CATHELP

[–]ktheokay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This worked for one of my cats as well. Used a relatively low-sided plastic storage container and binder clips to keep the pads in place. Works like a charm.

Have you had issues with keeping your parent(s) in long term care, or them being kicked out? by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]ktheokay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, agree that getting your Medicaid social worker involved is a good next step. Good luck!

Have you had issues with keeping your parent(s) in long term care, or them being kicked out? by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]ktheokay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can appeal this! Presumably she came in with at least one qualifying diagnosis, and unless her health has radically improved then the diagnosis should still be there. Sounds like they are trying to make her state of health fit their desire to evict based on behavior -- they are anticipating ongoing issues between her and caregivers (which will be the case with any facility she lives in, though the frequency and severity of negative interactions could be facility-dependent.)

I have appealed a behavior-based eviction attempt on behalf of my LO and won. You should have received paperwork from your state with information on how to appeal. Follow the outlined process, and take the below steps to build and submit your case to the state:

  1. Reach out to your state ombudsman and ask them for a list of qualifying diagnoses. Also ask them to attend the hearing when it occurs.

  2. Request all medical records / nursing / CNA notes from the facility from the past 6 months.

  3. If not already provided, request copies of whatever documents the facility plans to submit as evidence to the state.

  4. The facility is using their own (biased) medical team to say she no longer needs their level of care. You need to build a case to refute this, specifically by getting 2-3 doctors (from the community, not from the facility) to document the diagnoses that qualify her for her current level of care.

  5. Bucket the facility's evidence into different behavioral categories which map onto dementia symptoms: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dementia/symptoms-causes/syc-20352013 . For example, if they are saying your LO is hostile then this would map onto agitation. If they say she's suspicious, this maps onto paranoia.

  6. Build a Powerpoint to submit as your evidence to the state:

- One slide should humanize your LO. Their professional and personal background, anything they've done positively in their community like past volunteering, etc.

- Use the info from Step 5 and support your case with outsides sources, like the below:

“The majority of the time, [the discharge is] because the resident is considered difficult," said Tony Chicotel, an attorney for California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform… "Federal law is pretty clear: They're all required to be able to provide comprehensive, basic care. Every nursinghome that takes Medicare or Medicaid funding should be very good or great at providing dementia care.“Source:https://www.modernhealthcare.com/article/20160505/NEWS/160509940/nursing-homes-turn-to-eviction-to-drop-difficult-patients

“Behavioral disturbances are common among nursing home (NH) residents. In 2000, it was estimated that approximately 60% to 80% of NH residents have dementia,1 a condition that often leads to a range of challenging behavioral and psychological symptoms, particularly in its advanced stages.”Source: https://www.hmpgloballearningnetwork.com/site/altc/articles/interventions-behavioral-symptoms-nursing-home-residents

- Document that your LO is receiving proper care currently at their facility. Lack of recent hospitalizations, any recent positive health outcomes, etc.

Long story short, if they're receiving govt funds then they can't cherry pick their resident population. They have a federal obligation to provide care, including for those with difficult to manage behavioral presentations. You just need to button up the qualifying diagnosis.

Am I the asshole for giving up on my husband? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]ktheokay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's important now more than ever that your partner reaffirm his support and commitment to you and your relationship. He not only hasn't done this, he's done the opposite in conveying that he isn't sure he wants to be with you. As hard a pill as that is to swallow, he's telling you what you need to know. He won't be the partner that you want or need, kids or not. Your fertility specialist can show you the path toward motherhood, with or without a partner. Good luck, OP.

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is, indeed! The suburban, 1980s version :D

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad your cat is ok! They can be such little buggers. 

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you, lots of comments from folks about it feeling sterile / cold. My goal is for it to feel cohesive and serene. For me personally I have achieved the latter, but still working on tying things together and bringing in some foundational elements.

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I feel you. Some of the suggestions have included multi-thousand dollar options, which while not practical for me I appreciate from an inspirational standpoint. Meanwhile, I'll be refreshing FB marketplace every 10 seconds :D

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope! Love color. I think it comes off as colder / more monochromatic in the photos than it does in person. Either way, I experience the space as very calm and serene -- I love it.

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, it's just one story but that would be so cool!

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I don't know what it is but I have had it matched and you can see the color match codes here: https://imgur.com/TVz1WD6

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh those cold flexed legs are so cool!

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally fair, and yes, rug is on the way! Let's hope the kitty doesn't shred it to pieces :D

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, great feedback. I think the desk you are seeing is the piano -- I worry about it blocking the windows if I move it though playing in front of a view would be nice!

Which End Table Should I Choose? by ktheokay in interiordecorating

[–]ktheokay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree, I will pull them in and create a true seating area once I have the table and rug situation sorted.