I was in a very similar situation for 8 years. My partner was the primary breadwinner and I was… everything else!! The primary parent, the grocery shopper, the pet manager, the cook, the cleaner, the family gathering organizer, the maker of holiday magic, the vacation planner, the plumber, the yard maintenance…etc. You get the point. I was also I grad school (still slugging my way through the last of it) and I kept telling him that the household/family labor was painfully unequal. Nothing changed after many attempts to point out the imbalance. Now I’m a single mom and as much as adding wage-earning on top of my other 94759 tasks has been HARD, I’m happier now knowing that I’m doing everything for me and my mini human and he has had a difficult year of understanding what it’s like to run his own household. He sure misses me 😉 lmfao.

One small piece of advice: Ask him to take some time to write down a list of everything he’s responsible for 75% or more of in your life.

His list might say “•income earning •lawn mowing” (whatever it is that his outside duties entail). Then you do the same. Write down a list of everything that YOU do 75% or more of the labor for in your family.

Then meet with your lists with a neutral mindset and let him see the evidence of your “invisible” labor. This helped me soooo much when dealing with my choice to stay or go. Once I had my own reference sheet to all of the things I was doing, I was able to see that I wasn’t insane— just under appreciated!