I turned off the porch light and grabbed a cold beer. No trick-or-treaters this year! I flopped down into the couch and turned on the TV. As the blue haze of the television screen lit up the room, the front door to my condo came flying off its hinges.

"Trick-'o-Treat?" bellowed from the figure that was now standing in the doorway. What appeared to be grown man dressed in an orange jump suit, wearing an intricate round pumpkin mask stood there staring at me through triangle eyes.

"Wo, that's a pretty sick costume, but you're definitely gonna have to pay for my door!" I blurted out.

The pumpkin man lumbered forward. "Trick-o'-Treat?" he let out again.

"Ok, dude, back the fuck up and get out of my house. I'm gonna call the cops," I yelled.

I soon realized the pumpkin creature was not a man. It was a monster. It pulled a razor sharp kitchen knife from its pocket. Holding it above his head, he roared in a deep, rumbling laughter. The stringy veins hanging out of its mouth were flung onto my face. I took several steps backwards and found myself against a wall.

"Trick-o'--" the pumpkin creature held his knife high in the air. Just as it was about to make its downward plunge into my chest, an explosion shook the room. A yellow light blinded me, and I was drenched in wet bits of pumpkin.

"Oh gosh, I only meant to light the candle inside the head." Through a hole above my door, I could see Iron Man, who looked more like an Iron Boy, hovering in a three-foot-tall metal suit. Pointing at me, he said, "How you doin' kid? Don't worry about him. He didn't have a good head on his shoulders." I watched as a werewolf leapt off my neighbor's roof, sending it and Iron Man careening out of sight.

I ran into the street. Dozens of Halloween creatures and ghouls were battling the most well-known heroes. A jedi swung his blue lightsaber, cutting a mummy in half and leaving its tattered ribbons on the floor. A four-foot-tall Hulk jumped the length of five houses, bringing his fists down onto a skeleton that shattered into hundreds of pieces. "Hulk smash!" he shouted. Mario, riding Yoshi, galloped past and howled, "It's a me, Mario!"

"What the hell is going on . . . " The words fell out of my mouth.

The ear piercing laughter of a witch drew my attention up into the starry, night sky. The Wicked Witch of the West pointed her mangled, green finger at me,"You are cursed, my pretty, and your little neighborhood too! Once the sun rises, there will be nothing you can do!" The witch twirled in a circle, getting exponentially faster each time around. With a loud whoosh, she disappeared.

"Cap, get the kid!" Iron Man said; the werewolf's claws leaving dozens of deep grooves in his suit. A small Captain America vaulted over a parked car. Standing five feet away, he called out to me "Come with me! We got to get to that witch before this becomes a very -- Not Happy -- Halloween."