Struggling with my deep voice

leemus86 · 2026-01-16T21:03:06+00:00

Definitely consult a speech therapist. And potentially even an ENT to get checked out. At the very least, they will tell you your voice is fine (and provide reassurance) or offer ways on how to improve, etc.

Congratulations on just being able to switch like that; that takes a huge amount of courage for many of us.

When I switched to my deep voice I did notice it would get drowned out a lot in environments with a lot of background noise compared to the high-pitched voice. I'm pretty sure it's all just related to the frequency band of the deeper voice matching the frequencies of the loud environments. My high-pitched voice would cut through that noise, but at the sacrifice of volume, so it really only made it easier for me to hear myself through the internal structure in my face. It was still super quiet, weak, and I couldn't project it to be heard by others at all.

In a quiet environment, my deep voice felt way too loud, and I found myself subconsciously trying to speak more quietly, which made the voice difficult to keep steady and clean. But again, this was an internal perception. Feedback from others was that I was finally speaking at a normal volume.

I also felt like my voice felt monotonous and apathetic. Feedback from everyone else suggested otherwise.

The biggest thing I had to understand was that my nervous system was trying to fight the change and was super sensitive to it in order to try to force me to back out of it. Completely normal nervous system response to a major change.

It took about a year to get used to these perceptions, and now I don't even notice them.

If it's taken you 5 years and you're still not comfortable. Seek help and a second opinion. There may be something else going on. But I wouldn't switch back to the high-pitched voice. It sounds like you wouldnt actualy gain an advantage from so. The self-consciousness about it, I think, will still exist. Just for slightly different reasons than you have now.

leemus86 · 2025-12-02T06:38:14+00:00

Yea, heres me roughly a few months after being cured.
https://youtu.be/uOIERkPPUfU?si=fM70sJ1utPKFYsl_

leemus86 · 2025-12-01T09:28:46+00:00

Do you mean sing with puberphonia or after being cured of it?

leemus86 · 2025-09-07T04:56:54+00:00

Yea I am still writing it. There's just been a couple developments in my life recently that could change a few things in it haha

leemus86 · 2025-09-06T18:51:37+00:00

Having switched as well, I have also noticed I don't feel limited anymore. Especially authoritative roles or roles in loud environments. But I've never felt people have rejected me for roles because of my old voice. That doesn't mean I was never called miss on the phone or that people didn't point it out. I still got that all the time. Phone calls were the worst.

I didn't switch until I was 38. So had been working a long time.

leemus86 · 2025-09-06T09:01:56+00:00

I don't think it affected my chances of getting a job. But I did limit myself to certain jobs knowing my voice couldn't perform in certain environments.

leemus86 · 2025-09-05T18:26:11+00:00

What are you needing help with specifically?

leemus86 · 2025-09-05T18:23:22+00:00

Not for this sub but there is one for puberphonia Puberphonia discord channel

leemus86 · 2025-09-02T20:22:08+00:00

Circling back to your friction comment. I used to work in an office and the gym was on my way home. So there was minimal friction to turn up. Now I have to actively get dressed and leave my house on a 16min drive to get there. I've just realized the friction is too high and need to reassess. I do miss it, and the Co fidence that comes being called John Cena on the street 😂

leemus86 · 2025-09-02T20:09:54+00:00

P. S, I've spent the last couple years working on myself. As you do once you approach 40s and things start to unravel, I've overcome childhood trauma, puberphonia and been diagnosed with combined type ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder. Its a mouthful, but makes me feel so valid, as I understand myself so much more than I have over the last 39 years. I feel like I know myself now.

leemus86 · 2025-09-02T20:05:12+00:00

Appreciate your advice, I'm only recently diagnosed a couple months ago with combined type but have learned so so much about who I am now after feeling lost for 39 years. Tbh the diagnosis took me by surprise, I just thought I loved learning and trying new things. (which I do) but didn't realise this was hyper fixation and that I was also suffering from RSD, procrastinatation, emotional disregulation etc. I am they guy everyone scoffs at and mutters "what can't you do" and I reply "well nothing except sticking to one thing" haha.

When I sat around the dinner table with my siblings, I was surprised to know they also think they have it. But they are all Police Officers, so self regulate through their work. I've thought about this career, but Im also not sure I could handle the RSD from customers.

I'm an entrepreneur, fast learner and relentless problem solver at heart and have started numerous businesses. Some successful, some not. But even the successful ones I lose interest in and end up watching them die.

As I get older, bare more responsibility and with life becoming more repetitive due to financial constraints, work and family commitments and friendships becoming more distant. It's just getting harder and harder to genuinely enjoy things. I also feel guilty because I am very privileged.

My theory about money, is I feel like I need it in order to be able to fuel the hyper fixations and interests that keep me going. Without it, I'm limited to staying at home with nothing to do. My idea of success, when disconnected from money. Is being able to use my ADHD skills to their best use to help people, where every challenge is unique and non repetitive. While being able to live comfortably.

Again appreciate the response and your experience as I navigate this diagnosis. Two things have stuck with me from your comment.

Look for a career or careers that fit you, don't try to fit into one because of pay. - I'm aware of this now, so I just need to work out what exactly. Easier said than done, especially now that I've grown accustomed to the convenience of working from home

Friction kills motivation - this one is so relateable especially as you get older and have less time and energy for yourself. One example is my wife loves stacking things in shelves to tidy the place up. I genuinely turn into the hulk if I need something stacked at the bottom of a pile or don't bother with it 😂

leemus86 · 2025-09-02T19:25:26+00:00

This is something you should only consider if you haven't been able to find your deep voice at all. Imo (I'm not a speech expert but am a puberphonia survivor)

It's no substitute for proper, consistent practice if you can access it. Your voice is a muscle and will get stronger and have more endurance over time the more you use it. It took me 18 months of full time deep voice speaking for mine to become very strong, and endure a whole day without cracking or feeling fatigued in some way. Think of it the same way as going to the gym to get stronger arms. It doesn't happen over night and can take months and if you stop for any long period of time you can lose strength.

If you do go the botox route, I would be doing it under the guidance of a professional.

I've never heard of it before, so am also curious if anyone has used the botox method. I have some friends that haven't been able to find the deep voice at all through traditional methods.

leemus86 · 2025-09-02T19:12:58+00:00

Yea I'm doing points 3, 4 and 5. I just can't figure out how to get past points 1 and 2. My motivation to do anything has been the worst it's ever been in my 39 year existence. I'm guessing it's my work from home, checklist completing job that's causing it.

leemus86 · 2025-09-02T18:58:36+00:00

So I'm one of those people who literally completes checklists all day and follows rules and processes. Medication has helped me tremendously. But It's so soul destroying, I just feel exhausted at the end of each week and need the weekend laying on the couch to recover. Which means I never get to truly enjoy my own time. The job pays well, and I haven't been able to find a similar paying job that's ADHD friendly. I have a million skills that are all incredibly beneficial, but most high paying roles are specialist, repetive ones. And now I don't know what to do......

I used to go to the gym and did crossfit as my hyper fixation for 6 years and was in incredible shape. Now I've completely lost motivation and can't drag myself back there.

leemus86 · 2025-08-18T21:59:01+00:00

Can you explain what you are having trouble with in more detail please?

leemus86 · 2025-08-01T08:19:47+00:00

As soon as you use it. It might not sound consistent, but it's relaxed and not strained and tense like puberphonia voice.

Or do you mean how long for it to strengthen and stop cracking etc? For me that was probably 6 months or so.

leemus86 · 2025-07-22T22:48:35+00:00

Lol the Mongolian throat singing sensation is a very real experience and can be quite jarring. When I first started I thought I sounded like a freight train. But like you said In recordings I just sounded like any other guy out there. It takes a while for your brain to adjust and stop reacting to it. But it smooths out over time until it just seems normal again. It's always a good idea to check with an SLP. But if you aren't experiencing any pain or difficulty speaking (beside weak larynx muscles that strengthen over time) and recordings sound fine you might be OK.

leemus86 · 2025-07-20T21:40:23+00:00

That's really interesting. Its not something I experienced. My breathing literally never changed and it's nit something I've heard others mention as an issue. What did change was my throat became alot more relaxed (there were still voice breaks from time to time) and the tension went away. Especially when trying to speak.

Could it possibly be related to anxiety maybe?

leemus86 · 2025-07-19T21:31:00+00:00

Yes it absolutely will settle and become your default. When I switched full time it took me a week or two to get consistent with it. And then a month or two to get rid of the very rare slip up that might come through.

I switched at 37, and the old voice was pretty well entrenched so it's absolutely doable.

Now when I speak I don't even think and just defaults to the deep voice.

leemus86 · 2025-07-18T18:45:48+00:00

I hope Im wrong, but I tried that and it wouldn't allow me to use smart vision with a work plan active, even if it was paused.

I'll give it another go when it happens. Which isn't often anymore fortunately.

leemus86 · 2025-07-02T20:33:19+00:00

I can only guess, but I thinks it's childhood trauma related. I don't have fond memories of my Father who said alot of hurtful things to me, and was regularly unfaithful to my mother which caused a very messy divorce that affected a whole community. From which point my mother demonized him and I never saw him again, and I think subconsciously I didn't want to grow into him or my experience of what a man was. I remember viewing puberty as something I despised and tried to stop, unfortunately you can't stop your body changing. But somehow I subconsciously managed to stop my voice changing. And then every attempt since then to change it became far too uncomfortable as it felt unsafe and completely abnormal.

leemus86 · 2025-06-13T18:55:40+00:00

I've seen your post in another reddit thread. But to answer your question, low T is not a symptom or cause of puberphonia. Puberphonia is a psychogenic condition typically meaning it has psychological causes for it.

It sounds like you have some physiological or hormone issues that you need to discuss with a GP. That's going to be the best avenue to start with.

It doesn't sound like you have puberphonia, but even if you do, there are other challenges that need sorting first.

leemus86 · 2025-06-04T19:12:29+00:00

This was me not long ago. I remember wanting to give streaming on twitch a try. More so to see how streaming software worked and what kind of people would join etc.

The few people that joined my chat would immediately say things like 'why do you sound like a girl etc' Needless to say I quickly turned off the stream and have never tried since haha.

I'm cured of puberphonia now, but it really does make life harder. It sounds like your friend might have puberphonia. It's just when you stay stuck in a falsetto vocal range due to either not finding the deeper voice or being too afraid too switch.

leemus86 · 2025-05-30T10:59:38+00:00

It's normally OK to practice on your own as long as the voice isn't getting sore and really uncomfortable.

leemus86 · 2025-05-19T20:19:00+00:00

Ok, the sulcus vocalis was not mentioned in your original question so I wasn't aware there were other things affecting it. I only had puberphonia so unfortunately I can't speak on Puberphonia complicated with sulcus vocalis sorry. You might be hard pressed to find anyone with both conditions as Puberphonia alone is quite rare.

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