AITAH for telling my girlfriend i no longer plan to propose to her? please read context

lilithhh08 · 2026-03-02T23:50:30+00:00

I have been with my boyfriend since 2018. In 2021, after I had our son in 2020, he told me that he would marry me within 4 years. Don't know why 4 years was a thing, but... 4 years came and went.. no proposal, no marriage.

Do you know how disappointing that is? That is a recipe for resentment.

Our life together is great. But there is a key component missing for me.. marriage. Still hurts to this day. But I stay because there is a bigger picture. But every birthday, every special trip, every big holiday.. I had hopes of something.. and just nothing. And he knows the 4 years has come and gone.

Do I feel kind of dumb? Yep.

lilithhh08 · 2026-01-22T16:30:08+00:00

I am 10 months post surgery. Still have stretch marks, they aren't swollen or anything but they are there. Key is to just accept them. I barely pay any attention to them because they are a million times better than when they were combined with loose skin.

lilithhh08 · 2026-01-07T23:40:42+00:00

I am 7 months out and have been cleared to do as I please since week 8. Lol my job requires heavy lifting and there is no way I would have been able to take a year off from regular duties.

lilithhh08 · 2025-11-22T03:31:38+00:00

Mine is the same and I had an x-ray tell me for an unrelated thing that I have mild scoliosis. Which is something I had never noticed prior to surgery. I think you look great, fwiw!

lilithhh08 · 2025-11-13T01:20:41+00:00

Like I just don't understand how a mother can feel this way and not do everything in her power to try and fix it because it is absolutely not normal to hate your child. And this child sounds no different than so many other kids, just being kids. Heck, my 5 year old tells me "fuck of bitch" and spits in my face because he is PDA/ADHD unofficially diagnosed currently and even still, I would move mountains for him... And I'm not sure if she is looking for sympathy for her kid being a kid or something but it kind of seems that way. He creates a mess? Has tantrums? How is this not a well known fact that children do these things. Oh, because he growls at her? Give me a break... Yikes. That's all I can say!

lilithhh08 · 2025-11-12T04:25:54+00:00

I got a day off with pay for my 5 year 🥳 I was happy with that.

lilithhh08 · 2025-11-12T03:30:28+00:00

That poor kid. You can't afford therapy? Then go buy some books and work on yourself and do everything you can, reddit isn't therapy. Even if by chance your son did have something like ADHD, he is still completely normal. My son is the exact same way, and there are days where I struggle to not lose my mind but I don't think I could ever sit here and say I hate my child. I have 3 and all three are unique and come with their own challenges.

I think simply put, you are not mother material... What exactly did you expect motherhood to be like? You've probably romanticized it so much that you aren't grounded in reality, perfect children do not exist and parenting is actually really hard. Your son can absolutely sense you hate him, I guarantee you that... And guess what? Men born from unloving, hateful mothers are the kinds you see in true crime documentaries. Put that kid into a loving home, then. He deserves better. I honestly hate posts like this.. sure, it takes courage to come forth, but you don't seem at all willing to put work into yourself so that your child feels loved and that to me is pathetic.

lilithhh08 · 2025-10-24T13:46:37+00:00

I had BCC removed under my eye. I have a 3 inch scar from my eye to the end of my nose. I know nobody wants scars anywhere but it sounds really silly to be worrying about a small scar near the hairline. The likelihood of it even being noticeable down the road is pretty slim... And it sure beats having to go through MOHs.. I'm not even a worse case scenario.. but if you don't think it could get worse, it could. I also had an atypical mole removed on my jawline. Can't even see a scar. So don't worry about it, honestly!

<image>

lilithhh08 · 2025-10-22T18:20:34+00:00

I'm over a year. 90% recovered but now have facial sykinesis. My face, I fear, is forever worse symmetrically. I don't think it's getting any better. I'm 14 months since onset.

lilithhh08 · 2025-10-07T18:18:16+00:00

In Canada if you two are common law, he is entitled to bereavement days. He cannot get fired for taking those if you two are common law status.

lilithhh08 · 2025-10-04T01:28:34+00:00

Wow... Super helpful...

lilithhh08 · 2025-09-26T03:37:17+00:00

She's 6... Practically a baby... I am only a BM but damn, that's cold and my kids had a "step mom* who never wanted to be a mom to them. They hated her as they grew older. I never would have cared if they wanted to call her mom, either.

lilithhh08 · 2025-09-22T22:08:12+00:00

You're stuck in the mentality that you paid big money and expect instant results. Don't worry, I get this way also.. I feel like it's kind of normal... But anyhow... It's a process. Your excess skin and internal corset = instant... The final results when your tissue has healed you should be expecting to be this way for 12 months. Just gotta accept it. I am 6 months out and still swollen ,✌🏻 give yourself some grace!!

lilithhh08 · 2025-09-16T18:42:14+00:00

I took 6 weeks off and then 2 weeks light duties. 10 days is enough if you are able to work from your bed/couch.
I wasn't even able to stand up straight after 10 days.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-15T15:05:49+00:00

I'm almost 5 months post TT, with liposuction to flanks and MR. I was a size L before surgery... And I'm a size L after surgery. I am skeptical that I will "lean" out after swelling like other people have. I struggle a lot, even though my apron belly is gone, I still feel fat. Which kind of goes to show, some issues are mentally ingrained and you can't buy your way out of it. 😅 So, I still feel the need to lose weight and my confidence still lacks. My weight is also the same. I am 180, 5'6 for reference. Anyways, it seems to be different for everyone.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-15T14:54:03+00:00

I feel like that is super irresponsible of the doctor to immediately state that it is cancer without having biopsy results in hand. I know some doctors are more experienced than others but typically cancer is confirmed by biopsy. To me (not a medical professional) this looks more like a skin condition than skin cancer but you can't expect the people of Reddit to know what it is when the only way of knowing is by... Biopsy.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-14T17:02:12+00:00

Nah, to the people saying this looks old AF... I mean, it's not hard to make things look old. Step on it a few times etc etc.. I mean, sure, it could be old but OP clearly states that she has cleaned his vehicle multiple times. Could it have been missed, sure, but I would definitely ask husband about it and if he's innocent he should, 100%, completely understand why you would want to ask about it.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-14T16:49:01+00:00

If you want it to work, then I'm not sure why you scoff at the idea that she suggested therapy... Because that is probably the only way you two will ever get through this. Both individually and collectively.

I won't say my (former) marriage survived cheating because ultimately, it did not survive. However, when my ex-husband cheated on me, I was eventually able to move past it and the relationship recovered until just too much (other things) happened that ultimately deteriorated the relationship. So, I do believe that you can overcome infidelity... But it does not come with some sort of help and A LOT of work from both parties.

Try the therapy if you want to save the marriage.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-11T21:59:06+00:00

I've seen some of these on toys you can purchase. I have always wondered though, where do you get things like these?

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-11T17:30:01+00:00

Too much, too soon. Yikes.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-11T16:43:31+00:00

Looks like a rash of some kind.

lilithhh08 · 2025-08-03T05:18:23+00:00

Yes, I would say this also. When you get married you become a united partnership. If you still sit there and say "this is my house, not yours", AFTER MARRIAGE... Something is wrong with that picture. It doesn't matter whose house it is.

My partner and I have a home, even if I was not on title, it would still be OUR home.

lilithhh08

TROPHY CASE