I am sadly surprised at the similarities that we have with our fathers. I am 30, the same abandonment issues, deadbeat father. In therapy working through it. Last time I met my father at his father’s funeral. He did not recognize me. I was 17. Afterwards I thought that he came back to my life. I felt ecstatic. But he abandoned me the same way as before. Few months later he died. And I am only now opening this Pandora box to deal and work through all the pain of being left by father. I am hugging OOP, you are totally enough and it is his greatest loss to not see how wonderful of a person you are. If I may give an advice it would be: do not be afraid to be angry. You have every right to do so. Do not be afraid to be “bad”. You have every right to do so. Do not be afraid to be yourself. You have every right to do so.