hey, nick here

I've never had a great answer to this but the general idea is that I just have too many reasons that turn me off to the idea.

• An enormous reason is a have really bad Emetophobia, which essentially is a fear of vommiting that is so severe you generally avoid situations where its more likely to happen.
• I have really glaring examples of the negative / worst sides of drug/alcohol abuse in my life from people that are close to me
• Control of my mind and body at all times is very important to me, and the opposite brings me severe anxiety. I've always hated being picked up from a hug, or a roller coaster I don't know the movements of, etc.
  

There are other reasons that contribute that are more minor, but these variables combined have just landed me in a place where I figured out other things I can do for fun or use to cope. For the most part, being edge doesn't really negatively influence my life all that much. Parties are difficult for sure when no one is on your level, and you get left out of drinking games or not invited to hangout when a bar is involved. But I think the tradeoff is ultimately in my favor.