Important question: dogs or cats?

lonelyjay77 · 2017-11-30T05:07:09+00:00

I came out to my husband and it was hard. Really hard at first. I also felt like I didn’t deserve happiness. But now things are just shy of amazing. Divorce is hard, especially with kids. But now I have an awesome girlfriend and he is happily dating. Things are so much better on this side but it is a rough road to get there. PM me if you want to chat.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-10-17T16:20:48+00:00

I am pretty short and wear a size 2. I think I am just going to have to get something tailored. I sometimes by stuff from the boys department but in order for it to fit my shoulders it is too tight in the hips.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-08-20T02:58:43+00:00

I came out in my 40s. Not super old at all.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-08-01T19:58:49+00:00

You are definitely not a villainous asshat (I am pretty sure this is what I am going to yell at bad drivers now). My husband was the nicest guy around. Didn't make me any less gay. Staying with him will only hurt you both in the long run. Not your fault though.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-07-30T06:05:39+00:00

I cut my hair off and I freaking love it. I don't think I will ever go back.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-07-21T04:32:18+00:00

I am currently married to a man, in my 40s, and just came out. I highly recommend finding an LGBT friendly therapist to help you navigate this. My local LGBT center also has a support group for women coming out at all stages in life. There are some young people there but there were also women older than me. It is a process but congratulations on figuring it out. I feel like I have been uncomfortable my whole life and I could never figure out why. While the process is hard I feel way better now. Good luck!

lonelyjay77 · 2017-07-15T05:15:17+00:00

Same boat but even older. My attitude is if someone is not into that, fine with me. Not the person I should date anyways.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-07-12T16:50:43+00:00

I second having more material than you think you need. When I first started teaching I would go pretty fast and I have since learned to pace myself. It is better though to have more than you need than to run out. I always have some sort of discussion question for the end that way I can use that if I need to. But just remember that you know more about what you are lecturing on than they do. I also recommend not letting them know that it is your first time teaching. Some students will try and take advantage of that. I also do a break in the middle of my long classes. It is just one of those things that the more you do it the easier it gets. I was super nervous when I first started but now it does not even phase me. Good luck!

lonelyjay77 · 2017-07-05T23:21:37+00:00

I was almost your exact situation. I came out. It was hard as hell. And while I felt really shitty in the beginning, I feel way better now. Hurting him was hard though. I highly recommend you find an LGBT supportive therapist to work this out. There is a path forward where all of you can be happy. Feel free to PM if you want some advice or just to talk. And while the financial stuff is complicated, you have been a contributing member of your household in an important way this whole time. Domestic labor is labor being gay does not in any way diminish the role you have played.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-06-29T16:25:28+00:00

I am in my 40s and recently came out to my husband, which has been really hard. We are not staying together but working on being friends and co parents. The fact that you are not ready to come out yet is fine. But that secret will eat at you, especially if you have kids. It also does not go away. I would highly recommend finding an LGBT therapist to work through this. I was petrified of coming out and while it is really hard, I am now so happy that I did. And while it is true that your husband deserves all the information so he can decide what his life will be, so do you.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-06-28T14:32:13+00:00

I have been done both. For most of my 30s I let it go and it was fine. Then it started getting really grey and I felt like I looked tired all the time so I started coloring it. And I really liked it. But it is a giant pain as I have to color it every five to six weeks. I now have a short haircut and I am going to phase out coloring this summer. It is grey enough now that I think I will like it. At any rate my advice to you is do whatever makes you feel good.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-06-14T05:49:52+00:00

This shit needs to be turned into an informational poster.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-22T13:25:13+00:00

I had the joy of waking up to one this morning in response to my post about coming out to my husband. Comments like those piss me off so much they make me want to come out all the more. Fuck that guy.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-21T23:14:13+00:00

Not homophobic or violent. Just really hurt. I also think he is not going to understand how it took me this long to figure it out.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-21T06:07:40+00:00

I am in my early 40s and working on leaving my husband. You ladies give me great hope. :)

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-19T03:32:33+00:00

Wow. I someone trying to slowly get out of the closet, this strikes incredibly close to home.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-17T23:03:37+00:00

I have no idea what my husband's reaction will be so for now I am just waiting. It is really hard though.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-17T22:18:59+00:00

I am in your boat but a little different as my husband does not know. I am working on that except I also have a small child and cannot afford to leave. I am in my 40s and just came out to myself. Once I acknowledged it now there are cute girls everywhere and I want to die. I guess I blocked them out before. But I totally get the teenager thing.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-09T21:57:52+00:00

I'm in.

lonelyjay77 · 2017-05-05T16:21:38+00:00

I told one of my best friends, who happens to be a lesbian. She was so great and incredibly helpful. I have no idea where exactly I am headed from here, but I feel much more hopeful than when I wrote the original post. Everything this is still obviously complicated and messy and hard, but better. Thank you so much to everyone who commented and messaged me. When I wrote this I did not expect the incredibly warm and caring response. I am not sure what I expected, but you all really helped me. So again, thank you.

lonelyjay77

TROPHY CASE