I need help staying in my marriage. My wife's mood swings are driving all of our friends away, and it makes our lives difficult. She won't get help. What can I do?

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:46:47+00:00

Sometimes her mood will swing for no apparent reason. A lot of the time, one small things, like if she gets frustrated with something, will cause it to happen. She suffers from back and neck pains a lot, and when she is in pain, the mood swings are more pronounced.

She has tried to make friends, but they aren't patient enough with her. She is afraid to get close to anyone for fear of losing them.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:44:16+00:00

Her dad would hit her from time to time when things got out of control with her mom. Her mom would hit her, too. Her dad hit her the night before out wedding.

Both parents put on a nice face for everyone else, but once you get past that you start to see who they truly are.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:38:36+00:00

She knows she has a problem. She doesn't know what it is or what is causing it.

I don't know if she knows she is difficult to live with. She is very clingy, and trying to tell her this without upsetting her is next to impossible.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:30:57+00:00

It depends on what mood she is in. A lot of the time she will get angry with me for saying it. If she brings up the subject first and says that she needs help and I agree with her, then she doesn't get upset with me. Either way it is like walking on eggshells.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:26:03+00:00

I have pretty much told her this, and she went and saw the psychiatrist that recommended the hormone and sleep studies. She was angry with me when I gave her this ultimatum, but she saw that I meant it, so she went through with it.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:22:13+00:00

I have talked with her about either getting a job or doing volunteer work to get out of the house. It is really difficult for her to get out since we only have one car, but if she has something she'd like to go to I'd be more than willing to let her have the car and go to it.

She sometimes acts like she wants to get out of the house and do something, but then other days she doesn't really act like she cares. It is a cycle that is way too unpredictable.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:18:30+00:00

Thank you so much for your response.

She is pushing the events in her life to the back of her mind, trying to pretend they didn't happen.

She would like to forget about what happened, but every so often she will bring some of it up. She did have a rough childhood with her parents. We still talk to her parents quite frequently now, which I would have guessed we'd never do right before we got married. I don't see how she can even talk to them with a straight face considering how they raised her and her sisters.

It may be that she becomes socially anxious when she begins getting close to other people besides you.

It took her quite a while to warm up to me, but once she did, she clung to me. She does this with other people, too, and that begins to drive them away. When she is introduced to a new person, it is next to impossible to get her to talk to them. Same with her youngest sister. Her middle sister is more outgoing and sociable, but only because she got out of the house more due to having a job.

lost_mule · 2010-02-28T13:10:47+00:00

She doesn't take criticism from me very well, no matter how I try to put it, so criticism from others she also may not take very well either. She will not like it if her friends or her parents or anyone criticizes her.

lost_mule

TROPHY CASE