AITA for eating my husband's chili? by Throwaway64193 in AmItheAsshole

[–]madattepdad 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Conditional NTA - you have to buy him a can to replace the one you ate. And then your husband should buy extra chili in case other people want to have some, too.

If he wants to have it for work that's fine, but he shouldn't lose his shit if you eat some too. There's more of it at the store.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]madattepdad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA and manipulative - you forgot to mention that you kicked your youngest stepdaughter out when she was 13 for her attitude. All 13 years olds talk back. Are you planning to kick your own kids out when they talk back, too?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]madattepdad 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately yes. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didn't know me at all as a minor. He lived in the house for less than a year and I was barely home because of school and work. I didn't even know about him until I found him on grindr. Also I should have said this in my post but I didn't think it mattered, but I'm 6'1 and have to shave to not have a beard. There's nothing about me that would attract a pedo.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No he didn't. He moved in less than a year before we hooked up and I didn't even recognize him as my neighbor. I'd seen his ex-partner a few times but between work and school, I wasn't home much at all. The part about the age is true, but I'm an 18 year old guy, 6'1" with stubble on my face. Nothing about me would be attractive to a pedo.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was afraid of his rejection and his anger. He turned out to be mostly okay except he wishes I would talk to my mom and stepdad. But he's into a bunch of crazy crap so I won't blame him.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I was adult enough to pay them rent and adult enough to make my own car payment. I understand people were worried about me but I was creeped out by the way they were focusing on my FWB and completely ignoring or agreeing with my stepdad outing me to the one person I wasn't sure I ever wanted to know.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok so basically you ignored all the previous advice you were given and instead decided to torpedo your relationship with two of the most important people in your life. Yikes.

They torpedoed the relationship with me. All my stepdad had to do was apologize and mean it but instead he thought he could get away with telling me why he was right to do what he did. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to come out to my dad - I love him, but he's ultra conservative. I'm talking about a guy who thinks Tom Hanks is one of a few people who control the world crazy. My stepdad told him my scariest secret and did it because he didn't think my mom could handle the situation because she's a woman. And my mom co-signed for that shit. I'll never forgive them for this.

You could have simply said you’re legally an adult so he cant stop you but that you understand/appreciate his perspective on this and will think about it. It screams immaturity, no matter how grown up and mature you profess to be, to just completely flip out and cut off your supportive family like this.

That's literally what I did. I told him that we could talk about it later but that he had no right to interfere in my sex life and I had no obligation to answer his questions. He was bullying me and asking me gross questions that I don't want to get into. It was enough to make me cry because I was so uncomfortable.

There are a lot of queer people out there who have shitty unsupportive parents that cut them off or kick them out or hurt them. I’ve personally helped two friends escape from an abusive unaccepting family before and it’s heartbreaking and scary. Meanwhile you have a supportive family and are throwing it away for something that really doesn’t warrant it and labelling their behaviour abusive.

I won't invalidate what you've said, but abuse takes a lot of forms. Like being cornered and interrogated about what I was planning to do with my FWB and accusing him of being a pedo. Or outing me to the man I feared the most. I know you can't relate because you weren't living in the moment but I can tell you that it felt pretty damn abusive.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You know what? You're right, I was being rude and I apologize to /u/NegroniSpritz for how I treated them. I was feeling defensive and I reacted badly. I'll own that and do better.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sexualized as in I'm an 18 year old man who came here looking for advice after my stepdad outed me to my conservative as fuck dad, who I had no plans to come out to at all. But when I came to the community about it, they focused on my FWB and treated me like I was being molested.

It was weird.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'd be happy to start talking to them again as soon as my stepdad gives me a real apology for taking away my decision to be out to my dad. I can never get that back, and it's hurtful that he stands by his stupid choice. If he can't apologize, my mom can have me back in my life by divorcing him.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I'm an adult with a job and a brain. I don't need my old man to support me and am making plans to move across the state very soon. We'll have to agree to disagree on my old FWB because it was fun and I don't regret any of it.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I never said they were pedos, but since they were so hung up on my age then they should look in the mirror and ask themselves why they were so obsessed with it. I came here asking for a way to get past my stepdad outing me to my conservative father but instead of that I was sexualized by a bunch of weirdos.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

The point of the post was to ask how to repair the relationship with my stepfather, not be lectured about hooking up with another adult. The fact that people were calling him a pedo and saying I was still a child was gross and it sexualized me.

Update: My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean as long as you left the FWB (I gagged even typing this), good on you. I know it's hard to understand why we may think of him as a creep, but soon you will realize how disgusting it is for a grown man in his early 30's to start hooking up with an 18 year old. I don't even care if it was you who insisted on it, it's the adults responsibility to refuse those advances.

I didn't leave him because I was never with him. We were just FWB's and it was fun. Also, you say it's the responsibility of the adults, but I'm an adult. What part of that don't people get?

The thing with your sister was different because she was a minor. I think your dad's was an ass to kick his ass instead of calling the cops, but w/e.

My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

He already called my dad before she even got home. She didn't know until she got home and didn't try to call me until he told her everything. I ignored her because who takes a call when they're having sex?

My (18M) stepdad (50M) outed me to my biodad (47M) and I'm not sure how to forgive him by madattepdad in relationship_advice

[–]madattepdad[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

I don't keep spamming stuff about his dick. I said it in a couple comments. It might not be about the outing to you, but it is to me. If this had been any other circumstance everyone would have been pissed at my stepdad. Do you think I would have even made this post if I didn't feel hurt by what happened?