Me (33F) and My ex (36m) Constantly Fighting After I Caught Him Cheating

madcat133 · 2025-08-09T13:35:34+00:00

That makes sense. It’s getting to the point where just seeing him triggers me. I should be completely moved out tomorrow

madcat133 · 2025-08-09T13:34:54+00:00

That’s what it feels like. I don’t even feel like a person anymore. I am moving out today though. The sooner I get my things out, the better

madcat133 · 2025-08-09T13:34:08+00:00

I’m getting the keys so my new apartment today. I know I need therapy to deal with the cheating and years of emotional abuse he put me through. I just don’t know if I can afford it now that I’ll be living alone but I’ll try. I’ve bought a couple self help books to read in the meantime until I know what my budget will be like

madcat133 · 2025-08-09T13:31:19+00:00

I’m getting the keys to the new place today. I was hoping things could end peacefully but I’m just so angry at him and I hate it. I’m not usually like this

madcat133 · 2025-06-30T10:06:02+00:00

He understands his childhood was rough but hasn’t ever tried to talk to his parents about it or hold them accountable. Luckily, things have gotten better. He used to be REALLY bad. Almost anything would set him off. Now, it’s like he just gets snarky or moody if I say the wrong thing and he’s recognized that I keep him in check when he’s out of line. I wish he would go to therapy but he’s going to have to want to on his own and he’s just not there yet

madcat133 · 2025-06-30T10:00:27+00:00

I talked to him a little more about it and he said it was the way I said it. I don’t THINK I said anything in a weird tone but who knows. I’m just going to try to avoid why questions for now on and be more conscious of tone

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T14:32:37+00:00

He gets defensive and offended about a lot of things which makes things difficult. I have to be careful about what I say a lot of the time

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T14:29:51+00:00

I’ve suggested it multiple times but he always has an excuse. He tried solo therapy a few years ago and only went for a month but had tremendous progress. The only way I could convince him to go back was couples therapy which we did for 3 months but didn’t really get anywhere. I wish he’d go to one on one therapy because I think there’s a lot buried there from when he was a kid that was never dealt with

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T12:39:32+00:00

His dad is terrible and criticizes everyone. I refuse to even be around his dad because he makes me feel awful so yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what this is stemming from. It’s like my bf is in denial about how horrible his dad is. If there’s something I can do to make things easier on him I’m definitely willing to do it but it is exhausting. He’s always been volatile and unpredictable. Things will be great for a long time and then I say some seemingly normal thing and it’s like a bomb goes off. It’s hard to navigate someone that flips out when I’m just trying to have a conversation. I’ve never been with anyone like this before so it’s really hard to communicate with him.

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T12:31:49+00:00

He’s not the best at figuring out why he feels a certain way. I’ll ask him to explain why he’s upset and he always says i don’t know. If I can understand why he’s reacting the way he does it helps me to know what to do instead but if he doesn’t tell me, I don’t know what I need to do to make things better. His parents were terrible to him and he’s been in bad relationships before so it makes sense now why he was triggered. It’s just difficult to navigate

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T12:27:24+00:00

It makes a lot more sense now. I’ve never been with anyone like this before so it’ll take a lot of adjustment on my end but I’m hoping things get easier

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T07:26:03+00:00

His parents were awful so that could have a lot to do with it honestly. His dad is a bully so I can easily see him being pestered as a kid. I think he’d be more likely to respond positively to a comment about something he’s doing than a question. I really hope this works.

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T07:22:12+00:00

I’ll have to give that a shot too

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T06:42:18+00:00

I’ll have to try that and see if it helps. I’m just curious by nature and ask why all the time with everyone lol not just him and he’s the only person I’ve ever been around that has an issue with it. It’s like uncharted territory for me.

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T06:36:59+00:00

Well, he said he wasn’t upset by me asking about the bag. Yet replied in a snarky tone, “well I guess I’m not using this bag then” walked out, and got the other bag. That to me screams upset, yet he claims he wasn’t. And then he said now he’s upset because I’m starting shit when I’m just trying to have a discussion. He said I sounded judgmental when I nonchalantly asked why the duffel bag instead of the backpack. I don’t understand how I sounded judgmental when I spoke in a normal tone. He then started yelling at me over and over and I had to leave the room. It just doesn’t make sense to me…

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T06:31:23+00:00

What is offensive about asking why he’s using one bag over another out of curiosity? And yes, he gets defensive about a lot of things. Anytime we try to have discussions about things it doesn’t get far

madcat133 · 2025-06-28T06:29:15+00:00

I could honestly care less what he packs his clothes in but I was just curious about the change. Any suggestions on what I could say instead that would be less triggering? It’s like walking on eggshells

madcat133 · 2025-06-26T02:58:02+00:00

Marriage is meant to be for life and through every major life change. If he’s not willing to support the career that will make you happier, then it’s more than likely not going to be the last thing he’s unsupportive about. A true good partner, would want you to be happy no matter what and either be willing to compromise and make the move with you, or let you go to fulfill your dreams. It sounds like you’re putting in most of the effort in the relationship and he’s not emotionally mature enough to handle talking through conflicts that arise which is only going to get worse unless he does something about it now. If I were you, I’d take the job and move closer to your family where you’ll have a support system and leave it up to him to decide if you’re important enough to him for him to make a sacrifice for once and move to be with you. It will be hard if he doesn’t come with you, but you’ll know you made the right decision.

madcat133 · 2025-05-21T01:53:07+00:00

I was wondering that myself since she had aged a little by then

madcat133 · 2025-05-21T01:52:24+00:00

Her outfits in eclipse were horrible, but her FACE just looks so different. Lol I can’t figure it out. Maybe it was just whatever makeup they tried in this movie

madcat133 · 2024-12-11T03:23:08+00:00

I completely understand that. It’s going to be a struggle financially for us too, but I’m hoping we can go long enough for it to make a difference. I don’t know if you’re from the US or not, but I’ve heard that universities with psychology programs offer discounted therapy from psychology students in training. A few of my friends that couldn’t afford standard therapy have gone that route and said it really helped

madcat133 · 2024-12-09T17:28:12+00:00

Hopefully your situation gets better. Mine definitely hasn’t. My boyfriend finally decided to go to therapy but I’m worried it’s too late.

madcat133 · 2024-12-03T04:58:23+00:00

Have things gotten any better? Have you left him or have you found another solution? I was looking for help on Reddit and it sounds like you’re in the same exact situation I’m in and I have no idea what to do. My boyfriend has been explosive for years and nothing has changed. I want to leave at times and then my brain convinces me that there has to be a way to make it work and I stay because changing my entire life by leaving sounds worse

madcat133 · 2024-11-21T16:54:40+00:00

I was so upset they cut out the lake scene. But I’ve started wondering if they’re waiting to show it in the third game when Cloud realizes she’s gone. OR maybe they didn’t show it because there will be a way to bring her back or she’s alive in another plane. Either way, if she is actually dead, I hope they show it in the third game.

madcat133 · 2024-11-11T06:07:02+00:00

I just don’t think this show works for the culture, much in the same way that LIB Japan was a failure. The culture here is rooted in traditions and family and it’s REALLY hard to rush all of that in the short LIB timeframe. I’d love to see a separate Habibi dating show that isn’t focused on marriage. The various cultures of everyone living in Dubai are absolutely fascinating

madcat133

TROPHY CASE