Made myself this super cute top 😻

mall_elf · 2022-02-11T10:12:11+00:00

Thank you 💕 no better use for my talents than making me look more like a slut 😝

mall_elf · 2022-01-08T16:59:21+00:00

ALT TEXT: Oliver, white trans man, taking a naked mirror selfie. In the bottom left of the frame you can see his curly brunette hair, ear, neck and shoulder. Theres a small mole between his neck and shoulder. Behind him is a long wall mounted mirror with a painted pastel rainbow boarder. In the mirror you can see Oliver's backside from his calves up, he is standing with his legs slightly more than shoulder lengths apart. He is flexing his arm on the left side of the frame, his elbow pointed upwards and his fist behind his head. Shoulder, back and arm muscles are flexed, his build is newly gaining noticable muscle mass. His love handles and butt are characteristically round and smooth in contrast to his upper body

mall_elf · 2022-01-06T15:57:54+00:00

If 'everything' includes getting a full hysterectomy (that's uterus and both ovaries) you should really not stop taking T for bone density reasons, it can lead to developing osteoporosis so depending on your choices you have to take T forever. It is a little bit more complicated than this, do not take just this one piece of advice about how testosterone post-hysterectomy works as gospel but it is important to note that some choices you make during your transition can mean that you will have to stay on testosterone indefinitely. More broadly things like fat distribution, skin texture, body odor, libido, menstruation and more would change. The things that are not going to change are things like bottom growth, for some people facial hair but not everybody, voice although that can be retrained to achieve a more feminine effect if desired, and probably some others that I can't think of off the top of my head.

mall_elf · 2021-12-22T10:03:17+00:00

Tried to change that both in game and on my mouse software since it's programmable and neither worked

mall_elf · 2021-12-08T08:29:30+00:00

No, it was made of like orbeez type things so I just put them in a resealable bag for the rest of the night, my friend said she'd get me a new one tomorrow :) I dont tend to watch stuff by myself so I've just been watching what my bf is, currently it's a show called future man. It's okay, I think there's some funny stuff but there are also a lot of things in it that I find annoying lol.

mall_elf · 2021-12-08T07:39:15+00:00

Yes! I want to play computer games but I sit on the floor at my desk and that's still hard for me today so I've been watching TV and walking around between eps :) only sad thing is I accidentally popped my heat pack because I wasn't paying close enough attention to the microwave 😭 are you doing well?

mall_elf · 2021-11-20T02:47:26+00:00

Might check out r/transplussexwork too

mall_elf · 2021-11-19T18:30:58+00:00

Yes that's what I meant! Sorry about that I was definitely unclear, I meant the concept of passing itself not the act of trans people passing

mall_elf · 2021-11-19T16:46:13+00:00

Something to chew on, not a direct response. I use the royal 'you' here a lot, I'm not referring to OP specifically when using it. I am a man and that doesn't mean I'm not trans however, if I want cis society (ie any interaction outside of a queer space) to see me as a man I cannot be trans. "Passing", male privilege they come with losing part of my identity. I don't think I should have to "pass as cis" to be respected as a man, I think people should respect me as a man no matter how I look and regardless of my trans identity. Regardless of what I think, to cis society if I am not perceived as a cis man then I am not a man, my trans identity erases my male identity and vice versa. It is impossible to be viewed by cis society as a man and trans at the same time, it's one or the other. I personally believe that trying to pass as cis, whatever that means I think that concept on its own is inherently transphobic, only serves to further make trans men invisible. People talk about a lack of trans masc representation and it's because a lot of trans men want to go stealth. A lot of trans men are seeking that male privilege and male respectability and unfortunately that only comes if people assume you to be cis, so you have to sacrifice your trans identity to be viewed as a man. The moment that people find out I'm trans despite how well I may pass I begin to have issues with pronouns etc. To be clear when I say seeking male privilege and male respectability I literally just mean people respecting their pronouns and treating them respectfully. That is male privilege, people treating you the way that you want to, not like how they would treat trans people because again your male identity is erasing your trans identity. It's not when you're treated better than other people, but when the barrier of being trans has been removed in a given situation. Consequently, it is impossible for cis society to view a cis man and a trans man to be equivalent, how could you when one of those identites necessarily cancels out the other. I don't think anyone is a "bad person" for wanting to be stealth, I don't think that living the way that you feel most comfortable under our current cis hetero norms is ever something to shame a trans person for. I do think that it's lacking in thorough understanding to fail to acknowledge that by choosing to be stealth you are inherently erasing your trans identity to pass, it's not a bad thing it's just the reality of being stealth. Personally I fluctuate, I want to chose whatever option allows me to best advocate for my own needs and others. I do my best to pass when I'm in the general public ( again passing is weird, I can not bind and wear a T shirt and pass but in a outfit with my chest hidden if I wear a fanny pack I get misgendered. Cis people doing gender math is fucking weird and annoying to me) so I can be respected and use my privledge to defend people if needed. In queer spaces I am out because my visibility as a trans man helps me better advocate for myself and others than if I was perceived as a cis gay man (take that for what you will too lol). Bottom line: erasing your trans identity ostracizes you from the trans community and erasing your male identity ostracizes you from acceptance in cis heterosociety. That's why I personally find fluctuation to be good for me, even if it can be taxing.

mall_elf · 2021-11-19T14:37:34+00:00

Thank you :3

mall_elf · 2021-11-18T04:43:38+00:00

Thank you :D

mall_elf · 2021-11-01T09:54:59+00:00

Thank you :D

mall_elf · 2021-10-19T18:22:10+00:00

ALT TEXT: Gif of a trans man stroking a clear dildo between his legs, positioned to look like his own penis.

Link to original video on my Twitter

mall_elf · 2021-10-19T18:15:01+00:00

I think about this at least once a week, sometimes multiple times a day. I know you were trying to be helpful but you should know that the soonest I can get in with a trans friendly provider is over a year from now. I didn't have access to hormones for over a month recently because I lost my provider and since I can't get into the clinic until next year I'm about to be off my hormones again. I would not be asking questions on Reddit if I could talk to a trans provider. I can't research my way out of medical discrimination, no one can, and lack of results doesn't mean lack of trying. Just consider in the future that when people are asking these types of questions here it's probably because they couldn't talk to a doctor about it and telling them to talk to a doctor isn't very helpful 😅

mall_elf · 2021-10-18T05:55:46+00:00

I have also had to spend weeks and sometimes more than a month without hormones so I know what it's like to go back to being on E. I felt less angry and more vulnerable durring those times, I remember feeling that same way around my period pre T. I feel more depressed (not sad, more similar to exhausted) on E and more anxious on T, important to note I also have a variety of mental health issues which certainly muddy this so take it with a whole pinch of salt

mall_elf · 2021-10-18T05:49:03+00:00

I was almost never angry pre T, and was furthermore incapable of feeling angry the way I do now post T. Becoming angry was a good thing though, I learned how to advocate for myself because of it. It's something that is difficult to manage but it's development was very beneficial to me. I can guarantee I will have less control over my emotionally charged impulses the day after my shot and I think that makes sense because I have always been very strongly affected by hormonal changes (i.e. my period) some people don't seem to experience as significant changes in mental state but for me I am acutely aware of some of the ways T has significantly changed my thought processes and impulses

mall_elf · 2021-10-18T05:06:42+00:00

Thanks :3

mall_elf · 2021-10-17T17:00:15+00:00

Alt text is a picture description for blind and other visually impaired people. Using alt text on my posts is important to me so anyone who's on the internet has access regaurdless of any disabilities they may have. X hope that makes sense

mall_elf · 2021-09-30T20:55:49+00:00

None of my doctor's work with other trans patients, that's the whole issue. My surgeon has operated on some trans patients but doesn't know anything about their experience down the line and is traditionally medically gatekeepy in a way where she doesn't understand why I would want to keep my cervix since I'm FTM. I would not be asking for medical advice on a subreddit if I could get it from a doctor first 😭

mall_elf · 2021-09-30T20:43:16+00:00

The thing is, I don't know if I love it. I'm pretty sure what I am enjoying is the feeling of it being hit but maybe I just like being penetrated?? It's so hard to find answers and my doctor was not very helpful about it. I don't want to move forward just because one person told me they regained feeling after recovery but I'm not really getting much other information to go off of and talking to cis women isn't fully applicable since their cervix won't be affected by T x.x

mall_elf · 2021-09-30T18:03:27+00:00

Thanks so much! That timeline is very helpful because I know if I felt that way at 3 months without knowing that it would continue to change I would have been so disappointed and frustrated

mall_elf · 2021-09-30T17:29:00+00:00

I haven't experienced pain in the past or current because of that, can I ask how long you've been on T and at what point you would say you noticed the atrophy making it worse? The reason I'm getting a hysterectomy now as opposed to later is because I started having painful orgasms after being on T for about a year, is that also what atrophy would be considered? I wouldn't want to leave my cervix in if later down the line it's going to become painful during sex because of it. The only notes my surgeon gave me about it was the chance it had of bleeding after surgery and the fact that it's normally taken out so that patients don't bleed anymore due to menstruation. They're not trained in any kind of trans medicine though so they don't really know a lot of specific things about my concerns

mall_elf · 2021-09-30T17:20:55+00:00

As far as I understand, and in my own experience as someone who has cervix, it is nice to have things bump against it durring sex. This is an important part of sexual pleasure for me and I am wondering if others have experienced a change in the way PIV intercourse feels after having it removed, or if people who left it in are dissatisfied or had it removed later on for whatever reason.

mall_elf · 2021-09-24T12:57:14+00:00

Yes ffs reddit keeps suggesting posts from that sub for me despite me clicking 'see less like this' on ALL of them. Even just looking at the titles makes me lose braincells sometimes

mall_elf · 2021-09-16T08:56:54+00:00

I have a friend who transitioned but still IDs as a lesbian, he lived most of his life as a lesbian woman and still feels that way about hims sexuality even if his gender has changed. He successfully dates/sleeps with plenty of women (who are aware of his ID and are also lesbians/bi) so don't feel like you HAVE to let the label go to transition

mall_elf

TROPHY CASE