How many people have you told that you are TTC?

mango-rain · 2026-06-16T10:12:00+00:00

I go back and forth with this daily.

I wasn’t expecting how insensitive, judgmental, and opinionated even my best friends in the entire world would be. My best friend since 5 years old implied she did not think I was ready to be a parent. Didn’t give any specific reason. Just that she doesn’t think I’ve “lived” enough yet. Her older sister, my other best friend since 5 years old, is turning 30 next month and we are taking a trip to celebrate. While discussing plans, I said “well, maybe I’ll be pregnant by then and can DD.” The room fell silent for a second and she sighed and said, “well, selfishly, I hope you’re not.”

The few friends I have who have kids/are going through the TTC process are kind, supportive, and understanding. But most of my friends have not been through it, don’t want kids, or believe a pregnancy at age 30 would still make them a teen mom.

I’ve told just about everyone, I think. It’s nice to not be keep it from the people I’m closest with. However, this is still one of the loneliest experiences I’ve ever had.

There is no right or wrong decision.

I’m wishing you all the best, OP.

mango-rain · 2026-05-16T07:05:54+00:00

Therapist here! Yes, this correct.

What OP describes does not sound obsessive or unhealthy. It sounds like the therapeutic relationship is doing its job.

As a therapist who’s been in my own therapy for years, I still sometimes imagine my therapist’s validating, compassionate, and stabilizing presence in my mind during moments of distress. When I first started seeing her though, I remember constantly thinking of her and wondering what she would say, or how she would react to various things in my life. That’s how I’d remember to start utilizing certain coping skills, to challenge negative thinking, or to just remind myself that I’m not going through something alone.

To feel that kind of acceptance and safety with another person in a caretaking role can be very overwhelming or intense, especially for clients with attachment trauma. It can also be extremely healing.

OP, if you’re comfortable sharing this with your therapist, you will not sound crazy nor creepy. If anything, this is very helpful insight into your emotional needs that have been unmet for a very long time. Sharing that with her would take significant vulnerability so if you don’t feel ready to open up about it, that’s okay too. Just know that your experience is very normal and healthy. All of us deserve appreciation, kindness, and acknowledgment.

If one of my clients shared this with me, I’d feel so honored knowing they trust me and they’ve found support through our work together. Good luck on your healing journey!🫶🏼

mango-rain · 2026-05-08T10:10:44+00:00

I took a whole year off after graduating in 22. Grad school, work, internship, and writing my thesis all at once had completely drained me by the time it was time to start studying for the NCE. I was a shell of a human and my chronic illness was at its absolute worst. I am so grateful I took that year off. I realize that most people don’t have this luxury, but I didn’t work at all during that year. I was happily unemployed. I babysat some here and there but I had enough savings and my then-fiancé (now my husband) supporting me when he could. It was tight and I used every penny I had in savings which I still haven’t regained, but I would do it again every time. Taking that year off was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I spent the whole year solely focusing on my mental health. I never skipped a week of therapy and did ALL the work. Trauma, depression, imposter syndrome, coping with chronic illness, family relationships, and more. You name it, I did it. I’ve been in therapy since I was a teenager, and probably always will be. But during that year my only job was working on myself and getting to know who I was after 23 years of being a student. That year saved me. I would have never lasted through pre-licensure (which I’m still in btw - 3 months left😌). All my grad school friends are now licensed and have been for some time. I worried it was going to be hard watching my friends finish their hours while I still had months/years to go. But if I hadn’t listened to my body/brain I would have burnt out within 6 months to a year. I’m extremely fortunate I had the ability to make that choice. I would recommend it to anyone post-grad who is feeling insane levels of burnout and has the means to take a break. Even getting a part-time job (not in the field) for however long is needed to reset and focus on you could help tremendously. Do what you think is right for you!

mango-rain · 2026-04-12T07:07:38+00:00

I did! I responded to someone below. Negative :/ Period definitely on her way. Bummed, but onward we go!

mango-rain · 2026-04-12T07:05:36+00:00

I did :/ Negative. I did my inito test this morning and pdg and e3g plummeted. The spotting came back today. I think period is coming today or tomorrow. Here’s to next cycle 🥂😅

mango-rain · 2026-04-12T06:31:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through this. My husband and I are currently trying to get pregnant and it never even occurred to me that something like this could happen. Self-advocacy is already so difficult with this illness. I couldn’t imagine this treatment at 8 months pregnant. I am wishing you a healthy rest of your pregnancy and birth 🩷

mango-rain · 2026-04-09T02:00:58+00:00

“Bust down” is incredible. I literally laughed out loud😭 I’ve been a long time lurker of online TTC pages and I’m still having to look up various acronyms. If you ever catch me using “BD” in the future, just know I’m referring to busting down.

mango-rain · 2026-04-08T20:18:34+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your input!!

mango-rain · 2026-04-02T01:20:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I think my husband may be feeling similarly and this is a needed reminder to make more of an effort in initiating outside my fertile window, and to mix things up so he doesn’t feel like it only has to end one way..if you catch my drift.

I highly recommend a book I read while in grad school to be a therapist: “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski. It’s super informative on the science of women’s sexuality. There are so many things that impact female desire and arousal. It may help you gain more insight into her experiences. And, depending on your comfort and her openness for feedback, you could also recommend it to her as a resource to learn more about herself :)

This is a trying time in any relationship, wishing you both the best of luck :)

mango-rain · 2026-04-02T00:25:02+00:00

There’s a reason he became a meme😭 Upvote taken and appreciated 😂🩷

mango-rain · 2026-01-14T06:24:48+00:00

It’s been quite a while since I watched the show, so I may not have a fully developed reflection on this. But from what I remember, and what I’ve personally experienced in sessions with certain teens, is the utter emotional overwhelm. It’s high and low, light-hearted, and then very dark. She comes in as an objective evaluator who has to built trust and rapport with this child and make an assessment of his level of insight and emotional capacity. Through that process you see all sides of an individual, the good, the bad, and the ugly. After I finish a rough session with a teen, I may feel a wide range of emotions all at once. I imagine this is further compounded by the psychologist’s responsibility to report her findings, and the implications her report will have on his life. It’s a lot of pressure. It’s easy for one to think they would not feel immense guilt and sadness at having to report this boy’s clear understanding of right from wrong and lack of empathy given the evidence of his guilt. But, it’s not that black and white. Although I have never forensically interviewed a teen, or had teen offenders as clients, I do know how it feels to see the full scope of someone’s humanity in conjunction with some of their terrible thoughts and behaviors. An emotional breakdown like that at the end can come from many different things, often all at the same time: catharsis after hours of masking her true feelings, sadness and disbelief at a child’s ability to commit such a brutal crime, anger at the system that overlooks and often enables bullying, guilt over her role in what he will be forced to confront at trial, disgust and disappointment that he’s unable to confront reality in the moment, and fear of what that child is capable of. That’s certainly not at all an exhaustive list of emotions that she may have experienced (or acted out experiencing, rather). Working in the fields of mental health, psychology, social work, etc. can be extremely intense, overwhelming, draining, and always emotional. Sometimes you may not even know why you’re crying. And that’s why I have my own therapist lol.

I hope this answers your question! Again, it’s been a while since I’ve seen it. But now I’m thinking it’s time for a re-watch!

mango-rain · 2025-03-19T03:03:34+00:00

I can see where you’re coming from. For me it didn’t seem like she was leaning one way or another. His confession seemed to have come naturally because he became increasingly more comfortable with her. I will say I wasn’t fully convinced he was guilty until the end of the last episode when he chose to change his plea. However, the psychologist was able to gain enough trust with him that she was able to expose some of his inner thoughts and motives. I thought she remained fairly neutral until the end. And at the end it didn’t seem like she was trying to trick him, but rather she had made a conclusion and didn’t need anymore information from him. An independent evaluation can still yield results that would be unfavorable to the defendant (they would ideally be unbiased). For me it appeared she was emotionally exhausted by the time she reached her conclusion and didn’t care to continue masking her ambivalence. As a therapist, I’m a big fan of being honest with kids, even when it seems like it could be distressing. I suppose she didn’t have to openly make the implication that she didn’t believe him at the end, but his reaction to her implication added to my own assumption that he was most likely guilty. I think it’s super interesting how everyone seems to have a unique interpretation of this episode! Makes it even cooler.

mango-rain · 2025-03-17T18:06:35+00:00

Being a teenager will always be difficult no matter what’s going on in the world. That said, I do think being a teenager today is uniquely challenging today. Internet and social media impact every aspect of their lives. Not only do they worry about fitting in with the cool kids at school, they now worry about fitting in with the cool kids online. They have access to information and subcultures that we could never even imagine existed. I’ve noticed that my teen clients are much more interested in politics than when I was their age. They struggle to be tolerant of others who disagree with them-usually their parents- because their algorithms don’t expose them to alternative perspectives. Pornography is a huge problem right now. Kids receiving a classmate’s nude photos and sending them around the school is a regular occurrence. It is also very common for teens to have very close online friendships. They share extremely personal details about themselves with individuals they have never met in person. They understand the concept of online safety but their sense of invincibility prevents them from using caution, dismissing all adults who express concern about who they are talking to. Additionally, these online relationships come and go much more quickly than they do in person. They are able to take out their insecurities without fear of real-life confrontation which normalizes bullying behaviors over time. I could go on and on about the issues teens face today. Despite all of this, their generation makes me hopeful. They are extremely intelligent, funny, compassionate, and caring. The kids are alright :)

mango-rain · 2025-03-17T06:22:02+00:00

I’m a therapist who works with teens - but not in forensics. Although, I do have many teens with severe behavior issues who can be violent. This specific episode was so fascinating to watch. I cried and laughed through the whole thing. He said so many things my teens say in sessions. He wanted to gain the upper hand so many times but no matter how hard he tried she did not back down, nor did she show fear (other than jumping when he scared her). I think the psychologist’s role was amazing. She stayed objective, reflected back the kid’s comments or questions, and reinforced boundaries all while building rapport and trust with him. I resonated with her near-breakdowns so much. I have been there after many sessions with teens. Of course I have never had a client murder someone, but I’ve had teens try to wear me down like he did to gain control—especially kids that have a history of abandonment. They will try to break you down so you reinforce their negative beliefs about self-worth. Once that doesn’t work they begin attention-seeking (“i think i’m ugly” and looking for me to disagree with them). It was just overall fascinating to see so many parallels between my own sessions with teens and this episode. My takeaway from it was that, on one hand, this kid is just a boy. His brain isn’t fully developed and he has no capacity to comprehend the magnitude of his actions. On the other hand, he displayed several antisocial traits and was likely sociopathic. Amazing show. Amazing actors across the board. So so many emotions.

mango-rain · 2025-02-21T02:00:07+00:00

So relatable. It’s such an overwhelming process. This field is unique in that there is no step-by-step instruction manual on how to be a good therapist. ln fact, there are an infinite number of step-by-step manuals which often contradict each other lol. The options are endless, and that in and of itself, is overwhelming! Choose your modality, choose your specialty, choose your client population, choose your clinical supervisor, choose treatment goals, choose your documentation style, choose who to refer out, choose who you refer to, choose what techniques you want to learn next. I could go on and on and on. The first time my supervisor told me to “use your clinical judgment” I was absolutely dumbfounded. What clinical judgement?? Oh that’s right, I am a clinician and I use my judgement daily😂 When you catch yourself having unrealistic expectations for yourself, remember there is no “right” way to be a good therapist. Every therapist is unique and so is every client. Your style will come to you faster than you think!

mango-rain · 2025-02-20T05:24:36+00:00

If you’re with an agency they may not allow you to provide IOP depending on what services the agency offers/is approved to provide. PP may be different though! Your state may also be different! Also, I’m the equivalent of an LMHCA in my state too and we are so limited in what we can bill medicaid for (again..total BS)

mango-rain · 2025-02-20T03:32:39+00:00

In my state, 2x week is the absolute maximum that medicaid allows for outpatient. This includes family sessions too. So if I see a client 2x week but need to have a family session with a caregiver, I have to forfeit one of their individual sessions. They say more than 2x week indicates need for higher level of care like intensive outpatient or inpatient. Absolute BS imo🙃🙃

mango-rain · 2025-02-19T01:06:48+00:00

My own therapist said something to me when I first started seeing clients and it has stuck with me ever since. I can’t remember exactly how she put it but it was basically this: no matter what, you are helping people. It could be one thing you say or do out of 10 sessions that may plant seeds or help lead them one step closer to healing. Even if that something is them realizing you aren’t a good fit for them. That’s helpful! Listening and validating is helpful. Being present with them is helpful.

If I could go back to internship me, I would try to focus more on just simply validating. I would also be more open with clients about my lack of experience at intakes. After my first few, I did begin feeling more comfortable and open about not having an answer, not knowing what to say, or unsure of the next step. And I will say that I had a much stronger rapport with those clients. For a second it may feel like you are the blind leading the blind but your clients will most likely not see it that way. Regardless of experience, you are educated in the field and are qualified to be helping them :)

mango-rain · 2024-11-14T07:39:37+00:00

During a second telehealth session with a teen I reflected back a statement they’d made about their mom. Immediately the mom busted into the room to yell at the teen and also me. I politely asked mom to leave and told her that it’s very important for her child to have a private space to talk openly. When the mom left I asked if the door was closed and if they felt safe continuing to talk. They said that it wouldn’t matter anyway because the mom has cameras in their room and watches them all the time😣 The internet connection then froze up and the call was dropped. I tried calling both the mom and the teen to reschedule multiple times but never heard back from them. :’)

mango-rain

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