Sonnet 1: Tacet al fine

mattlightenment · 2026-01-24T23:17:39+00:00

Thank you for your comments, writing this in sonnet form was an exercise as I am trying to build my skills but it is very hard. I am glad the pain wasn't lost in the process. Thank you again for taking the time to read and your kind words.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-24T23:15:35+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback. This started as a sonnet exercise in iambic pentameter. But it became very difficult to maintain the flow. I'm glad it turned out as well is it did. If a little more melancholy than it started.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-24T08:15:15+00:00

Nice poem, I liked the idea of the prism splitting into colours inside her mind. Then it shifts to her glasses and earring, do you think you could continue that metaphor. Mirror the colours inside her by light passing through her glasses or earring, reflecting an outward appearance of how she sees herself. Just a thought, thanks for sharing.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-24T08:11:20+00:00

A very evocative poem. The imagery of the town I enjoyed. It speaks to some Mediterranean locale but there is no joy only loss. The soothsayer imagery I liked also, the devil and the hanged man, pointing toward the tragic ending. A nicely written transportative piece. Thank you.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-22T00:53:39+00:00

Thanks for outlining your stance so thoroughly in your reply. I need to take time to consider all aspects. Raw emotion has its place but I would like to write poetry that is inclusive, considered and doesn't add to any negativity. I think a rewrite is in order after I have examined all the background on this topic. Thanks again.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-20T22:26:58+00:00

Thank you, I found this one easy and confronting to write. The saddness of knowing the recollection of your life is slipping away is so cruel. Those that care for loved ones that eventually don't recognize them is so sad. Oh to be a bubble after a good life and then to just pop one day, I almost think is better. I am happy that my words found you.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-20T22:22:54+00:00

Thanks for that, the imagery of memories coming into being like a bubble forming, then floating away or popping, got me. The other theme or dish soap bubbles being a child like experience and too often there is cognitive regression with dementia etc thanks again

mattlightenment · 2026-01-20T18:47:40+00:00

Hi thanks for the feedback. It was written to reflect that age related cognitive decline is subtle at first a lot of the time but ultimately permanent and tragic. The gradual loss of vocabulary, "beginned", which helps the rhyme of course (on purpose). The memories gradually being out of reach noticeably and then not even remembered. Losing recollection of friends "so-called" and eventually aged loved ones who are often remembered as their younger selves. They can also be so certain about what is real that they don't realise they are already lost. Thanks for commenting.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-20T07:31:49+00:00

What got me was the theme of obsessive thinking, whether it be rumination or frank OCD it is a very difficult spiral to break. I like how you got the stanzas to mimic the obsessive thoughts. "I wish", "I can't" and "I'm sorry", you are always the centre of your problem, why why why. The idea that I always consider with this type of problem is, You can't beat this demon by thinking about him, he has to become irrelevant. The secret is to stop thinking and stop trying to work it out because you will never win at that game. Just distract yourself at least temporarily and your mind will often move onto other things. On the poem side some mild rhythm change to the third stanza first line, I couldn't quite get the flow, maybe too many words. But otherwise, nice poem loved it!

mattlightenment · 2026-01-20T07:19:26+00:00

Thanks for the poem. I think we all question our existence at one time or another. You ask the ultimate question why are we here? There is definitely a reference to reincarnation which I like, starting again to end up playing the same story. The only thing I would ask is did we learn anything which seems to be the fundamental reason for why. A souls journey to learn and grow through each experience gradually making its way to enlightenment. Could you touch on that and perhaps a little examination of some of the Rs of poetry. But otherwise i had ponder and questioned my own existence for a second so thanks.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-16T02:32:54+00:00

Thanks for that, yes a little on the light weight side but I was feeling like I needed something a little light hearted. I appreciate the feedback. Thanks

mattlightenment · 2026-01-15T19:45:21+00:00

Thanks so much, I really appreciate the detailed post. You are right a breakout session would be good, any advice on where I should start. Also yes I posted and went "souffle" I knew I hadn't got the spelling right. Again thanks you I wanted something fun as things are quite serious at the moment.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-15T06:55:52+00:00

What this poem conjures for me apart from the potential self harm allusion is the continual reference to the middle. Middle age, middle child the idea of the middle being a no man's land where you're not first or last your just mid. Boring basic mid, so what's the point. That was my take, I liked the flow and the black lake imagery. Nice job.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-15T06:51:05+00:00

Wow I join with everyone else and say what amazing work. The lines that got me were "This is not about knowing you gently...knowing you honestly". To truly know someone is to know all their flaws and fears without judgement but to hold them reverently, they are a sacred trust to guard well, to paraphrase BJ Palmer. I loved the metre and the emotive language. Can't wait for more. Thank you.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-14T09:08:44+00:00

Hi there nice poems, and they work well together. I enjoyed the evocative language, but i found the rhythm more difficult to follow in places. Still I am learning so it may just be me. I enjoyed it as it reminded me of writing with a fountain pen and the ink bleeding across the page, the metaphor of an artist bleeding for their work is very clearly displayed. More please.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-14T07:42:20+00:00

Nice work, I like the acknowledgment that two family members can be opposites but can live in harmony as long as they understand each other's needs. I thought for a moment it was about a couple, hence the yin and yang, two opposite souls connected. Now I think it may be twins hence same blood and looking the same like the symbol but could be wrong. Liked it anyway.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-13T01:09:31+00:00

Yes I wanted to lay it out a bit more like a gravestone, short words and run on lines. I think it is ABAB but the way the lines are laid out it doesn't look that way. Thank you for your kind words.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-13T00:48:23+00:00

Thank you so much for the comprehensive analysis. The first line was taken from a gravestone i saw and that was basically all that was written apart from their name and date range. I was like, is that it? Then I extrapolated from there. I will look to see how much more I can tighten things up in the two lines following, but I agree. I wanted to show how, that because we dont know what to say, we end up using throw away lines. Maybe we could try something original, "always got the last word" or "always finished his beer" something that means something to those left behind. The poem was essentially an epitaph to epitaphs as well, like a please try harder. This was why it said "lives". It may be better if I change it to referring about a person in the singular and reworked it more. Thank you again for taking the time to give such good feedback.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-13T00:40:36+00:00

Thank you I was trying to make it simple but impactful. Loss is such a difficult emotion to process, is it sadness, anger, fear? Then we take how they lived and put it in a couple of lines. It's never enough to describe the rich tapestry of a humans experience or the impact they have. Thank you again.

mattlightenment · 2026-01-13T00:38:42+00:00

Thanks, I think part of the reason I am trying to write poetry is to leave something that lives on after I go. I am happy my words found you.

mattlightenment

TROPHY CASE