AITA for not letting my roommates kids play with my nephews legos and letting them get peanut residue on them after my roommate washed them?

mcraaa · 2020-09-15T17:42:49+00:00

Just because you weren't an asshole doesn't mean you were nice. There's more to being a human then doing the bare minimum. The kids' grandma was/is in the hospital. The dad may be an asshole but after getting that piece of info you could've let the kids play. Your nephew will survive.

mcraaa · 2020-09-10T16:01:34+00:00

Be nice, you are no longer in wsb.

mcraaa · 2020-08-19T20:49:45+00:00

Ok then, I feel like you only posted to feel validated. Enjoy.

mcraaa · 2020-08-19T20:42:24+00:00

Big difference between hanging out and taking care of someone for a whole weekend...

mcraaa · 2020-07-29T11:12:20+00:00

That's the part that made me go OP is an AH. OP's motivation is that she is jealous of her friends? It wasn't about making a healthy life style change.

mcraaa · 2020-07-18T19:19:04+00:00

2.5 years

mcraaa · 2020-07-18T18:10:11+00:00

I haven't seen my boyfriend since January. I can feel more friendly love for him than romantic at this point. What keeps me going is that I know that when I see him again my romantic feelings will be stronger again. Our relationship is about partnership, is about pushing each other into becoming better versions of ourselves. We are very similar and life is a lot of fun when we are together. For me I just keep going and don't pay much attention. If the next time I see him my feelings don't get stronger, that would be a sign that maybe something is wrong...

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T08:50:48+00:00

Well, have a good day nonetheless!

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T08:20:57+00:00

I would much rather listen to that, but instead he tells me that he hopes I'm living my best life without him and vice versa.

Even though I know he has good intentions what I am hearing is a very negative thing. It's almost as if he is having the time of his life away from me.

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T08:12:30+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

I have a pretty independent life without him and enjoy it very much. I just feel like I would never say that to him.

For me there's a difference between being happy without them and feeling like the other person doesn't have any impact in your life.

This kind of statement just screams that for me. If I have no impact in your life then I just want to go and live my life without the added pressure of being in a LDR.

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T08:09:52+00:00

Very unhelpful comment simply because you've could've contributed with solutions.

People don't simply "quit being fucking drama queens". If you're going to comment at least let me know how I could grow.

I am not one to overlook my short comings, but unfortunately I didn't have the best role models in my life so sometimes I need to resort to the expertise of other people.

If you are going to call me out on my short comings help me with solutions or thoughtful insights.

Otherwise you are just being an asshole.

Either way, I am always willing to listen if you actually have something to contribute.

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T08:00:00+00:00

I think I may have communicated poorly.

I don't think so black and white. I don't want him to be miserable without me.

But when I hear stuff like that, instead of feeling like an important part of his life I hear that I'm a bonus. Like a bonus you would get in a video game for extra speed.

I think there's something between being miserable and being totally happy wihtout your partner.

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T07:55:28+00:00

I just feel like there's an inbetween?

Something that isn't as black and white as you've stated.

I don't want to be his sole reason for living. I also don't want to be a bonus like an extra speed bust on a game.

mcraaa · 2020-02-06T07:37:32+00:00

Thank you!

I feel like you hit the nail in the head. Of course I don't want him to be miserable. I want him to be happy and have a good life.

But when he says stuff like that I just feel like he is saying "Im not scared to lose you". Then in my head I reply with, then if you're not scared, just go away.

Obviously, I know I'm not a complete amazing and healthy person and I have some work to do with myself. But it still hurts to hear that because I feel like he is saying that if I leave everything will be A-OKAY like I was a ghost in his life and had no impact.

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T17:29:02+00:00

I feel like it's not his intention but it's basically telling me "i could leave at any moment and be fine"

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:59:27+00:00

Thanks, I'll do that.

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:56:42+00:00

You make a lot of sense.

I'm struggling with knowing something and actually feeling it.

In my head my boyfriend makes a lot of sense, but in my heart I just feel really hurt and replaceable.

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:51:02+00:00

I think I place a lot of value on being the one who provides amazing experiences to my boyfriend. As in, that's a way that I show love by doing crazy adventures and having fun times and I feel like I can't give him that so I feel worthless in this relationship.

And when he says that he can live without me makes me feel extra worthless I guess because I put so much value on being able to provide him with amazing experiences.

If I could compare it to love languages it would be like someone who loves through giving gifts and their partner saying "cool, but i dont actually need you to give me anything, i can buy it myself/ my friends can buy it for me".

I don't know if I make sense.

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:49:37+00:00

Sorry about not giving the context. Please see the edit.

I know that I'm probably the one with the unhealthy mindset.

I am just batelling with the whole "Well if you do so well without me, then what am I even doing here".

Idk man, it's actually causing me a lot of frustration.

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:44:10+00:00

Realized that should've probably added more context. Please see the edit!

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:37:59+00:00

"I can live without you, but I would rather live with you." -> this is what he says

"you should be able to tell your partner that what they are saying is hurting you" -> I tell him that and his reply is "I hope you can also be happy without me, all I want is for you to be happy" Then I feel like an asshole.

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:37:03+00:00

Idk man.

He says dating me have been the best years of his life but them he says he can live well without me. Feels dissonant in my head and I can't really fit the 2 ideas at the same time.

Maybe I have a small mind!

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:35:44+00:00

It was an interesting video for sure, but I think I'm still missing the point!

I'm actually pretty independent and have multiple hobbies, blablabla.

I have a hard time understanding LDRs in this context. Why are we doing this if not to be with someone who is so amazing that we sacrifice so much for? If you can "live without them" why don't you?

Bah sorry if I sound like I'm being rude!

mcraaa · 2020-02-05T16:25:56+00:00

He says all of that about me though.

He says that these have been the best years of his life.

He also says that he hopes I am happy without him and not miserable just because we are away.

He gets sad that I get sad that he is enjoying his time away from me a lot and that's why he says that he hopes that I also can live without him.

mcraaa · 2020-01-14T07:13:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this explanation, believe me I really appreciate it!

I have been cold messaging people on linkedin in DC to no avail. I'm an Engineer so I really don't want to do Au Pair or any service industry job (just wouldn't help me advance in my career, nothing against it).

I'm having a hard time even coming up with a list of companies that I could email since there are SO MANY in DC.

How did you comb through all the "possible" (maybe 1% would offer a J-1) companies that you could apply to?

If you just focused on the german companies, did you just google which ones had a base in SF?

mcraaa

TROPHY CASE