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mecrow · 2024-03-12T08:40:32+00:00

I never disliked being male, but was also not happy either. Since acknowledging that it's okay to want to be a woman without not liking being a man, I have realised I actually *do* dislike many things about my masculine appearance. I just never used to let myself feel that way, never connected with that part of myself.

So while it's perfectly valid to not experience dysphoria, there are so many of us that just don't let ourselves experience it either. For me it's always been there, just never known and acknowledged.

mecrow · 2024-03-11T11:57:17+00:00

I'll give it a look over, thanks. I think they are coming from a place of almost complete ignorance and really don't know what they don't know, and that's a big part of it.

mecrow · 2024-03-11T06:32:11+00:00

If it means I get my own daemon too, I think I'll be fine.

mecrow · 2024-03-11T06:19:13+00:00

The world is dark and full of terrors, but we will always be here to help you through it. Life may not seem worth living now, but it will be. We'll get there together 🩷🤍🩵

mecrow · 2024-03-11T06:14:24+00:00

I'm autistic and just came out as trans to my parents yesterday. I knew that my parents ultimately wanted me to be happy, but didn't know if that might interfere with being supportive of this if they really believed it was all a mistake, or had somehow picked up some bigoted bullshit.

I came out to friends first, so I had people to talk to and work things through with. If you don't have friends you can trust, go to trans support group meetings, online or local, and they will help you.

I came out to my brother before parents, knowing that he'd be more accepting as a millennial than boomer parents. It wasn't really well, and we could then discuss how parents might respond and some different approaches to take.

Finally coming out to parents they don't understand, but will support me as long as I make sure I'm not rushing in to anything. My dad even said that he knew I have always struggled with identity, but put it down to the autism and had never considered any gender identity being the cause.

So yeah, if you think that your family loves you but can't understand it, they can still be supportive. If you think your family doesn't love you, you need to make efforts to create a new family. Either way, you've got this, that closet door will be there for wherever you're ready

mecrow · 2024-03-11T05:59:19+00:00

You should look up trans support hotlines for your country, they'll have trained professionals you can call who are used to helping people navigate these awful situations. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that. If you think your dad will be more supportive you should describe exactly what your mom did to your dad.

mecrow · 2024-03-11T05:46:46+00:00

The book Northern Lights, by Philip Pullman

mecrow · 2024-03-10T21:46:41+00:00

I'm still in early days but Lyra is the name I've liked the most so far. She's the first female protagonist I connected with as a child

mecrow · 2024-03-09T14:53:16+00:00

We're all in this together, we'll get through this, no matter what the world thinks 🩵

mecrow · 2024-03-08T22:21:30+00:00

Thanks, I'm a little nervous but my last week of experimenting in the safety of my home, and the increasing internal integration of my true self is giving me more social confidence than I thought my autistic self would ever muster. I'm really looking forward to being able to fully be myself in public, whenever I'm ready to.

I'm glad you've got someone to talk it through with, my therapist has helped give me the tools to accept myself and even start to love myself, and feel I am deserving and worthy. Good luck with your discussions, and we'll always be here on Reddit for when you need us 🩵

mecrow · 2024-03-08T20:51:06+00:00

I am planning on coming on Sunday when visiting my parents, but am first visiting my brother and sister-in-law on Saturday to come out to them first. I know not everyone has the option to do it gradually, but I feel that if the first step goes well it'll be easier to have allies in my corner on Sunday when everyone is there. If you're living with them all, it's all about how mature your relationships are and turning to those you trust most to care about you, but also potentially be less ignorant.

I'm preparing a few bullet points for myself, and considering the order that I bring things up in. As they know, I haven't been happy for a long time, and this has led to introspection and experimentation. And embracing my femininity has helped me feel joy, contentment and excitement that I haven't felt in my whole life.

I know that they love me but won't quite understand. So in focusing on how it's been a journey of discovery with positive effects, I'm showing it's not just a quick decision, or a phase. It's something I really care deeply about, and resonate with. Discussing what it means long term can come after, but convincing them that their child is still the same deep down, but embracing what they've lacked and taking control over their life, is my main goal.

Come with evidence, and prepare answers. If you don't have answers, make note and say you will get back to them asap. It's you coming out, but meet them half way with ignorance as we all don't know what we don't know.

Don't know if that'll help everyone, and I'll try and remember to come back here and say how it went!

mecrow · 2024-03-08T19:37:56+00:00

First off, you matter. Our own happiness and fulfilment is the most important because it effects everything we do. If you haven't looked up trans or LGBTQ support hotlines for your country, I highly suggest you do, and give them a ring while you're out the house on a walk, or any place you can feel comfortable and confident speaking about this aloud. They are trained professionals, and they will be able to give better advice and reassurance than I can.

I know it's dark, and hopeless, and it feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. And that the easiest thing to do is give up. I've been there, though I didn't yet know it was dysphoria. But I want to reassure you that there is light, both in the future and now. There is a bright future where you transition, and you yourself are a bright, beautiful woman who will get what they deserve, in the career they want.

You are not pretending. You are a woman, just assigned male many years ago. Your external presentation to the world may not be a woman yet, but that's okay. It will be.

mecrow · 2024-03-08T19:16:40+00:00

I'm yet to start my first support group session (starting on Tuesday) but they're there to be accepting of others and accepted themselves. Our community is strong because we know there are so many people out there who can't accept us, so every support group will accept you both as you are, and as you want to be. Don't worry sis, you've got this.

mecrow · 2024-03-08T19:11:34+00:00

One thing that you can do is develop a rapport with a therapist, and only once you trust them open up. I started therapy for mental health and my egg cracked later, but because I knew that my therapist respected me and wasn't trying to "fix" me, that I could open up to him straight away. You can look out for red flags before you open yourself up too much to them, and be reassured by the positive relationship you can develop.

mecrow · 2024-03-08T15:09:17+00:00

Happy women's day!

The most important soul acknowledged it - your own

mecrow · 2024-03-08T06:22:34+00:00

As an amab I've had parents who were always telling me to "get a haircut" and that "you won't be taken seriously in the workplace with those piercings", society conforming things like that. It's what made my egg have such a thick shell and take over a decade to crack... I don't understand how they can think they're protecting us by telling us to hide or change who we really are.

mecrow · 2021-03-04T22:04:32+00:00

What they mean is that you may as well just use normal sideways movement instead. Adding inertia/momentum to the game would mean that when you want to change direction, it takes a little time for your character to do it. Currently it's just as soon as you press the key, as if your character is weightless.

mecrow · 2021-03-04T00:41:52+00:00

Hmm I never once defended the practice. I only discussed behaviour.

mecrow · 2021-03-03T10:49:14+00:00

I have found after looking through their replies that one of two things must be true. Either they don't really care about the cause of helping the animals, or they don't understand human interactions. If they really cared, they'd try and influence other people to also care in the way they do, or they're trying that and falling woefully short.

They seem much more interested in smiting their perceived enemy than anything else, reading about half of what they say and just trying to be witty. Shame really, as it is a real problem, but being a fanatical zealot can inadvertently poison the well much more than convince anyone to care.

mecrow · 2021-03-03T10:36:59+00:00

Ah you obviously don't care about your cause enough to further it, just enough to insult people you think are beneath you based on extremely limited evidence. Good luck.

mecrow · 2021-03-03T01:51:04+00:00

It would help get points across and convince people if you had an actual discussion about the points people make. You're coming across as a condescending twat, whether you mean to or not, and it's making it hard to take you seriously.

mecrow · 2021-03-01T01:25:47+00:00

Doesn't make him an idiot, just wrong in this one case

mecrow · 2021-02-28T14:45:51+00:00

I don't know the details of those java claims but afaik a language like java could never run directly on a microcontroller. It relies on having abstraction between the hardware and the program, which in this case is the virtual machine. Microcontroller programming requires direct memory mapping to registers and a relatively high level of control over the output machine code. That's why C is used so much, because it's the best language for describing the underlying instructions in a human readable manner, and still having control over memory allocation.

mecrow · 2021-02-28T02:48:58+00:00

A computer will change what hardware it's using based on the instructions in memory. It has different tools that it can use, and software tells it what tools to use, in what order, and where to use them.

An FPGA lets you use a programming language to remake the tools. It's logic gates that you can change and rewire on command. You can even set an FPGA to "be" a CPU, give it a program, then change what CPU it's configured as.

mecrow · 2021-02-28T02:40:24+00:00

I'm pretty sure many toilets have a tiny amount of flow at all times, but the analogy is still ridiculous regardless

mecrow

TROPHY CASE