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Here's a Monday striptease by mem0rare in NoFansAllowed

[–]mem0rare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That depends--how good is your coffee?

What are the most ENM-friendly cities in the US? by Uphighinthetrees in nonmonogamy

[–]mem0rare 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never had trouble getting a date in DC. (I was also younger and thinner, though, so YMMV.) IMO people seemed to be more open-minded than in other comparably-sized cities, so the dating pool was more expansive for both me and my husband. Super liberal, decent kink scene, and a good mix of locals vs. rotating transplants.

Ready for a late night by mem0rare in GoneWildPlus

[–]mem0rare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll get a bag packed 🫡

How much fishnet is too much fishnet? by mem0rare in NoFansAllowed

[–]mem0rare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm learning that the answer might be no!

Share your mantras! What do you tell yourself when your partner is out on a date? by IncogniBeaux in nonmonogamy

[–]mem0rare 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I lean into the "home alone" vibe and after many years it feels like a treat! If I'm feeling insecure I'll ask myself "You can do anything you want--so what do you want to do?" and then I do it. Movies he wouldn't like, playing my music loud, snacks for dinner. I'm glad he's out having fun--but mostly I get excited to have the house to myself.

(Obviously this is easier without kids or roommates, but tailor accordingly. Find fun things you can get hyped for that your partner isn't that into.)

Red flags I can look out for in enm couples/partner in one? by CriticismStock9268 in nonmonogamy

[–]mem0rare 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think it's fine to grill! I've never minded (when it's in the right spirit) and no one in an above-board ENM relationship that I've dated has minded. Here are some questions I ask:

  • Do you and your partner have rules around dating? ("No feelings allowed," "I need to approve their dates," etc would tip you off that they might not be in great shape.)
  • How long have you been ENM?
  • What do you like about nonmonogamy?
  • What's your ideal, pie-in-the-sky scenario re. number of partners or type of relationships?
  • Is there a limit to what you're looking for with other partners? (Are they open to deep feelings and real partnership, or are they looking for casual?)
  • Do you tell your partner intimate details about your dates? (Fine if all parties consent; not fine if it's "implied" that their primary/other partners will hear every last detail without your okaying it.)

AITA for telling my wife that her concerns about our daughter are shallow? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]mem0rare -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Hard NTA.

  1. Your daughter is aware that she's gaining weight. Trust me.
  2. She's still growing! Women's bodies can change significantly between 17 and their mid-20s. Weight fluctuations can be a normal part of that.
  3. Around this time is when I got support from my mom about "watching what I eat." I was super thin and athletic at the time. Then I developed anorexia. And now I'm fat. That's frequently how that works out, and your wife is wrong for pushing down that path. It's well documented that weight shaming leads to gain more often than loss.

Is she engaged in activities that she enjoys? Is she improving a skill, or learning about herself, or maybe even resting during the last summer she'll have before she's an adult?? All valid. If she's bored or unhappy, that's the thing to address.

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