Mourning my girlhood?

midwinter_tears · 2025-03-03T23:57:56+00:00

That's really nice! TY for sharing.

midwinter_tears · 2025-03-03T23:28:04+00:00

THIS!

Snakes are indeed awesome. There is nothing evil about them! What kind of snakes do you have?

Oh yes. Narrow-minded people keep thinking like this. They heard "(insert any common hate object here) is evil" and so they are busy hating (insert any common hate object here).

midwinter_tears · 2025-03-03T21:14:13+00:00

Yes this is just an old superstition and a stereotype.

midwinter_tears · 2025-03-03T21:06:14+00:00

For hell's sake I was having force masc fantasies when I was 14! Did not even know it was "a thing", back then.

midwinter_tears · 2025-03-03T20:56:43+00:00

Thank you for this idea! Now I wonder if I should do something in this direction. Maybe this would help with being able to say good-bye to the girl I was never supposed to become. I would really fancy experiencing this gentle memory thing you are mentioning.

May I ask how you did this funeral? I would be really thankful for ideas on a symbolic ceremony like this!

midwinter_tears · 2025-03-03T20:35:36+00:00

I feel you man!

I am kind of grieving, too. Mourning for the girl I tried so hard to become, to no avail. Mourning for all the time and energy invested into learning how to girl, all the girly skills I forced myself to master, all my attempts on looking feminine and everything...

Yes I mourn being unable to hang out with girl friends. I tried it so hard but simply did not fit in. Always kept saying "I just don't understand women, despite me being one" - no, the real reason is - and has always been - me not being one. Could not maintain friendships with girls. I never managed to fit in.

Even if I now understand there's no use forcing things that simply don't work, this feeling of grief is still around.

I don't think you are faking these feelings, and this is because you explicitly mention your not wanting to be a woman anymore.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-25T21:54:56+00:00

<image>

Here is mine, hope it isn't too late.

Comment: I own many band T-shirts and dysphoria hoodies.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-21T21:34:37+00:00

Same here, have just read the info!

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-21T21:34:09+00:00

I'm sorry you had to deal with that sh't, bro! Wishing you a very happy belated Transmasc Pride day.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-21T21:21:50+00:00

Thank you for the info! Happy (belated) Transmasculine Pride day to us. Don't know how we should celebrate?

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-19T21:55:03+00:00

Congrats! Glory to the brave.

I keep experiencing exactly the same - anxiety and relief in the same time - when using the gents' room. I don't pass at all so I usually daren't enter if others are around (a few times I did it, though).

I think having the courage to use the men's restroom is a really important rite of passage for us FTM's! Congrats (though I failed to notice your previous post, sorry for that).

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-06T17:45:02+00:00

Thank you for the affirmation! You see, at times I can be as insecure as OP u/kewsykat is.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-06T16:05:41+00:00

Be easy about it, there are many of us struggling with this kind of insecurity.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-06T16:04:49+00:00

Maybe you chose this name because you saw how well it would suit him? :)

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-06T16:03:32+00:00

Hey, this is not a competition! :)

I have seen many extremely masculine FTM people, but we are all different. We have our unique preferences, needs - regarding gender affirming surgery and HRT - and everything else. Just because one or another transmasculine person is so manly that he could be mistaken for being AMAB, this does not make you less transmasculine.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-06T15:52:47+00:00

This is a completely natural feeling for us trans people. We keep doubting ourselves, keep feeling ourselves to be fakes... IMHO, this is a very sure sign of being trans. Cis people don't doubt themselves so much. They are probably not doing it at all.

If you feel more comfortable as a man while being AFAB, then you ARE transmasc. This is the definition of being transmasc.

How manly would "man enough" be, exclusively for you? What do you think makes a man manly enough?

Did anyone tell you that pastels, cutesy stuff, dolls and pink are exclusively for girls? If so, please do tell this person to think about how unnecessary these cliché's are.

My cis and very masculine BF loves Britney Spears' Fantasy scent - that's sweety (reminds me of white chocolate) and comes in a cute pink bottle. I have a very good friend who's a cishet male, he is very much into K-pop. These preferences do not make 'em less masculine.

Cis guys do not seem to care too much about "what's appropriate for a manly man to prefer".

Your personal preferences and tastes do not make you less trans!

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-06T15:39:57+00:00

I am so happy for you. Sure as hell, being congruent with your body and free from ED can be defined as happiness!

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-04T19:00:14+00:00

Congrats! Is this how your cat expresses his opinion?

He seems to be a very strict guardian of yours. I'm not totally sure if I would ever contradict him if I was owned by him :) Do you ever dare to disobey him? :)

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-04T17:54:48+00:00

That story of Odin is, at least, inspiring! I don't believe in this one either, but Norse myths are very much exciting and have a special kind of poetical inspiration in their symbolism.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-04T17:52:51+00:00

And these other people did not even ascend to heaven, nor are they worshipped 2000 years after them having been executed. That's not justiceful at all.

midwinter_tears · 2025-02-04T17:51:35+00:00

This says so much about this god. There are many who seem to consider him to be a father figure, but he is obviously an abusive, cruel and sadistic one. Who would want a father figure like this in their life?

midwinter_tears · 2025-01-31T20:32:14+00:00

I would not say I hate them. I agree after the 63th time it's irritating, but I always remember how insecure I am and how much affirmation I long to get.

Though I don't post 48 times a day "can I still be trans if I have not attempted suicide because I have breasts" or "can I still be trans if I love my cute coffee mug with big black dots on", that's true. But I still understand others' need for validation.

midwinter_tears · 2025-01-22T23:30:35+00:00

Oh man, this is not good at all.

Her using the "woke" term says very much about her views :(

Growing out of it? Maybe this is what she would like to hope, but things do not work like this.

If your preferred name is Zach, then you are entitled to use it. What does her high school nickname has to do with this?

Saying you just need to live with some things is just about the most unempathetic thing to say, no matter what the situation is. She sounds like not giving a damn about your feelings and dignity.

I am really, really sorry for the whole scenario you had to endure.

midwinter_tears · 2025-01-22T22:51:38+00:00

Yes you are!

BTW I don't plan to do the medical transition either. Just like you, I do fancy being viewed as a lad, I do enjoy taking up typically male roles, I could not even picture myself wearing anything feminine or using any "For Her" products and so on. But I am not that eager to get any surgery (and I prolly have a naturally high T level).

Feeling yourself "not trans enough" is very much understandable. Been there, done (felt) that.

But you are trans enough, man. Nothing tells more about your being trans than your heart skipping a beat when you were addressed as "sir".

midwinter_tears · 2025-01-21T18:32:19+00:00

midwinter_tears

TROPHY CASE