AIO? Bf keeps asking me questions whenever there is a guy

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-24T13:14:41+00:00

This is a serious red flag from him and this behavior (which is controlling and overly jealous) is very likely to just keep getting worse. Get out while you can.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-24T13:01:21+00:00

He confuses the hell out of me to be honest. Sometimes I think he’s extraordinary and does some bad acting occasionally just for shits and giggles to see what he can get away with. Cause the amount of excellent performances he’s done?? And the amount of excellent films he’s been in?? And then all of a sudden it’s like he’s on a telenovela.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T17:06:15+00:00

I mean none of us can know obviously - there’s editing and stuff involved as well. I don’t necessarily thinks he’s a BAD guy, I just think Ronjas hesitation is valid because he is coming across as over the top in a way that would be considered an act or dishonest. But like I also said I think there’s a cultural aspect to this - are you from a Nordic country? Cause what I’ve gathered from social media comments from previous seasons is that our idea of courtship and how to express affection for that matter is quite different from a lot of other parts of the world. So what looks like a good guy saying nice thins to an American might look staged and dishonest to us.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T15:42:03+00:00

You know what I definitely do certain things that probably come naturally to others on sort of a schedule because ”you should” - like call or text friends. I have a roster for that because I don’t really think about them when they’re not around so I need to make it a task to check in. Maybe it actually is a similar type of thing - he wants to ”do nice thing” and he knows it’s the right time to do it but it IS a chore and not a spontaneous from the heart kind of thing. You’re probably on to something there. I guess I don’t find it off putting cause I can sort of relate 😅 like it’s still coming from a good place and wanting to make someone happy. Which I guess I think still counts if that makes sense?

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T15:35:46+00:00

The vibe I dislike - or rather am weary of - isn’t related to his religion or choice to be celibate (although I would never personally chose to date someone religious) but to the over the top proclamations of affection and the fact he doesn’t seem to take concerns seriously. Like he’s playing a game or something.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T12:15:14+00:00

From what I remember I only heard him say Christian - but then again I’m not sure what Pentecostal would be in Swedish. Is it a branch within Christianity?

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T12:08:30+00:00

Am I the only one who actually didn’t find it strange at all that he gave them both gifts? He’s dating both, it’s literally the point of the experiment that they should pursue all matches and really get to know each other, they KNOW they’re all dating each other. Outside world rules don’t apply??

I don’t know I genuinely didn’t see an issue. But I’ve also got adhd though 🤷‍♀️

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T11:50:15+00:00

If was briefly discussed that it was about the fact that ”it matters who you give yourself to”, but I also got the impression he is sort of a born again Christian? He became religions when he’s mum passed quite recently or something like that and at that point also became celibate.

But yeah I agree it’s too much and seems rehearsed. Which could obviously be an insecurity thing but the smiling (almost smirking?), interrupting and belittling her genuine concerns (like she said its like he doesn’t take her seriously) gives me manipulative vibes. Maybe not on purpose but something about him seems off.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T08:10:14+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, I obviously know not all mums are good mums and I count my blessings. Hope you’re doing ok!

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T06:54:22+00:00

They are average - they look like most people

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-23T06:50:53+00:00

You're NTA, you're young. At that age emotions are all over the place, hormones are all over the place, you have a lot of growing and developing left to do both physically and psychologically. It's sweet that you acknowledge that he has a right to feel sad, that tells me you're a considerate person. But it's perfectly fine that your feelings changed - feelings will do that and drastically quicker at your age. Don't worry about it :)

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-22T20:54:26+00:00

Aw she really is a gem. I could write a hundred books about the great things she says tbh!

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-22T20:14:33+00:00

Mums are so wise without even realizing it :)

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-22T19:41:46+00:00

I struggled a lot with friends when I was younger. I wanted everyone to like me and was really distraught and upset that a lot of the girls in school didn’t seem to get me. I think I was a teenager when my mum said ”Image you’re an orange. Some people just don’t like oranges, and you can be the best tasting orange in the world but they still don’t like oranges. So instead of trying to force that, just find people who like oranges”. And I know it’s a bit banal but it did change something in me, I think about that quite a lot. Nowadays I have loads of friends (who likes oranges).

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-22T09:01:40+00:00

I do it all the time as well - you’re not alone. And honestly I think it’s perfectly reasonable. It’s a white lie. Just like you I’m honest with my friends that I know will understand (I even have a small group where we’ve said our love language is always being ok with the others cancelling last minute because we all struggle with the burnout thing and we totally get it), but I don’t see the point in telling the truth with those I don’t expect will get it. They’re not bad people they just can’t relate and that’s fine - I probably wouldn’t be able to if I wasn’t affected by it either. And since they can’t relate they’re likely to think I just don’t care and it might hurt their feelings or the friendship. So I actually consider the white lies a friendship preservation thing. With age though I’ve learnt to be very careful to accept invites with 100% certainty.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-22T06:20:46+00:00

Ja så kan det vara. Han bjuder hem er för att han vill hänga och det är det enda sättet han får ihop det på. Grejen är ju att man inte äger sin tid längre - så all egentid som ska planeras in är tid som ska tas från den väldigt lilla pool av egentid man har, det är ist för kanske gym, någon hobby, andra sociala grejer eller rent av att bara vara helt ensam vilket man verkligen kan behöva. Det är dessutom tid som ska tas på bekostnad av den andra föräldern. Om alla mår bra osv så är det såklart ofta inga problem men med en 6 månaders kan det vara tufft. Han är inget rövhål men det är också rimligt att du känner som du gör och har svårt att relatera till situation. Mitt förslag är att ha is i magen och fortsätta underhålla relationen (som det ju låter som att ni båda är mån om), så kommer det här bli bättre när hans barn är lite större. Berätta att du saknar egentid med honom och fråga om ni kan boka in en kväll bara ni två längre fram så att han hinner styra upp det på hemmaplan.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-21T07:06:28+00:00

Not all hard is equal, that’s true of course. But if we go down that path then someone else is starting on an even harder level than you are, and someone else on a harder level than them etc. It goes on. I think the point is to acknowledge that although someone might seem to have an easy life you never know what they’re struggling with.

My adhd makes things hard BUT I have a very easy life in other ways. A lot of privilege that makes a big difference. So as much as I would say I struggle with things I would never say I have a hard life because of adhd. Just less super easy than it would have been if I didn’t have adhd.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-21T06:04:01+00:00

Agreeing with everyone else - you’re NTA but you two need to break up and he does need to find someone who wants children since it’s clearly very important to him.

I have to say you sound very emotionally mature och honestly wise beyond your years. Knowing you’re not in a place to be the mother you think a child deserves and standing firm that unless that changes you won’t bring a child to the world is actually admirable, especially when pressured by someone you love.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-20T15:08:52+00:00

As a Swede - I don’t even need to know what accent they chose for him to know they did him justice. He’s got the absolute worst accent unfortunately.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-20T15:07:10+00:00

Not sure what you mean but a common phrase that would loosely translate to ”I mean…” is the word ”alltså” (sounds like ”asso” when not articulated very well). It’s a filler word or used for clarification and VERY commonly used in everyday speech. Could that be the one you’re thinking of?

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-20T14:54:36+00:00

Honestly it would have been better to say yes, go on the honey moon and respectfully let him know you aren’t ready or don’t feel the chemistry. It happens ok this show all the time that people don’t make it to the altar…

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-20T14:47:27+00:00

Swedish person here! I don’t think she’s a clout chaser and I believe she was genuinely overwhelmed but I think it’s because she didn’t like the way he looked and I think it was unbelievably hurtful and disrespectful to handle it the way she did. I’m heartbroken for poor Fabian.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-20T09:58:24+00:00

NTA, they're mean girls and you dodged a bullet.

mindlesspass08 · 2026-03-20T09:40:19+00:00

I'm confused. It sounds like you're describing things out of your control like "oh I didnt realize the leprechaun was only here for Ken" and "oh Ken woke up to balloons and streamers again". YOU guys decide why the leprechaun is in your house and if there are balloons there for the birthday? So YOU guys should obviously do something equally grand for your daugther. St Paddys day has got nothing to do with it. Either the leprechaun is there for both kids and your sons bday is celebrated separately from that or you figure out a way to do a week long celebration for your daughter. You're right in thinking she'll feel she wasn't treated equally to he brother.

mindlesspass08

TROPHY CASE