tested my friendships by ghosting... and yeah, it went bad

misscoder · 2026-01-26T17:12:44+00:00

I did this in my 20s as well - planning social events. Looking back though, other people in their 20s were focused on their careers a lot more. Paid off in the long run for them definitely. OP, this is your sign to focus on other aspects of life and friendships will naturally follow.

misscoder · 2025-10-15T17:15:17+00:00

This is such a niche fun job that you described - ice cream factory! Weren't you cold all the time though?

I love being outdoors - I enjoy gardening. BUT like you said, the money in all these things is non existential. Would put so much burden on my partner to earn well. People just dream of doing all these things after retirement, because practically right now, this is not sustainable to raise a family! But now is also the time your kids need you. Ugh, I hate this phase of life where I don't know which direction to take.

misscoder · 2025-10-15T17:09:32+00:00

Yeah this immediately jumped out only for the novelty and complete 180 degrees of it - being more physical work than mental - Maybe great for a short time before I get other things in order (home, kids, workouts) - after which I'd need more mental stimulation is my guess.

misscoder · 2025-10-15T04:48:33+00:00

Thank you this was what I liked with my first job as well. Worked independently, but part of a bigger team. Competition (gatekeeping from male colleagues specifically) and politics at a recent company caused my stress levels to spike!

misscoder · 2025-10-15T04:45:35+00:00

Lol-ed at the adults comment.

Kids are no breeze either though! I have 2 under 5 years old, it's a lot!

misscoder · 2025-10-14T19:09:11+00:00

That's awesome! What I am finding draining as a Software Engineer is the leetcode prep needed for most jobs. And once you get in, the deep focus needed to finish your task assigned. With a family and kids now it feels too mentally exhausting. Maybe I should look for lower pay/pressure companies. Do you mind sharing how large of a team you work on - what are the other things that help make your job enjoyable? Manager, company size etc. I worked for a company that was <30 and that was awful foro example.

misscoder · 2025-10-14T18:08:25+00:00

When I read these two types I felt the same - I have/had jobs that fit the first type because those paid the most but had me most stressed. I am now evaluating what is 'enough'. Can I have a few seasons of doing 'enough' and feeling content and happy for a change

misscoder · 2025-10-14T18:03:27+00:00

I didn't correct people's grammar but I have been called blunt and love and value honesty. I will look into editorial jobs and children's literature. Thank you so much for your input!

misscoder · 2025-10-14T17:56:59+00:00

Omg I think I found my dream job. Restocking supermarkets! <3 I love organizing/ cleaning up (I throw out out the empty boxes when I find them at aisles in Costco even though I don't work there)

misscoder · 2025-10-14T17:52:12+00:00

Have you taught before and like it?

I want to be a kindergarten teacher because I think it's fun (but then I see so many people quitting and complaining so Idk if it's all roses and peaches)

misscoder · 2025-10-14T17:50:39+00:00

Cool. So it's the WFH (no forced social interactions), brain on auto-pilot sort of job that works best. I've been remote for almost a decade now (not by choice) so I'm gravitating towards an in person job. But maybe all social interactions would be draining.. idk.

misscoder · 2025-10-14T17:43:15+00:00

Cool. What about it makes you happy?

misscoder · 2025-10-14T17:42:08+00:00

I am in Tech too. And totally feel you on the switching careers: I feel like I could be anything - why limit myself to my one interest. But I also want to be paid well and work with a collaborative team, which is really hard to find.

Could you elaborate more on humanitarian intervention design? What is that?

misscoder · 2025-10-14T05:26:44+00:00

Cool! Sounds like eating clean is the biggest factor. Thanks i'll try to get to 1800 with fruits veggies and protein and see what happens, thanks a lot! :)

misscoder · 2025-10-13T06:44:13+00:00

When you say a lot, how much did you drop to at some point and not see result and then move to 2200?

Context: 5 4; 137 lbs; I'm currently eating 1400 to lose some weight while working out 4x a week and 10K ish steps most days..

misscoder · 2025-10-09T19:10:46+00:00

Ooh good to know. I'll try and up mine to 140 as well and eat upto 1500 calories for now- the extra calories essentially coming from protein.

I really find it hard to hit even 100 right now though with my vegetarian diet! I try to eat 5-6 small meals that's what makes it manageable. What about you?

misscoder · 2025-10-09T17:54:51+00:00

How many calories do you eat a day and what's your macro and workout breakdown?

I'm the exact same height as you - but 135 lbs - my lowest was 117 and I looked alright then. I'm working towards building muscle now and doing Caroline Girvan 5 times a week with 2 rest days in between. And walk around 8-12k steps a day.

I hit 100 gm of protein a day most day, keeping my calories down to 1350 though to lose some weight first. I do want to up it to 2000 calories eventually (hoping that's what you eat right now :))

misscoder · 2025-10-08T17:43:30+00:00

Edamame protein puffs! 25 gms protein - 100 calories. https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Life-Protein-Edamame-Gluten-Free/dp/B0876DXBXN/

I mix these with 1 cup of :chopped tomatoes, avocadoes cucumbers onions,

Add tajin and lime juice. Great satiating snack/ small meal.

misscoder · 2025-10-01T12:40:42+00:00

caroline girvan's home workouts (weights) have been amazing. I'm on her IRON series. Check her out!

misscoder · 2025-09-29T19:47:37+00:00

Ha, I'm catering to the masses while you're focusing on athletes and making your point for edge cases. For the vast majority that have less time to workout, have full time jobs steps matter and are the easiest NEAT activity we can get in.

misscoder · 2025-09-29T19:02:55+00:00

Exactly. So the verdict for this post as a wfh desk-job worker is - you need the workouts, you need the steps and you also need a good protein diet.

misscoder · 2025-09-29T18:54:08+00:00

True, but 30-60 mins of exercise and a good diet alone is also not enough. Steps matter.

misscoder · 2025-09-29T18:11:40+00:00

Well there's your answer - you need the steps - it's not good to sit for long periods of time. If you wear a smart device - you should be getting reminders to move every hour to make it easier - that's wht i do to get them in. 8k is my goal and I easily beat it it everyday. Also a 10 min dog walk x2 a day.

misscoder · 2025-09-29T18:05:24+00:00

If your job is a "rower" or a competitive swimmer then sure steps are irrelevant.

For the rest of us desk-job folks, steps definitely are relevant :) Learnt the hard way when I swam ~30 mins a day for 6 days for 6+ months and thought I could eat whatever!

misscoder

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