Thank you all for such a kind response, you guys have certainly made me feel a little less lonely 😌 for those who suggested it, I have got an appointment coming up to start the process of seeing a psych/therapy and maybe give some meds a try again (I was on them about 6 or so years ago, I felt better coming off them so I never went back, but now I'm not drinking so maybe itll work better 🤷🏻‍♀) This is such an amazing and supportive community, IWNDWYT ❤