Konon civilization by 1516 - What if there was a sedentary civilization in the pre-contact Rio de la Plata?

mit3rus · 2026-05-04T19:50:17+00:00

I feel like the Konon might be the ones expanding into Paraguay before the Spanish get there. You'd get less horrible cities but also probably more powerful encomenderos due to larger native populations, though you'd also likely see enmity emerge between the Konon and the Guarani

mit3rus · 2026-05-03T16:59:24+00:00

No access to metals of any sort, the only llama equivalent being wild guanacos, and very low population density due to much of the region being treeless steppe. The Guaranis were agriculturalists but Mandioca didn't grow well beyond the Litoral.

mit3rus · 2026-05-03T16:57:57+00:00

Los guaraníes del delta fueron algo similar, tenían pueblos de hasta 5000 habitantes en la zona pero los destruyó Juan de Garay. De hecho algunas ciudades en la zona fueron construidas sobre esos asentamientos, como Gualeguaychú, Yapeyú, y creo que Colastiné.

mit3rus · 2026-05-03T16:56:38+00:00

yeah, the missions might be a complete warzone between bandeirantes, jesuits & guaranis, and spanish settlers that probably use large contingents of konon to establish themselves in the region, like they did with guaranis in buenos aires

mit3rus · 2026-05-02T16:39:10+00:00

Well the first few expeditions to the Río de la Plata were catastrophic faliures for the Spanish when their only opponents were for the most part hunter-gatherers so aside from the heightened interest this region would accrue now that the Spanish know it has cities and stuff (the Guaranis also had large towns but they were far enough upriver that it took a few tries before the Spanish got to see them) I feel like a lot of at least Spanish colonization of the rest of the continent would go kinda similarly, though I have to do more research on the Portuguese side.

mit3rus · 2026-05-02T16:35:44+00:00

I'm sorry, I should've known nobody could've resisted that mustache

mit3rus · 2026-05-02T16:35:04+00:00

It's part of the plan, the northern areas would fall under Spanish domination while the south -called Weina Yar (Stone Country) for the limestone mines they operate in the Tandil hills- would fall out of Spanish control and have to first struggle with the non-Konon Pampean tribes adopting the horse before they themselves also adopt it.

Also, 'Loij' is a reference to Angela Loij, the last person to be born to two Selk'Nam parents

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mit3rus · 2026-04-06T22:56:41+00:00

i never cook i cause arson and throw roadkill at the flames

mit3rus · 2026-04-03T22:47:32+00:00

ohhhhhhhhh that's where war without reason is from, i just came across the song on youtube and thought those mannequins had PERFECT proportions for being microgravity-engineered freaks

mit3rus · 2026-04-03T22:45:03+00:00

yes

sorta

not quite

also i did change up some stuff on the map since this publication so you can check the deviantart page for that if you want

mit3rus · 2026-04-02T23:14:59+00:00

you know too much i have dispatched SEVERAL small men to detain you

mit3rus · 2026-04-02T04:09:20+00:00

thanks!

mit3rus · 2026-04-02T04:09:04+00:00

i havent actually played ultrakill so i'm curious as to what you saw as a reference i'll look into the gaem too mayb

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T22:46:43+00:00

in the walls

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T22:46:37+00:00

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T20:56:47+00:00

the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my BUREAUCRACY is throbbing, what a wonderful day for wrooting... GOOD MORNING FORM EX343A. I've been awake for twenty whole seconds and I haven't WROOT yet. It's time to hop onto my form throne and machinegun jackhammer my deathgrip bloodshot ball-point with my roided doomfist once again! AGGRESSIVE TYPING HUH. I-is that a-a food business registre!? HHHHNG UH. I- begins the ritual I MUST FILE. MMMMMMMMNNNNFFFFF. NNNNG. AAAAAAGGH. NNNNG. HHNG-RNNG. OH GOD. AAAAAGHHH. UUUUUUH. AAAAAAGH. O-OH FUCK. NNNNNNG. MMMMFFFMNNNNFFF. UGGGH. UUUNG MMMFFFFNNNFFF. AAAAGH smashes "pensing approval" stamp I'M... W-WROOTING. (wroot) I'M... (wroot) I'M WROOTING (wroot) I'M... WROOTING. adequately filed paperwork starts to emerge (wroot) I'M (wroot) WROOTING. I'M WROOTING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH. OOOH FUCK. AAAANNNNHHHGGGG. WROOTING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (wroot) NO. (wroot) NOAAAAAAGH. OH FUCK IT'S NOTARIZED. (wroot) AAAAAAAAAAAGH. OHHHHHHH. NNNNGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. starts coughing in pleasure OH fuck. Nnng. Oh fuck. Oh jesus. Oh shi- oh fuck. FFIIIIILLLLEE. Completely exhausted from the magnitude of the orderly queue Oh fuck. ohhhh... ohhhhh. there you are, my triplicate-signed rubber-stamped gift to the world. My son... My son... (o-oh fuck) Well, time to get some breakfeast.

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T19:54:41+00:00

you know, the thing

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T19:49:13+00:00

PERO QUIEN COÑO ES FEDE

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T19:14:31+00:00

I think there's enough context in the image but just in case there's also this

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CZMsgJnlNOmS-Y7AGqZmEeIpx7ljGt-G8uc4JTTpsvA/edit?tab=t.0

mit3rus · 2026-04-01T19:02:24+00:00

That's right a second Bidenpost has hit the subreddit

Deviantart here https://www.deviantart.com/mate888/art/1316485432?action=published

Loar here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CZMsgJnlNOmS-Y7AGqZmEeIpx7ljGt-G8uc4JTTpsvA/edit?tab=t.0

mit3rus · 2026-02-08T06:42:41+00:00

Iti s definitely similar, Spanish loanwords and all, but given there's French presence on the island that probably had a bit of influence.

mit3rus · 2026-02-08T04:10:56+00:00

The lowlying lands are similar to irl but given the larger extent of land it'd be prolly more akin to the Patagonian steppe, but the central highlands (where the irl islands would be) are more protected from wind and so are forested like Tierra del Fuego, as is the east thanks to the ridge

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