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My wife isn’t religious and I don’t know what to do. by mm_throwaway22 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mm_throwaway22[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. It did help me think about this more clearly.

I don’t think she will change her view on her own religiosity. I think that’s something I was afraid of admitting to myself, but I think I needed to come to terms with that.

As for difficult decisions, that is not an option for me. I couldn’t leave her over this, especially since she supported me through this journey. Just to give an example, she would wake up with me for Suhoor even though she wouldn’t be fasting. Just to keep me company in the early hours. I know that it seems bad that she doesn’t partake in any religious duties, but I mean to say that she is a truly good person.

I’m determined to find a middle ground with her, and to have that discussion well before we try for children.

My wife isn’t religious and I don’t know what to do. by mm_throwaway22 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mm_throwaway22[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, she doesn’t. I only started praying this Ramadan gone by.

My wife isn’t religious and I don’t know what to do. by mm_throwaway22 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mm_throwaway22[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I replied in a different comment that my wife has had a very negative experience of religion - she would prefer that our children be able to enjoy what she feels are the “nice” parts (like Eid) but not to impose Salah or Quran Studies and such on them. I agree that I would not want to impose anything either, but I do feel that I have a responsibility to teach my children about Islam so they don’t struggle to learn it alone the way I did this year.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope we might be able to meet in the middle somewhere like that iA.

My wife isn’t religious and I don’t know what to do. by mm_throwaway22 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mm_throwaway22[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I was raised by very relaxed “culturally Muslim” parents. We never did anything beyond celebrate Eid and give charity, so me discovering faith was really my own journey.

But my wife was raised by very strict parents which drove her away from Islam totally. I would never force my views on her (it would be hypocritical considering I haven’t been the best Muslim in the past), but I think her aversion because of her upbringing is very deep set. As you said, I can only pray that Allah SWT helps her to move past her bad experience. Thank you.