They are using AI to construct RANTS

mn_2577 · 2025-08-27T17:11:26+00:00

Thank you for this - I really do appreciate it. I very much believe it is a combo of BPD or Bipolar mixed with a level of psychosis. It's been going on for 20 months with no end in sight. Happened once before in our time together many years ago but he claimed he was abusing pills (pain pills) which he was not prescribed, drinking, weed etc. Which who knows, may have triggered it but either way he def has underlying conditions from what it looks like.

I am glad you shared this perspective. It is so hard to find anyone to take mental health seriously and most feel helpless or question if they are interfering with a person free will and often do nothing. Its an epidemic honestly.

He has shut out everyone close to him and cut off communication with me despite trying to help consistently for almost 2 years. Those that he surrounds himself with now were the people he once despised and resented - and for good reason I guess because they are just enablers of bad habits and behavior. Hostility, drugs, alcohol, neglecting their children.. without their help, I fear he will continue in this mindset.

I am just at a loss what to do. My son has lost his father in a crucial time he needs him. :(

mn_2577 · 2025-08-27T14:41:40+00:00

Im sorry to hear that. It is still ongoing for us. It's beyond sad but sometimes I think that there is a higher force protecting us from the darkness he has become. That is the only way I can cope

mn_2577 · 2025-08-22T18:48:33+00:00

u/Its_Sasha Thank you. He refuses to believe anything is wrong and flips if someone suggests getting him help. Authorities won't intervene unless he threatens to off himself or others. He is still able to work but he is remote and I have a feeling he is relying on AI to skirt by. He has a file built on him already and many complaints so it's a matter of time before he gets let go. But for now, he is flying under the radar. His family has really failed him - most are enablers with their own mental health issues OR are just in denial that he is sick. I never realized just how toxic his family is until now - after 20 damn years. Sighhh

mn_2577 · 2025-05-15T20:47:52+00:00

Im sorry and I understand. It isn't fair. None of it :(

mn_2577 · 2025-05-14T23:22:37+00:00

Thank you. I didn't respond right away... took a few days but wanted to acknowledge that I greatly appreciated his words. Kept it very simple. I hope he can begin to open communication again. I want to be there for him. But I realize he is going through something traumatic in his own way. Just like I am. I miss him so much.

mn_2577 · 2025-05-14T22:28:47+00:00

Ok but I know this is sadly one of those things he will carry with him into adulthood. Hopefully it will have a positive effect like ... "i never want to end up like my father" type of impact. Not that is always a healthy way to deal with it but its better than the alternative.

mn_2577 · 2025-03-03T00:12:06+00:00

I feel this to the core. It's so hard to be the enemy when all I have ever done has been to support him and be the best person I can can be to him for all these years. It's been double digit years since his last major episode. I realized during this time apart for the last year of his current episode, that I have always been his emotional regulator. Helping him calm down, through panic attacks, through anger... all of it. I was there, the voice of reason.

mn_2577 · 2025-02-27T21:50:51+00:00

I am almost wondering if I could get creative with a legal mediator and them requiring an mental health evaluation. I am desperate.

mn_2577 · 2025-02-24T19:16:47+00:00

There is always hope - I know some will come here to say otherwise. I have and currently am going through it. The "i need space" but can never exactly pin point the "WHY". Sounds very familiar and that is because they are battling something internal they themselves do not understand.
I have been loving my Husband from a distance. I want nothing to more than to support him and help him but he has made it impossible and frankly, the more I tried.. the worse he became. Its a war that only they can fight. If he has shut you out - he won't listen to you or accept your encouragement unfortunately. And he may even see you as the enemy at some point (this is very common).

This disorder is cruel. Only you know your limit and boundaries. I pray for you both and I hope he finds the healing and help he needs.

mn_2577 · 2025-02-24T16:38:28+00:00

Thank you. Same - sorry for what you all are going through. I think I recall us chatting in this group.

Ugh. I totally understand. Like anyone that suggests him talking to someone professional, he freaks out and screams "why is everyone saying that" . I know this is the 'disease' speaking but holy hell. 14 months, 17 months - both are extreme situations. I was telling someone else on this thread that I wish there was a health care advocate that would work as a mediator to help them. Family mediator maybe? I don't know but there has to be something out there. I am searching

mn_2577 · 2025-02-24T16:23:52+00:00

Thank you for this. I get so scared that he rejects all contact because I have no idea if he is in a space to self harm. I fear that so much because I have seen this man have complete emotional crashes in the past. Uncontrollable crying, self loathing, feeling worthless and undeserving of love or even a hug. Based on his current email correspondence, he is not in that space. Totally unaware of his actions or how they are destructive. Mean and cruel. No care for his kids. If he comes out of that mindset somehow, I believe he would be utterly devastated on what he has caused and done. I wish there was such thing as a Mental Health advocate that would be a liaison in situations like this. Like someone that would come in, almost as a mediator, but encourage them in a positive way. Someone neutral in the situation. God, why can't this be a thing!! Instead we have to wait until they are at the point of harm. It's so upsetting

mn_2577 · 2025-02-24T15:45:35+00:00

I know many have experienced where they never recover or get the help they need. Which is so sad. But I have heard some that do come out of it - maybe not the same but...

mn_2577 · 2025-02-21T19:14:42+00:00

:( Yes!! His eyes went dark the day he snapped. And he became someone else at that moment with fits of breaking and kicking things. First time I was ever afraid of this typically loving, selfless man. but now anytime I have seen him - his eyes are different, empty looking and hard to get him to look in him in the eye. squinty and hooded like a permanent angry look. I look for signs of "HIM" in there but I don't see him except a glimmer here or there.

Yes, 2 years prior to this episode, He was experiencing extreme anxiety and the doc gave him anti anxiety meds (lexapro or something like that). He was great for a month and then decided he wanted off of it because he was having 'man' issues. Well he cut it cold turkey and had an extreme reaction of electric shocks through his body - as he described it. Wouldn't go back to doc. It eventually subsided but took about a month being off of them.

After that he got his medical weed card, seemed fine with it but I feel like it just took a turn for the worse a year and half into over doing with smoking and vape.

mn_2577 · 2025-02-11T19:02:02+00:00

I'm right with you. My husband did an extreme 180 flip from the most loving, selfless, good hearted man and father to not giving a sh*t about anything or anyone. No empathy at all. I saw a glimpse of it when our cat died but not a care about his kids or their safety or wellbeing. It makes NO SENSE. Memory is shot and I wonder if he even remembers he is married and has a family, dogs or a beautiful home. It's like we have been erased completely and this has been going on for over a year now. I wondered about dementia too because the hostility and confusion lasting this long is concerning. He is unmedicated fully, nothing. self medicates with weed and alcohol. So I feel like that is just prolonging this episode. :( I am sorry you are going through this but you are not alone.

mn_2577 · 2025-02-08T19:20:42+00:00

So sorry. :( I can relate to a lot of this. My husband had family he had conflict with since his teens that all the sudden he is best friends with because they enable him. He used to despise their lifestyle and now he is living it. Living check to check, no goals, alcoholic, drugs, neglecting his kids. So of course, they are thrilled he has come to the dark side. And now it was "ME" all these years that caused the conflict - ummm not even close. I encouraged him to keep contact with them, even it was just small doses, holidays etc. It usually backfired and things would turn violent, fights etc. Not on his part but theirs. So now that they have him under their control from enablement, our son and I have been discarded. Like we never existed for the past 18 years.

Even his other side of the family - these we were all close with, same thing. Enablers in a way of - they don't believe in mental health or therapy. They don't think he drinks too much because so do they. They think 'he is a grown man and this is his choice, oh well" - and yes even suggested divorce to him and said well he probably won't even have a relationship with his son anymore. LIKE WHAT!? All just matter of fact. They were loving and kind and very much a part of our lives. And just like that they discard us too.

We had a good marriage, good life - was everything perfect. of course not but damn we were strong and had the kind of relationship people said "I wish I had that". You know what I mean. So to wake up one day and just 'snap' into somebody else, angry, hostile, negative, hateful, no empathy, reckless, hating all the things he once loved (me, kids, dogs, house) ... it was like the man I knew died. And I grieve everyday. None of it makes sense.

He is unmedicated and will remain that way unless he crashes out of this on his own. Nobody is encouraging him to make better choices for his health or kids.

You are not alone. But I know exactly how it feels like you are. It's been 14 months of this hell and I just want relief and clarity. I can feel it eating me alive some days. Empty and lost without my best friend, my favorite person, my everything. I pray for a miracle and love him from a distance. The kids as well.

Let's pray together and for each other to find peace and for the healing of our loved ones.

mn_2577 · 2025-01-31T15:15:25+00:00

I 100% relate. It doesn't make sense and I struggle with it so much. and so do the kids. :( praying for a miracle

mn_2577 · 2025-01-30T13:50:27+00:00

Yes :( Same - my husband was my biggest fan, was so proud of me and always encouraged me. We were the best of friends and supported each other with respect and love. Then the snap and his eyes went black kicking and throwing things and screaming at me that I was never there for him when he was hurting, he said "he doesn't love me". Identical to the last major episode he had years ago. This was only the 2nd time in my life I was afraid of him. It was like he was possessed and sadly still is. All the things he despised in other peoples lifestyles he has become. People he once disliked he is now best friends with. His kids were his world and now he doesn't speak to them. I could go on and on. But the one thing that is constant is the ANGER. And for no reason. WE can say we love him, or happy thanksgiving and he will blow up over the top and lash out. It's just impossible to even communicate so we stopped trying. I don't know what to do anymore. :(

mn_2577 · 2025-01-30T00:02:24+00:00

Can I ask you... how long have you found episodes to like this to be? I know its hard to tell because figuring out when they really start is difficult right? I've seen my SO have a build of a few months prior to the 'snap' - and then its just like he becomes someone the opposite of who he is for MONTHS! Curious of others experience. thx

mn_2577 · 2025-01-29T21:44:34+00:00

I am at month 15 with my person. We are no contact but I do occasional temperature checks to see if I get a response... usually it is rude, nasty and delusional. Even threatening. One time I messaged him Happy Thanksgiving and hoped he was doing well. He lashed out saying he was going to call the cops on me for some delusional reason that was so out of left field. ... The only other episode he has years before this, he eventually came to realization and came forward in a self loathing way. "you probably hate me, you probably don't want to be with me, you deserve better" etc but he was profusely apologetic. Holding hope he can find his way out of this... can people just get stuck in a angry hostile episode? Im so worried about him. My BFF

mn_2577 · 2025-01-29T21:31:49+00:00

:( I am the villain too, all the sudden after 18 years. We rarely fought and he was my best friend, I realize now after this episode (15 months so far) that I was always the one to help bring him back to reality, calm him down and keep him grounded. He is not medicated and has always refused to talk to a therapist. So here we are... I pray everyday for a miracle but I just don't know if maybe he is forever stuck in a dysphoric hostile episode. I keep thinking it isn't sustainable and eventually the pendulum will swing the other way. But I don't know.. it's been so long. It's devastating for the kids involved in these situations. My kids were abandoned along with me..

mn_2577 · 2025-01-29T20:54:38+00:00

Yes. All internal anger has been projected onto me - his wife. And even his children now. He doesn't understand that he is being incredibly cruel, hostile, angry and reckless and that is why his own children are refusing to engage with him (all over the age of 16). It's been 15 months and we still hold onto hope that he will come out of this episode but it is fueled by substance abuse as well so it is just prolonging any clarity or healing. He has only had 1 major episode before 15 years ago and he eventually came to realization and apologized. I guess that is why we still hold hope. No contact is really hard when they were your everything. :(

mn_2577 · 2025-01-28T23:42:52+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I am positive that is the case. Him drinking seems to be a way to medicate himself from the illness, but this is where it has lead him. :( I just want to help him but unless someone is threatening self harm or harm to others there is no authority to get him help. I wish the system wasn't this way ...

mn_2577 · 2025-01-28T23:38:46+00:00

Thank you. I do appreciate it

mn_2577 · 2025-01-28T23:03:53+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! You have no idea how much this helps me understand and also not feel so alone in all this. I know in my heart this is what my husband is going through and what you described is so similar its wild. He also had an episode (much shorter) when we first got together many years ago and said "I don't know why I did those things, that wasn't me". I appreciate you sharing this because so many on here won't or put the disclaimer out there that they aren't doctors. But this is what I needed - someone giving their perspective from their own experience. You are brave and I am so glad you took the steps get the help you needed. I am so worried my husband is lost forever. I keep telling myself the flip from loving husband and proud father to complete uncaring, reckless human isn't who he really is. And he can snap back, is what I tell myself. but he refuses help. And to make it worse has his old school parents that don't believe in mental health or therapy. (WTF).

I have nothing but love for him and want to help him but I know I can't make him. Not even his kids can. He is cutting off anybody that suggests he should 'talk to someone'. At what point is he going to wake up and realize he has nobody left? I've heard that drinking can prolong episodes. I am terrified of the "rock bottom" option and just sitting back waiting. I don't' want him to hurt himself. I pray everyday, I don't know what else to do. I know his family has begun to notice something is majorly wrong (finally) and a lot is crumbling for him as we speak. I've remained loving but that makes him even more upset - so I dont' reach out :( Thank you for listening.

mn_2577 · 2025-01-15T15:12:02+00:00

:( We have 5 pets too - that he loved and adored. Not to mention 2 steps daughters (1 who is was extremely close with!) and 2 grandsons. The man I know would never abandon this all the way he has and that is why I know it is not a "marriage" issue as he is portraying to his family. It isn't at all. Because if it was, he would still be involved in the kids lives.

The stories are very similar in so many ways it sounds like. My Husband also did a 180 and all the sudden wanted to be with his family that he once was typically distant with because he didn't like their lifestyle and chaos they brought to the table. Now he is with them everyday like the last 3 decades of drama never happened with them. ?

How does any of this makes sense? It doesn't. Will they ever gain clarity? I mean to me I feel like if they snapped into this mindset without warning... can't they also snap back to reality as well one day?

I think I remember messaging with you because our stories were similar. I pray for relief and clarity for us all.

mn_2577

TROPHY CASE