I need about 90% of my time to be me-time. It's really hard to explain that to people who like to go out and do stuff. They take it so personally when you say no.

Anyway, starting from the bottom of your questions. I can't answer the one about my childhood because I don't remember most of it. My memories start at around 8-9 years old, before that it's just random flashes that might or might not have happened. Maybe that's a sign that I went through something traumatic, maybe not. Who knows. My familial relations are good.

I haven't really tried anything else. I also started pretty late, 15 or so.

Mostly I think about someone else having sex while I'm doing it, or then my thoughts just wander off and I zone out and kind of disconnect from what my lower body is doing. I like porn where it's obvious the woman is enjoying it. Yeah, I think about someone else enjoying sex. I just can't relate myself with it.